Kiss of Snow

25

“Just climb in this side,” Lily called as she opened the other door. “I’ll move along to make space.”

It gratified me to see that Lily’s smile seemed a little thin. The carriage rocked whenever Vasso laughed, which seemed often, and as he left, Lily pushed down her window.

“Are you all right?” I asked.

“Just a little motion sickness, I think,” she murmured as she took in long breath after breath of air.

The last man arrived, the young one, and Lily smiled gracefully. “Lord Gusten, it’s nice to finally meet you properly.”

He blushed right up his neck to the tips of his ears, and I looked away from his obvious discomfort. She’d soon have him feeling more at ease, though, I thought bitterly.

I stood outside the carriage for longer than with the other three lords, and my heart sank a little. Out of all them, this seemed to be the one she liked most. I’d tried not to focus too much on the cozy meetings happening inside the carriage, but each sound grated across my skin, and every touch across her skin made me grip the handle of my sword just a little tighter.

With every man who spent time with her, I died a little more. But I had to get myself together. Frustration at myself coursed through me. Lily needed a competent guard following her around, not a lovesick puppy.

Still, I was more glad than usual to ride alongside the carriage on the journey back to the palace. It meant that the courting opportunities were over, and that I could see Lily safely to her room.

She briefly greeted Rose and Iris, who were playing a game of cards in a corner of the great hall. It was the quietest I’d witnessed Princess Iris in a long time as she bit her lip to concentrate on the fan of cards in her hand.

“No, don’t stand for me. I’m a little tired,” Lily explained to Rose as she bent to give her a hug. “I’m going to go straight to my room, and I’ll see you both at dinner. I couldn’t possibly drink another drop of liquid. I’m quite positive I’d float away if I did. I’ve been plied with cocoa all afternoon.”

I walked behind her down the stone corridor, my booted footsteps echoing sharply around us. Lily walked with her had lowered, like she was deep in thought.

“Are you all right?” I murmured.

“Fine, thank you,” she answered, but she paused outside her room. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

“How was your afternoon?” I managed to keep my tone light.

She rested her hand lightly on the stone doorframe outside her room. “That’s what I can’t stop thinking about.”

I studied her graceful fingers, imagining her touching one of those men, cupping his face or stroking his hair. The thought made me want to stab the theoretical man through with my blade.

“None of them are good enough for you,” I blurted before I slammed my mouth shut. I’d never been so inappropriate before.

Lily’s expression changed, her jaw becoming tight, her eyebrows drawing down. “Thank you, Keane, but I don’t believe that’s any of your business, and I haven’t asked for your opinion.”

“My apologies, Your Majesty.” I hadn’t intended to wear my heart on my sleeve quite so obviously, but her words stung anyway.

“I’m not sure you understand how difficult this is for me,” Lily continued, her voice low and controlled. “I don’t have a choice. I have to marry one of these men for the good of Talador. Dahlia thinks it will secure my rule and possibly save my life to have a strong king beside me. If she and Garon believe these are the best men, I have to give them a chance.” She finished on almost a pleading note, and I met her gaze, surprised to see the vulnerability in her eyes.

“I really am sorry.” I reached for her, my fingers grazing her hand before I let my arm drop back to my side. My desire to touch her, to connect like that, was inappropriate.

“I have to marry one of them.” She used that same pleading tone, and it was clear neither one of us was happy about that fact. My chest tightened, but I managed to nod and turn away, shutting the door behind me.

This had to stop now. No more pining after her. No more touching. No more near kisses. All I was doing was hurting her more.

Seventeen

Lily

I

would have liked my sisters to be at the dinner with me, but no matter how often I closed my eyes and wished the most fervent of wishes, neither sister materialized at the table. They’d both declined the invitation, saying this night was for me and my suitors to get to know each other better, and they would only get in the way.

I looked around the seven men. Each of them had reverted to type. Grumpy Theund had one meaty hand wrapped around a clay tankard, scowling at anyone who dared so much as glance at him. Sleepy Covack had his eyes closed as his head bobbed up and down. Every so often an amused grin flickered across his face or he woke himself with a half-snort. He really was fascinating to watch, even if I was starting to grow worried about him. Danzin aka “Doc” kept trying to discuss plants with Sneezy Hirth, who blew his nose into a handkerchief the entire time. Dopey Vasso knocked over his water glass, while Happy Lasloe told a funny story to Bashful Gusten, who smiled awkwardly the entire time. I tried to imagine any one of them as my husband…and failed.

“Your Majesty,” Theund leaned toward me, surprising me. “May I serve you a drink?”

“Thank you.” I inclined my head in acknowledgement as he lifted the carafe of wine and poured some into my glass. Perhaps I’d misjudged him—although his voice still growled from his bushy beard, so I couldn’t tell if he was truly being friendly or not.