Kiss of Snow

20

The cool air outside brushed against my cheeks, and the noise from inside was immediately muted, even though the doors remained open. Only faint strains of musical notes drifted outside, and Lily heaved a huge sigh.

She brought her hand to her head and massaged her temple. “Do you think I’ve danced enough to make the people happy?”

“Which people?” I moved a little closer to her. I could barely see her in the shadows where she’d chosen to stand, out of view of anyone in the ballroom. The light pouring through the doors cut a golden path through the palace gardens and the long grasses swished their percussion into the night.

“I don’t know. All of them?” She shook her head as she gave a low laugh. “I’m tired, Keane.”

I moved even closer at her soft voice, trying to hear what she said before the breeze tore her words away. “I’m sure you can retire now. No one will chastise the future Queen of Talador for taking to her bed.”

“Thank you, but I meant I’m tired of everything. The attacks, the move to the summer palace when I should still be with my sisters, the carnival show that is my process for finding a husband…” She sighed. “What woman wants to actively interview suitors? No, forget suitors. They’re more like human sacrifices offered up by their kingdoms in hopes we might forge a political allegiance.”

I stood silently. If I knew Lily, she wasn’t finished talking, and she needed someone to listen. Though she was often quiet and serious around others—in fact, many around the castle called her cold—when we were alone, she often spoke freely.

“What if I choose the wrong one? I’ve spent my life studying for this role, and I still feel like I don’t know enough to make the right political decisions. Not with different relationships still so fraught.”

“You’ll always make the right decision, Lily,” I said, using her first name as she’d requested of me.

She reached out and clutched my arm. “I’m glad you’re here, Keane. I always feel safe with you by my side, and you’ve never been anything but supportive.”

My heart ached, and I smoothed my hand over my chest like it was a pain I could soothe. It hurt to be so close to Lily, to have her reach out to me, and to know I could only ever be her guard. Maybe I was crazy to keep doing it, to deliberately watch Lily every day and to know I could never be anything more. But I didn’t think I could stop. Her life and her happiness meant too much to me. I couldn’t walk away. Instead, I stood there and let her hold my arm, feeling her touch through my uniform jacket like a brand on my skin.

I rested my hand over hers, unable to stop myself. “I’ll always be here for you.”

Her face was pale as she turned it up toward me, and her blue eyes almost seemed to glow in the torchlight. Her red lips parted, and I couldn’t help but lean closer to her. She pressed upward just a little, until I could feel her soft breath against my mouth. I inhaled sharply, as my heart knocked against my ribs. Lily sighed a little, and I looked right into her eyes before she closed them almost in invitation. My head lowered, my mouth only inches away from meeting hers.

“Lily!” At Iris’s excited screech, we jumped apart, and heat flared up my cheeks. “You have to come back inside. This is so much fun, and everyone wants to dance with you.”

Lily sighed again, heavier this time, but her perfume still lingered in my nose and I could still feel the soft pressure of her hand against my arm as she’d stretched up to meet my lips. My c**k twitched at the memory, and I shook my head against the inappropriate response from my body.

Lily turned to Iris, and her lips formed her usual pleasant smile. “Yes, I suppose it is time for me to return inside. I’ve cooled off sufficiently now, but perhaps only one more dance?”

“Only one?” Iris asked, then took Lily’s hand and dragged her back into the ballroom.

I followed Lily as usual, trailing behind the two princesses. As much as I regretted Iris’s interruption, it was for the best. I’d nearly kissed the future queen, my queen. She wasn’t just Lily to me, and I couldn’t lose sight of that.

Fourteen

Lily

I

sat in my carriage, my hands folded in my lap as I jolted up and down over the rough track to the lake. Grimelda had recommended ice skating on the frozen lake, but she didn’t seem to have taken into account the journey there.

Keane appeared at my window, his nose and cheeks red from the cold air. “I think we might have to stop the carriage here. The track is narrowing and becoming more impassable.”

I nodded and picked up the skates Grimelda said she’d found in the back of a closet. They were pristine, and it was far more likely Dahlia had sent them along in a bag, but I gave Grimelda the recognition and acknowledgement she surely deserved for taking care of the castle alone for so long. It was really the least I could do due to the speed at which she’d had to organize and be ready for our visit. Not to mention seven noblemen from across the kingdoms.

Three of whom I was meeting now. I sighed. Despite being heir to the throne for all of my life, I’d never expected to meet my husband through a series of group dates. Perhaps I’d been naïve. There was no reason I couldn’t end up happy with a political union. Rose had managed both.

But I wasn’t my sister. I didn’t have her bravery or her defiance. That had been bred out of me in favor of diplomacy and regal aloofness.