Trigger

16

“I guess I really can’t trust anyone,” she sighed, looking at the ground. Trigg glanced at her in surprise.

“How so?”

“I thought that guy was okay. Like, really. I thought he was a bit weird, but I never dreamed he’d try to hurt me. I can’t trust my own judgment at all.”

Trigg reached out, and this time he did touch her, putting an arm around her shoulders. She leaned against him.

“My parents were seldom interested in me after my mother entered politics. They didn't pay much attention to me unless there were cameras or influential people around. The thing I really remember about my childhood is loneliness. It made me desperate for attention, so I trusted everyone I met.”

She let out a painful sigh, her chest feeling tight as if blades cut her heart with every breath. “I should have learned my lesson by now,” she said. “I can’t trust anyone. When I do, I get hurt.”

She looked up into Trigg’s face, and she saw an expression she didn’t understand. His eyes were full of emotion, but his facial expression was blank.

“I can’t believe anyone ever hurt you,” he whispered. She blinked back tears. She felt closer to him than she’d ever felt to anyone, ever.

He briefly tightened his arm around her shoulders, and she leaned into him. She was desperate for comfort even after what she had just said. She felt safe with Trigg, and that was the truth.

I really do have a f****d-up brain. He’s the most dangerous creature I’ve ever seen, and I want to snuggle with him!

Trigg’s arm dropped from her shoulder, and he gestured to the trees with a tilt of his head.

“We should get moving,” he said curtly. He shifted, and she picked up his long coat.

They started at a jog and eventually slowed to a brisk walk that Stormy found easy to maintain. The day slipped by, the sun moving overhead until the sun’s rays slanted from the opposite direction, throwing long shadows at their feet. As the darkness fell, Snowflake paused by a small thicket that was deep in a circle of strong trees.

We’ll camp here, he said. Light a fire, and I’ll grab some food.

Before she could speak, he bounded off into the woods. She sighed, shaking her head while she found a few dry twigs and concentrated on getting them lit. She had some good flames going by the time Snowflake returned with the rabbits.

He helped to clean them, and they spitted the meat over the fire, talking idly about the beauty of the mountains and the weather. She wanted to ask how much longer they would be in the wilderness, but, in a way, she didn’t want to know.

She wanted to stay out here with Trigg forever. All the uncomfortable things about hiding out in the forest were becoming second nature, far more preferable than dealing with society and all its complications. She had become so irritated with people; she certainly didn’t miss the crowds.

She enjoyed her small chunks of roasted rabbit immensely. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world to eat this way instead of buying something from a supermarket that was mass killed and wrapped in plastic. She was in touch with a primal side of herself she had never known existed, and she loved it.

I never want to let this go.

As they prepared for sleep, Trigg shifted back into his wolf shape.

I want you to put the backpack there, he whispered to her with the magic of his mind. Use it as a pillow. Then wrap my big coat around you.

She nodded, slipping into the tiny hollow under the branches. She pounded the pack with her fist a little before resting her head against it and wrapping herself in the coat and blanket.

Snowflake crept up on his massive, soft paws. He turned in a circle, lying down, so he was curled up against her as tightly as possible. She wrapped one arm around him.

Her eyes began to close, a heavy weight falling over her. She expected the wolf to put his head down on his paws and sleep, but he kept his head high, and his ears pricked up to her surprise.

She realized he was on high alert, and even though he was relaxed, he wasn’t going to sleep. He was going to keep guard over her all night.

She smiled, tightening her arm around him. She had never felt so safe. She felt a tremor run through him, and she wondered how he felt, specifically, how he felt about her.

She couldn’t imagine her life without him. She didn’t want the adventure to ever end because then she’d have to say goodbye to him. She didn’t know if she could do that.

But what if I’m just a job for him? What if he really doesn’t care?

She closed her eyes against the awful thought. He seemed caring and attentive, but he was like this on every mission for all she knew. She felt something between them, but maybe she only saw it because she wanted to. The old panic rose in her.

I can’t trust anyone ... He has saved my life. He acts like he cares for me. But …

Stormy screwed her eyes shut and hugged Snowflake tightly. She heard him sigh in contentment as he leaned his big furry body against hers. This moment was perfect. She was closer to him than she had been to any living being her whole life. She vowed to enjoy the moment as long as it lasted.

It was inevitable that the future would take him away from her, and she just couldn’t face that.