In the middle of nowhere

Faking it

Lamar pov

I turn around again. And again, and again. Nope. I'm probably not goingto fall asleep again. As soon as I realise I'm just not going to fall asleepagain I grab my phone to see what time it is. 7:43. Well that could've beeworse.

Without making to much noise I climb out my cubby and put some normalclothes on. After I grabbed a glass of water in the 'kitchen' I walk to thebacklounge. I wasn't expecting someone to be up already, and if I already wasexpecting it, Briar would be the last. But it's her. Briar is sitting on thecouch in the back lounge facing the window. 

"What are you doing here already?" I ask her just quiet enoughso I won't wake anyone up. Briar clearly didn't hear me coming, she jumps (notliterally of course, she's sitting but I hope you get what I mean) and turnsher head scared around. "I'm sorry," I say apologizing, "Ididn't want to scare you." "It's okay," she says with a creakyvoice. Her eyes are red and puffy and it looks like she has been crying forhours.

"You're okay?" I ask worried sitting down besides her."Yea I'm fine," she says faking a little smile. "I ehh I want totell you something," I say. I look at Briar and she looks worried likecrazy. You went outside with Myles at the club right?" I say and Briarlooks even more worried. "I was sitting outside because I had aheadache," I continue. "What did you hear?" Briar asks, hervoice sounds like she can start to cry every second. "Everything," Isay. Briar burst into tears and I wrap my arm around her.

"I just can't live with it," she says crying. "Iknow," I say, she's literally sick of it.

"Have you even slept this night?" I ask. "No," Briarsays sniffling her nose. "I know things aren't as worse as I see them inmy head," she continues, "but it's just to hard for me to faceeveryone right now." "I understand," I say, "it will all bealright in the end, but the timing is just terrible." "Exactly,"Briar says wiping away some tears, "thanks for listening." "Anytime," I say and smile.

Briar stands up. "I'm going to my cubby before anyone else wakesup," she says. "Sure?" I ask. "Yea," she says,"I'm not ready yet." "Okay," I say, "staystrong." "Thank you," Briar says and leaves the back lounge.

I never thought things could mess up this much. We went on tour as agroup of really close friends, now we're just people. I want to call them closefriends, but I doubt they are. I barely know them. Everyone has their ownproblems right now and nobody is sharing them. Everything is just gone and in afew days we've to give a show. In a few days we've to do dance again as a groupof good friends. How are we ever going to do that??

Trevor pov

And so also the second day went by. We're almost halfway to our nextdestination and we can't be there soon enough. I sleep until somewhere around12. I figured out time goes by faster as I sleep. Sitting in this bus is justsoooo boring. Of course it would be a lot nicer if Brittany wouldn't ignore me,but I guess I'm not that lucky.

I'm not the most social person right now, but it will all be fine whenwe all have some more space. I lay with my earphones in my ears listening tomusic. Maybe the volumes is a little too high.... I don't hear someone iscalling my name until someone pulls harshly an earphone out my ear."Ej!" I say, "they don't have to break!" "Did I scareyou?" Victoria asks laughing. "NO," I say defensive, "Itotally saw you coming." "Interesting," Victoria says,"seeing with your eyes closed." "I ment hearing of course,"I say fast. "But you didn't hear me call your name?" Victoria asks.

"What's up?" I ask going as soon as possible over in anothersubject. "It's your turn to make lunch," Victoria says and I sigh."Why I??" I ask, "I thought it was the girls first then theboys, so that would mean that I'm tonight." "True," Victoriasays, "but Briar's sick and of course she's not going to do it alone.""Can't Myles do it?" I ask, "I'm paired up with him right?""He's busy," Victoria says. "We're in a freaking tour bus, howbusy can he possibly be?!" I say kind of angry kind of confused. Spendingtime with Brittany and no one else will be so awkward. She'll just totallyignore me and no, I'm just not gonna do it.

"Seriously," Victoria says sounding a little irritated,"for once please don't be so childish!" "Jeez someone is in agood mood," I say regretting it instantly. Maybe that wasn't the bestidea. She'll probably just get more annoyed with me. "Alright I'llhelp," I say fast and Victoria walks angry away.

Guess this day can't become better.

I walk into the 'kitchen' where Brittany already is. "What do Ihave to do?" I ask. "Bread is on the table," she says laconic,"you can cut it in peaces." "Okay," I say and start doingwhat she said. Just like I expected it's just one big awkward silence.

"Did I do anything wrong?" I ask after a while, "did Isay anything wrong?" "No," Brittany says still laconic notlooking up from what she's doing, "I'm just freaking confused but you knowwhat, don't even worry about it." "So why do you ignore me?" Iask confused. "I'm confused of things YOU did and said," Brittanysays hitting the table with her fist. "What do you mean?" I saygetting a little angry, "I was just honest to you because you're 'alwaysabout being honest'," I imitate her, "and now it's my fault? BesidesI didn't do anything WE did something." "I wasn't myself thatevening," Brittany says angry turning around. "You wasn't drunk ifyou mean that," I say, "you didn't drink much and ate a lot thatevening." "HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW?" Brittany almost yells."MAYBE BECAUSE I PAY ATTENTION," I say loud back hitting with theback of the knife the table. "WHY DO YOU EVEN??" Brittany says."BECAUSE-," I start but I get cut of by the washroom door opening. Weboth stare to Jordan who walks out the washroom.

"Hi guys," she says a little confused and scared,"everything alright?" "Yea fine," Brittany says cool, calmand collected. "Totally," I say, a little less cool, calm andcollected. "You know," Jordan says to me, "I'll finish it.""Okay," I say in a gaze because of everything that's happening,"thank you," I get surprisingly out my mouth.

I lay down the knife that was in my hand, doing that I realise I had theknife pointed up right in the air. My hand feels sore from pinching in it sohard. I walk back to the backlounge leaving my mind in the 'kitchen'. What thehell is happening?