A Flirty Dozen

Love Found on Lindisfarne-2

A couple of hours later, the meal—a plain, hearty stew of meat and vegetables that, wonder of wonders, Kelis hadn’t turned her nose up at—was long over, and we were relaxing around the fire as darkness fell, mugs in our hands. Tea for me, and mead for the lucky ones who didn’t have to drive back over to the mainland later. Ian and I had been sitting side by side the whole time, our shoulders brushing as we ate and drank. I felt ridiculously happy.

Balder and some of the others had been entertaining us with tales of events they’d been to in the past. I got the feeling they’d all heard these stories plenty of times before, but were content to hear them again. The oral tradition, still alive and well in this little enclave of old Norse enthusiasts.

As the laughter died down after the end of his latest saga, Balder looked over to Ian, who apart from the odd murmured comment to me had been pretty quiet until now.

“Hey, Ulf! Tell ‘em about the time you licked a monk!”

Ian buried his head in his hands, then looked up again with a pained smile. “It was last year. We had a lot of new people in the group, all right? Anyway, I was all in character, doing the berserker thing, hamming it up a bit for the crowds—Balder here was pretending to hold me back, all that sort of stuff—and this man dressed up as a monk walked past. So I thought I’d have a bit of fun, and I went for him and licked him all up the side of his face.”

I grinned. “As you do.”

“Course, then Balder tells me all of our monks were over by the tents. This one was a real monk. One of the ones from the monastery here. Brother Dominic, his name was. He was all right about it, though. After he got over the shock.”

“Did he taste particularly holy?” I asked.

“More like garlic, I think.”

We shared a glance that seemed a bit more intimate than his words strictly called for, and suddenly the fire seemed a lot warmer. We were interrupted at that point by Kelis and Chloe, who’d kept going like little dynamos. Chloe’s brother, Jack, had long since fallen asleep on his grandmother’s lap and been carted off to bed in a tent. Chloe ran up to Balder and tugged on his arm. “Grampy, can Kelis read my story?”

“Course she can. If she wants to. Do you want to, young lady?”

Kelis nodded. “Is that all right, Dad? Chloe’s got this special book for when she’s a Viking. It’s got stories about Thor and Loki in it. And wolves and giants and a really big snake.”

My palms itched a bit at the thought of her reading a book I hadn’t vetted, but I supposed if it was a version of the myths deemed suitable for six-year-old Chloe, Kelis would probably come through the experience unscathed. After all, she was twelve. Old enough to get married and have her own kids if we lived in Viking times, which, thank the deity or deities of your choosing, we didn’t. “All right.”

Her brown hand was firmly grasped by a doll-like white one, and they scampered off together.

“I think Kelis is going to be pestering me for a little sister after this,” I said ruefully.

Ian smiled. “She could do worse than Chloe. They’re both great kids, her and Jack.”

“You see a lot of them?”

He nodded. “Their mum and dad aren’t into the re-enactment, but the kids love coming away with Kevin and Sharon and dressing up.”

A while later, Sharon beckoned me over. “Come and look.” She led me to the large tent they were sharing with their grandchildren, put her finger to her lips and pulled back the tent flap.

Kelis was lying in a nest of woollen blankets, snuggled up next to Chloe. They were both fast asleep. Jack was snoring softly on the other side of the tent.

“I guess last night’s finally caught up with her,” I said softly.

“Had a bad one, did she?” Sharon let the tent flap fall.

I nodded as we turned back. “She gets bad dreams sometimes.”

“Oh, dear. I’m afraid she might have some new material from that book of Chloe’s. It’s got Frost Giants and the Midgard Serpent and all sorts in it.”

“No, she’ll be fine with that. Kelis never dreams about monsters.”

Sharon didn’t ask for any further details, just patted my arm.

As we returned to the fire, Ian rose. “Thought I’d go and stretch my legs a bit before I turn in. Want to join me?”

I nodded, my mouth suddenly dry. Sharon gave me a glance and a smile, but thankfully all she said was, “Have a nice walk, then. I’ll keep an eye out in case your little girl wakes up.”

“Must be hard, having to get a babysitter every time you want a night out,” Ian said as we strolled across the grass to the priory gate.

“Ah, but I’ve come up with the perfect solution. Just don’t go out. Never let it be said that having no life doesn’t have its upside.”

Ian laughed. “I don’t believe that for a moment. Bloke like you?”

“Geek like me, you mean.”

“Don’t sell yourself short.” He paused. “I wouldn’t call you a geek.”

“No? What would you call me? Or am I better off not knowing?” We reached the priory gate and walked through, then took a sharp turn to go across the field towards the nearest beach—one I’d unaccountably failed to mention to Kelis the previous day. It was pitch dark by this point, save for the full moon overhead which gave just enough cool light to see our way by.

“Well, for starters, you’re a great dad.”

It left a sour taste in my mouth. “I’ve got a lot of lost time to make up for.”

“How’s that? Didn’t you have joint custody of Kelis, before her mum died?”

“No. Actually…” I took a deep breath. “I didn’t even meet Kelis until after Shandi died.”

“Seriously? How come—didn’t you know about her?”

I hoped he wasn’t going to hate me after what I said next. “I knew about her soon after she was born. Shandi wrote to me, and she said she was going to have to put my name down for the Child Support forms, but she didn’t want me involved with her baby. That’s how she put it—her baby. And…” I stared at the ground. “I was still in university. No money. Not the first clue about kids, and I was just starting to realise I wasn’t as straight as I’d thought I was. And not coping very well. It…she made it so easy for me to just say, okay, we’ll do it your way. I told myself it’d be better for Kelis, even. Not to have to cope with awkward visits from a clueless dad she didn’t know, and who didn’t even really know her mum. And it meant I didn’t have to tell my parents about her, which seemed really important at the time.” God, I’d been so immature.

“You shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. Plenty of blokes would have done the same. You were barely out of school. And she didn’t want you involved.” He paused. “How’d it work out? Was she a good mum to Kelis?”

“Kelis loved her. She was the sort of mum…well, you know how little girls want to grow up to be fairy princesses? She was a bit like that. Always dressed in big, floaty skirts, and wearing rings on her toes. She jangled when she danced, Kelis said, because of all her bracelets.” I stared up at the stars. “She was the sort of mum who doesn’t worry about it being a school day if the sun’s shining. Or practical stuff, like whether there’s any food in the house, or anyone to babysit.”

My heart pounded uncomfortably. This was the part I never told anyone. Well, anyone who wasn’t involved with Kelis’s education or welfare. “When she died Kelis was underweight, neglected…She had nightmares every night when she came to me, wet the bed, the works. Shandi used to leave her on her own whenever she wanted to go out and have fun, and half the time she was with her she was off her head on drugs—that was what killed her in the end. She didn’t give Kelis proper meals, and God, the people she hung around with…Anything could have happened to Kelis, and Shandi wouldn’t even have known about it.”

“Hey.” Ian wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close. We’d crested a small hill now, and were heading down towards the small beach. Out on the water, fishing boats were just visible, bobbing at their moorings. “Just means you must be an even better dad than I thought. You’ve done a great job with her. She’s a bright, happy kid now.”

“She still has her moments—bad dreams, incidents at school.” I leaned into him, drawing strength from his solid presence. “She was with her mum’s body for two days before the neighbours got the police to break in. They found Kelis cuddled up next to the body, trying to eat uncooked pasta because it was the only food in the house. I think…I think Shandi had told her not to ask anyone for help, ever. Because of the drugs.”

“God, I’m sorry.”

I leaned away from him and scrubbed my hands over my face. “Me, too. Sorry. This really wasn’t what you signed up for, was it? All this heavy stuff.” I dredged up a smile. Summer flings were supposed to be kept light, weren’t they? Just a bit of fun, with someone you’d never see again.

Why did that thought feel all wrong for me and Ian?

Ian was smiling, his teeth white in the moonlight and his dreads casting eerie shadows on his face. “Maybe I like to hear all the heavy stuff. Tells me where you’re coming from,” he said, and kissed me.

He tasted of tobacco and outdoor living, and his soft beard stroked my face. The beads in it tickled as they danced on my neck. I slipped my arms around his waist, where his woollen tunic bagged out over his thick leather belt, and pulled him closer, pressing our bodies together. I was pretty sure he could tell how into him I was. Even through all the layers of clothes, I could tell he was pretty interested, too.

After a breathless few minutes, we drew apart about a millimetre or so. My heart was pounding and my head felt light. “Is that a broadsword in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?”

Ian laughed. He sounded giddy as well. “If you’re expecting a broadsword, it’s only fair to warn you, you might be a bit disappointed.”

“That’s okay. I’ve always been more of a dagger man myself.” I couldn’t stop myself from pressing my groin against his. God, he felt good. We were pretty even on height—okay, maybe he was just an inch taller—and I liked that. I liked it a lot. I kissed him again, and his hand dropped down to squeeze my arse.

Trying to return the favour, I felt at a distinct disadvantage. Under the tunic, Ian wore a linen undershirt that hung over his trousers almost to the knees. “God, how do you even get into all these clothes?”

“Want me to show you how I get out of them?”

“Here?” It was crazy. We were out in the open. Anyone could come along and see…and see what? Vague shapes in the darkness, if that.

“Well, we could go back to my tent if you’d rather. But I guarantee you if we do that, every single person in camp is going to know exactly what we’re up to.”

“Here is good,” I managed hoarsely.

Ian stepped back and fumbled with his belt. A moment later I heard it hit the stones at our feet, and then he pulled his tunic and undershirt off in one fluid motion. He laid them down on the ground and grabbed hold of me again. “Your turn now.”

The skin of his chest was warm under my hands, with a soft down of hair. His flesh was firm, well-muscled, with the scent of honest sweat. I was still exploring when he grasped my wrists. “What?”

“Fair’s fair. Time you got some of that kit off.”

Thank God for darkness, I thought as I stripped off my shirt and let it fall on top of his. I still felt far too visible in the moonlight. Maybe I should start actually using that expensive gym membership a bit more often.

Then Ian pulled me to him, and all I could think of was the way my skin seemed to crackle where it touched his. This time when we kissed it was hungrier, more intimate. His tongue plundered my mouth as his hands laid claim to my flesh. God, I needed him. Needed more. I shoved my hands down the back of his baggy, drawstring trousers, grabbing handfuls of firm muscle as I ground our erections together.

“God…” Ian broke the kiss to pant against my neck, his hot breath turning me on even more. “You’re driving me f*****g crazy.”

I could hardly believe he wanted me this much. As much as I wanted him. Driving him crazy? I was delirious, drunk on his need for me. “Don’t worry,” I gasped. “It’s mutual.” I rubbed up against him one last time, then backed off just far enough to get at the front of his trousers. I fumbled in vain with the knot of the drawstring while Ian managed to get my jeans undone and my c**k freed in short order. His cool, rough-skinned hand wrapped around my overheated flesh and I groaned in relief. “You need to—f**k!”

Ian had dropped to his knees and plunged his mouth over my erection. He swallowed me down further than I’d have thought possible, then drew back to suck on the tip, his lips wringing pleasure from me in crescendoing waves. When he tongued the sensitive spot just under the head I almost came there and then. I reached out blindly for him, and my fingers tangled in his dreads. It took all I had not to tug at them, not to shove myself further into his mouth.

He pulled off me for a moment, and I let out a small sound that might, just possibly, have been described as a whimper. Ian smiled. “Hey, I’ll get back to it. Just wanted to say, you can be a bit rough, if you like. I don’t mind. Sort of like it, actually.”

I stared at him. “God, are you real?” It came out breathy and broken. I didn’t care.

“Could pinch you, if you like. Or, you know, I could go back to what I was doing…”

“That. Definitely,” I babbled, daring to push his head gently back in the direction of my c**k.

He didn’t resist, just opened his lips wide and swallowed me down. I groaned, then started to thrust, taking his mouth. Ian responded by rolling my balls in one hand and fingering my perineum. It was so f*****g good. It took a moment to realise he had his c**k out of his trousers and was jerking himself vigorously. I tried hard to hold onto the shreds of my control, but in the end I lost it completely, bucking into his mouth, holding his hair with one hand while I tried to muffle my cries with the other.

Pressure was building like an electrical storm at the base of my spine, my balls so tight they were about to burst. “Going to…” I tried to pull away from Ian, but he was having none of it and I came in his mouth, lightning pleasure shooting through my body and out through my c**k.

As I stood there fizzing with the aftershocks, Ian grunted and climaxed, spurting out onto the pebbles at our feet.

“Well done on missing the shirts,” I said shakily, still struggling to draw breath.

“I aim to please.”

“Trust me, you did. Please, I mean.” I helped him up to his feet and, finding him in my arms, kissed him. I could taste myself on his lips, the bitter salt flavour mingled with his own natural taste, a heady melange that made me hunger for more. Our kisses were deeper now, but slower, all urgency gone and only a sense of connection remaining. Even our bodies seemed to fit together more closely, more naturally. I didn’t want to let him go.

We couldn’t stay there on the beach forever, though. Much as I’d have liked to. In the end I mustered the willpower to pull away from him and bent down to retrieve our shirts. “Better get back,” I said, handing him his clothes before shrugging on my shirt.

“S’pose so.” Ian’s voice held a hint of a sigh as he pulled on his tunic.

We walked slowly back along the beach and over the field. Back to the priory, back to the world. As we reached the priory gate, Ian paused with a hand on my arm. “You know, there’s plenty of room in my tent for one more.”

I wanted to. God, I wanted to. But—”I’m sorry. I’ve got to go. The tide will be down now, so I need to get Kelis and take her back to the cottage.” Something inside my chest was twisted up tight, and my shoulders slumped. But I had to think of Kelis.

Ian looked away for a moment. Then he nodded. “It’s okay. I get it. She’s your daughter. She ought to be the most important person in your life.” He took a breath. “Have you got a phone?”

“Uh, yes?”

“Let me give you my number.”

I handed my phone over and watched him tap in his digits with a curious fluttering in my stomach.

It’d be crazy to call him, I knew that. Long distance relationships never worked—and anyway, wasn’t he everything I’d sworn to stay away from, with his hippy looks and nomadic lifestyle?

“Call me,” he said, and I nodded, not sure if I lied.

I shook Kelis awake gently. She was still half asleep as she tucked the blankets back around Chloe, and stumbled out of the tent with me. We said quiet goodbyes to Balder and Sharon, and took the short walk back to the outskirts of the village, where our car stood in splendid isolation in the middle of the visitors’ car park.

As we drove back along the causeway, the moon was still bright. The tall poles marking the pilgrim’s way, the footpath across to the island that ran more-or-less parallel to the road for much of its route, stood proud and lonely. God, was I doing the right thing?

I couldn’t stop thinking about Ian. I could have been with him right now, lying down to sleep in his tent. Hard ground beneath us, and a cocoon of rough woollen blankets—and each other—to keep us warm. But wasn’t it better to keep a fond memory of a holiday fling, rather than try for something more that was bound to fail? A one-night stand was one thing. Trusting him with my heart—and Kelis’s—was another thing altogether.

I’d made the sensible decision. I knew that.

So what if the ache in my chest and the emptiness of my arms were telling me I was making the second biggest mistake of my life?