The Phoenixs lost beginning

She is ours

Exos

I felt Ash's pain radiating from him. That had to be a huge blow to him. To know that even his mate was questioning his loyalties. He had a hard life, one that no one should go through. His parents had raised him to be a monster made him a killer that even in my society would be feared by all. They gave him an uncontrollable blood lust. I was the only one who never questions who he is, apparently. I made sure I wouldn't let my mask slip to show her what I was feeling but she needed an answer. 

"That's a fair question, we would never betray you. Why would we want to betray our mate?" I stopped as all the color drained from her face. "Yes, we are aware of a lot of things. To be fair it's been all five us looking into you". How do I say this without triggering her fight or flight instincts. I would rather not have to ruin more of my house with unnecessary blood if I could help it. "We as in all of us are yours. The mate bond will be especially different with you. Seeing as you don't feel anything". That seemed like it was going great till I said the last part.

"O, I didn't realize I don't feel anything… hmm let me see. No. That can't be right, I'm feeling rather pissed off currently. You guys can't blow up on me about ruining your little pack and then come around claiming me. How can I trust you when all you do is turn s**t around like that" Mia seethed. I looked at her and immediately regretted it. She was wearing the bare minimum of clothes and those were my boxers almost falling off of her lithe frame. A pillow hit me upside the head dragging my attention back to Ash who looked more than willing to hit me again. I could concentrate properly as long as I didn't get caught up with her. She needs that, and we need her trust.

"Mia, he didn't mean it that way. Do you know what you are?" She shot him a questioning look with just enough interest to answer his. "Mia you're a phoenix but there is nothing ordinary about you. You are so much more than any others. Which leads up to what he just mentioned. Titus is a phoenix also, he says that the 'tattoos' you have are from killing people…"

"Wow it took you guys so long to come to that conclusion. A few years too late." She deadpanned. After a few seconds she tacked on "thanks though for telling me what I am, though I haven't been able to place it… wait what does my kill streak have to do with feeling?"

Asher shot me a look right before he shifted and cuddled up to her. I swear he shot me a grin because he could get close to her without her fighting him. She stroked his ear earning a deep purr breaking me back into my thoughts.

"Titus mentioned that depending on how you feel their souls would mark you in different colors. He said black means you basically don't feel anything. I-"

Her laughter interrupted the speech I had just prepared for. "Y-oouu take his word on that s**t. I feel s**t more than I like. I just don't care that their blood is on my hands. I'm sorry you guys think I'm your mate or even mate material. I've killed to protect or even in fury. Almost all of them are black doesn't matter how I felt at the moment, see" she pushed Ash off her lap and stood up and turned around to show her back. At first all I saw was unblemished skin then slowly all the marks appeared. I involuntarily took a step forward and ran my finger across some of them.

"s**t… he didn't tell us the full truth" I muttered under my breath. Asher perked up as she tensed. I had to continue to share so she would. "These aren't soul marks, they are death marks. The marks are creating a design. I think the design might be wings. Also looks like there is something else hiding that I can't quite pick out. You can't keep killing people like you did the other night. You're putting yourself at risk, it does make sense though why he said you couldn't feel. To be a deliverer of death would destroy even the strongest. So instead they take away your remorse and dull your other emotions. Fuckkk. You put yourself at too much risk going to the mobs fight club." I know I was rambling but everything was making sense and it wasn't looking pretty 

"Why are these five light green?" Asher asked as he switched his form, to trail his fingers along her marks. "They are so faint that you would actually have to look to see the designs marking who she killed... look Exos". I lifted my head to stare at where he was indicating and saw them as plain as day. They weren't flashy at all and looked like light bruises, hell if I couldn't make out the designs in it I would've thought that's exactly what they were. I nudged Ash's hand away as I traced the designs etched into her skin. Two were phoenixs, one had wings, one was a snowflake and the last was a horned head. I could figure out what most were pretty easily such as an angel, demon, obviously pheonixs but the last one threw me for a loop. 

"They meant something to you… but what? There is no way an angel and a demon would get close to the same child. What about your parents, where are they? They could answer all of this!" I was getting excited, how often is it that you get to unravel an intense mystery. Asher nudged me, not nicely like I had. I gave him a glare and he nodded his head to Mia. I looked up to see her trying to shut off her emotions. "Mia… do you know your parents?" 

She shook her head and I swear a dark cloud of emotions entered the room to start nesting. "No, I was found by myself in a neighborhood. I was abandoned and no one ever came looking as I was thrown around the foster system. I don't need them. They had their chance" the fury was heavy in her voice as she spoke. Apparently that's not a spot to poke.

"I'm sorry, look we've got you and I don't see myself or this knucklehead letting you go anytime soon. I'm going to do some research about what house you could belong to. Hopefully I can find something on what the colors actually mean… if that's something you are okay with?" She mumbled what sounded like a yes as she nodded her head. 

As I left I went straight to my phone which was charging in the spare room that practically belongs to Ash. I opened my messages that I shared with her beta Alex, even if she hasn't verbally appointed him that's what he is. We had been texting trying to pool our information together and shot a quick text letting him know we have her. I was going to do it earlier but his mate answered the phone and demanded answers after I had said that hunter's didn't have her. Then s**t went down and I might have forgotten about them. At least they will relax. I pulled up my contacts and clicked on 'Bird-brain' and called.

No answer. That's not good enough. I called again. This time on the second ring he picked up "I can't deal with whatever it is you're going to throw at me. We are practically at each other's throats in here. When can we see her? Look I understand why Asher is out there with her but I don't necessarily understand why you do you have to be. All of us know she's got something for the little fox after all she's flirting with him. I can make a connection that none of you can, so let me. It might make her feel more stable."

"I don't want any of you out here currently. I'm not opposed to letting you talk to her before the other two though but I want information in return. No lies or secrets. Do you think you can do that". I wasn't actually planning on letting him anywhere near her until she's ready but he doesn't have to know that. Don't blame me, I need answers and he's the only source I would have easy access too. What's the worst that can happen, after all I'm not keeping her from him just him from her.

"Anything! My bond isn't preordained like everyone else's. Everyone else is cutting me out of the picture because they thought I put her in danger as is. They are still a little pissed that I chose their mate as my own." He practically was pleading with me.

"Deal. I want all the information on the kill marks. Especially what each color means. Also I do have a very important question. How special would a person have to be to gain a color on a phoenix who supposedly has no feelings?" I rushed it out trying to stop him from demanding his part first. If he knew he wouldn't give me any information. 

"Those are very specific questions. You are aware I could be removed from society for giving answers. Look I'll answer as best as I can without betraying too much. You know I could talk about this freely with her"

"Stop" I interrupted. "I want the answers and you will give them, or you won't have a chance to see her before the others. I don't care about what kind of bond you have with her and how she 'can't' feel any of ours so she wouldn't be able to feel anything between you and her. Sucks to suck. Now talk".

"Fine, I'm not happy about this. I'm assuming this is all about Mia. So she does have some marks that show color. There are the main three colors and then a few offshoots depending on how prominent the emotions are depict how dark and light the colors appear. The more she feels towards the person she killed the lighter it will be. Which is why black is so dangerous, they don't feel anything about who they kill. Most become slaves that are used as assassins. So red is rage or protectiveness. Blue would be sadness or accidental.Yellow would depict confusion or fear. Is that enough, you already know I shouldn't be saying anything they could exile me for this shit."

"What about the other colors like say green?" I pressed.

"Ever heard of art class brother, it's not that hard. Feelings are messy and most people feel more than one when they take a life. So green would most likely mean she was confused and sad. It's that or she was scared and it was an accident. O and for your last question I've never heard of a black phoenix ever gaining a color. That's what she is, she's worse than the boogie man. I think she is going to need all of us to keep her alive and not someone's pet. I hope this is all you needed from me, at least for now. Can I talk to her, now? Or even better I could just walk into the room instead of being in a different room hiding from her like you demanded when you told all of us you had her”.

"I'm sorry, but the answer is no currently. We've finally got her talking to us. I'm not pushing her, though I will guarantee that on Monday I will drag her back to school where all of you can try to get in her good graces. Good night Titus". I hung up the phone without waiting for a response. Now to find everything I could about the black phoenixs, he gave me all the information he could by telling me what they call those that can kill without remorse. Also, I need to figure out what species kill mark would be a snowflake. The hardest one to research yet to research would be the wings that the marks are making up. One looks like an angel while the other could be part of one of the old demonic families crest. Those books always seem to drag people's secrets out. I couldn't give up Mias especially since they are all guesses. Which could prove more deadly than the truth would.

Better start my research in my library. I leave Ash's room. No need to leave any form of note for him because if he gets what he wants he'll be sleeping in my bed with my mate in any way possible. I walked past my room seeing the few maids that survived the attack many years ago changing my bedding to clean unbloodied sheets. I continued on and held my breath as the tears threatened to come. I took a deep breath and pushed open the door to my mother's library. No matter how many times they cleaned in here I could still smell her perfume and see the blood staining her favorite chair. I felt the tears sliding down my cheek before it dawned on me that I was crying. Mum died here when we were attacked… she died hiding her most valuable items. The little boys who she shoved behind the wall when the screams started up. She had moved her seat to block mine and Ashers view or their view of our hiding spot as they stole her life. It's too much, I wasn't ready to deal with it yet. I started walking towards the door unable to take my eyes off the chair relieving the screams and blood and my mother calling out for me to stay quiet and hidden in our demonic language that the silly humans couldn't understand. I stumbled a little and a lair of warm hands landed on my shoulders to steady me. I turned around to see Ash's face full of pain and misery. He clearly remembered the day they stormed my home and tainted it. I didn't want to look into her eyes. I didn't want the pity that everyone gives. I just wanted to leave. Ash backed up a step sensing what I needed. Mia took a step closer and grabbed my face forcing me to look at her. I saw no pity in her eyes, only a form of understanding and pain. She pulled me into a hug and opened her arm for Ash to join in. We sank to the floor, her holding us both as we lost ourselves in the memories of that night. I will make it tomorrow. I have too if not there will probably be another slaughter. I can't let them take my mate as they did my mother. Nothing like that'll ever happen to me again. Resolve tightened in my chest. I would do anything to protect my new family in honor of the ones who lost their life last time.