In the middle of nowhere

Back in the bus

Jordan pov

I think we're now around 30 minutes back on the road? Yea probablysomething around that. It's hard to guess because it is already feeling likemultiple hours. Things are just beyond weird. I'm pretty sure Briar is stillmad ad Victoria, so I think it's good that Victoria is mostly just layingsilent in her cubby. I doubt if she's awake. Brittany is sitting in thebacklounge, but when I saw her this morning she was avoiding eye contact witheveryone. Not something like her at all. Okay to be honest, I don't feel thatgreat either after what happened yesterday.

Thinking about this all now, this is just 4 of the 8 people. It willprobably just all be okay. Is it a coincidence that it are all girls? I thinkguys are just better at hiding it. Myles is probably hurting like crazy thatwe're back on the bus and he can't be around Briar all the time. Lamar lookedpretty of track yesterday, and I doubt if he feels better.

The boys are in the backlounge talking and laughing a little, on anormal volume for once, I'm so proud of them! I didn't knew they could do that.I'm sitting alone in the front lounge looking outside. The road is empty andbesides the road it's white of the snow. I really hope there's not going to bea snow storm. We'll drive through a part of Canada where snow storms are prettycommon. Of course we wouldn't drive here if it wasn't save, but we've food forlike two weeks. Would we ever be trapped in the snow for two weeks, then we'llat least not die. Besides that there's also some equipment so they'll always beable to track us.

Sounds kind of scary, but it's nothing to worry about. If it wasn'tsave, we wouldn't be driving here. Someone walks through the bus towards mewhich wakes me up out my gaze. "Hi," I say looking up seeing Lamar."Hi," he says and he sits down. It is silent for a while before hespeaks. "How are you doing?" he asks. "Good I guess," Isay, "I feel a little weird." Lamar nods understanding. "How didit even happen?" he asks. "I don't know," I say looking down onmy hands, "it was just fun until he got drunk, and then I learned thathe's pretty strong." Lamar points on a bruise on my forearm. I just nod.

"How are you doing?" I ask. "Weird," Lamar says,"definitely weird, I wasn't seeing that coming and I need some time toproceed it all I think." "Yea me too," I say, "can we talkabout it some other time?" "Of course," Lamar says, "justcome to me if there's something." He looks serious, he means it."Yea," I say, "yea of course, thank you so much again.""No problem," he says and stands up closes the door between the frontlounge and the rest of the bus and sits back down then.

He leans closer to me and start speaking just loud enough that I canhear it. "What's going on with Briar?" he asks. "Briar?" Isay, "what do you mean?" What is he talking about? This is not a goodmoment for anyone noticing something is wrong with Briar, it will probably ruineverything for them. "Yesterday in the club," Lamar says quietly,"I was sitting outside because I had a headache and then she came outsidecrying." I feel I'm getting red, I feel I'm getting red for Briar, whatdid he see? "Why would I know?" I ask. "Come on Jordan,"Lamar says, "lets be realistic, if there's something with anyone, you'rethe person they'll tell." It makes me smile as he says that.

"So do you know what's going on with Briar?" he asks again. Isigh. "Yes," I say. Now I'm really wondering why everyone would tellme if there's something with them, I'm a terrible liar and I'll end up tellingthe true revealing their secrets.

"And you also know about her and," he looks around to makesure that really nobody is hearing him, "Myles," he says then evenquieter. I nod. He really does know, but it doesn't seems like he's going to dosomething with it or tell anyone. "Don't worry," he says, "I'mnot going to tell anyone, but is Briar okay?" "She will be," Isay, "I don't know how long it will be, and being in this bus for the nextfew days will probably make it worse, but she'll be okay.""Hopefully," Lamar says.

Briar pov

I lay in my cubby. Actually, since I got back in the bus, that's allI've been doing, laying in my cubby. It feels like I'm waiting for something tohappen, but I've no idea what or when.

I'm cold. I feel a tear roll down over my cheek. I wish Myles was hereto keep me warm. Well, in fact he is here, but I can't just go over and curl upin his arms. Can I? No, stop it Briar, what are you thinking. I can't just dothat, I can't give it all up. Even though Victoria is extremely selfish, I'llruin everything. I don't want people to me mad at each other. I ... I ... I can'teven explain what I want, I'm just too messed up. I can't think straightanymore. It hurts, it hurts knowing you can't just get a hug from the personyou want a hug from without shaking things up.

Tears run like rivers over my cheeks now and I try to keep it quiet. Iturn to my stomach and press my face into my pillow.

I hear the guys laugh in the back lounge, I hear Brittany and Victoriahappily talk. Nobody can see me like this, I can't ruin their good mood.

I slowly calm down until there are no more tears coming. I turn to myside and fall asleep.