Chapter 5 - Back to Normal-ish
997 Words
It was two months after the toga party, and Livia was finally starting to feel normal again. She hadn’t told anyone that she was hearing voices. No one except her therapist. There was no point in worrying Jenny or Ewan, especially since she and Ewan had been texting regularly, and sitting together in their shared classes.
Dr. Moritz couldn’t find any indication of any psychotic or mood disorders, thank goodness. When she had told him about the recurring dreams of being in the dark wood, though, he suspected the voice might be related to a sleeping disorder. Livia had left the appointment that day with a recommendation for her family doctor for sleeping medication and a sleep study.
Shortly after she started on the medication, the dreams and the voice disappeared. She had to admit that she missed the dreams, but the relief of being free of that voice in her head was totally worth it.
And in the meantime, she was spending more and more time with Ewan. The butterflies she used to feel for him were no longer there, but in its place was a warm friendship that was developing.
He was just as sweet and caring a person as she’d imagined. He opened doors, pulled out chairs; sent her videos captioned with “this made me think of you!”
She felt like she was leading him on…
“I don’t get it!” She said to Jenny one day while they were out having coffee. “I used to feel so strongly about him. I was crushing on him so hard! Then suddenly…POOF!...it’s gone.” Livia felt like she was struggling to love him.
“Was it the toga party kiss?” Jenny had heard the story again and again at this point. “You said you wanted it, and don’t regret it.”
“No… I was still in my feelings up to the day before the party.”
“And it wasn’t all the kisses you’ve had ever since then, right?”
Livia blushed and absentmindedly stirred her latte.. “No, those were pretty great.”
“And you still think he’s hot, right?”
“Definitely!”
“So what’s the issue?”
“I don’t know! That’s the problem!” Livia threw up her hands in frustration, nearly spilling both their coffees. They’d had this conversation a thousand times in the past few months. “I think I have to break up with him.”
“What? Why?” Jenny was indignant. She was convinced that the two history nerds were soulmates.
“It just feels…wrong. I don’t have those lovey-dovey feelings anymore. I enjoy his company. I really do! I just don’t feel…IT”
Jenny looked at her friend and thought a long while before speaking.
“Have you slept with him yet?” She asked bluntly.
“What? No!” Livia lowered her voice to a whisper. ”But we’ve done other stuff.” She smiled thinking of his lean body up against hers. His soft hands caressing her face, her curves, her other more secretive places…
“Oh my god, Liv, what are you waiting for? Also…” Jenny leaned across the table, not caring that her hair was trailing through their plate of chocolate-dipped biscotti. “... is it big? You HAVE to tell me”
“You’re so gross!” Livia laughed and swatted playfully at her. “I dunno, it just hasn’t happened yet. We both still live at home so not much chance to be really alone. She shrugged.
“But you DO want to sleep with him.” It wasn’t a question so much as a statement of fact.
Livia sighed. “I guess I haven’t decided yet. We’re going camping in a few weeks. If it hasn’t happened by then. I don’t think it’s going to happen at all” She and Ewan had planned a weekend camping trip to a nearby national park. She was looking forward to it, but also a little uneasy about spending time alone with the guy she wasn’t 100% sure about.
“Ooooo! I didn’t know it was going to be just the two of you on that trip! OK” She took Livia’s hands in hers. “Now, you know I LOVE whatever this thing is between you guys. I”m your #1 fan. Mostly because I’m partly responsible for it.” She continued dramatically, “I’m willing to sacrifice all the hard work I’ve put into getting you together…”
“Geez, Jenny…” Livia chuckled
“No no no! It breaks my heart to learn that your two lovebirds aren’t perfectly happy.”
“We’ve been casually seeing each other for a couple of months.”
“TRUE LOVE IS A WORTHY BATTLE!”
Other patrons of the coffee shop started looking over at them in confusion, and the barista shot them a dirty look.
“Oops!” Jenny lifted an apologetic hand to the barista and mouthed sorry before turning back to her slightly embarrassed friend. “Sorry, got a little carried away. Seriously, though. I just want you to be happy. Give him one last shot to do that”
“Yeah, that’s what I was figuring,” Livia replied. “Either way it’s gonna be fun.”
“That’s the spirit!”
The two girls finished their coffees and parted ways. Livia felt a little better about the trip with Ewan after talking it over with her best friend. No pressure, just let it happen. If if he was as good in bed as he was at all the other little things they’d already done, she would have a good time regardless.
But deep inside, she still had a heavy feeling of doubt. The words of that strange voice were gone, but their intention was still lingering..
He's not the one.
He is not your destiny.
Our mate is out there, and we need to find him.
- Writer
