Mate by Fate?

Chapter one

I'm Rose; if I'm being honest, that's not what everyone calls me. I call myself Rose because it's my only memory as a pup moving around in a bed of roses and cutting my nose on its thorns; at first, I only remembered the smell. Then, as I opened my eyes, my nose led me straight to a rose. Roses are beautiful, and a part of me feels hate towards something so beautiful.

I don't have parents; my alpha found me in a bed of roses. When my new pack saw me, they said I was starved and practically dying. Our alpha hesitated to take me in, but one of the mother wolves had lost a child and refused to shift back into a human. He spared my life in hopes of healing one of his pack members. He introduced me to the wolf I call mother; she never turned back into a human and raised me as a wolf.

The pack was always uneasy with me; they said I was born a pup and not human. Being born as a werewolf is unnatural; some believe it's because of a curse. Honestly, I don't know why I was born a pup. I finally shifted around the age of a human, appearing around eleven. My mother wolf stood by my side, but learning to speak and walk was difficult.

I remember crying to her because I didn't understand the disconnection with my pack; even in wolf form, none would get near me. I finally learned to speak and mimicked hygiene rituals. I tried to be accepted. It was no use; no one but Mother Wolf cared for me. Our alpha never talked to me; he regretted taking me in. Whoever mother wolf was to him, it must've been special for him to keep me despite the pack's approval.

I know my mother wolf wants nothing more than to see me happy, and I promised myself that once the moon blessed me with my fated mate, I would gladly join his pack and take Mother Wolf with me. In packs, it's common to feel what the alpha is feeling, even thinking. I wasn't accepted because I relied on Mother Wolf for directions. The pack wouldn't remain in wolf form for the most part. They'd shift into their human form and live amongst people. I never left the woods; I couldn't find the courage. Also, I never wanted to abandon Mother Wolf; I feel like she would die if she were alone.

The woods felt like home, and the wilderness was so much fun. I could shift and run and play with Mother and other animals. I was strange to them, I think, because they'd see me change to my human form sometimes. When I'm in human form, Mother Wolf always seems so happy. I think it is because she wants me to live amongst the people. I can't bring myself to leave her. The pack always stays at a specific spot in the forest. They shift and train together as a pack. I tend to fall back and watch how cool they look. Sometimes, I wish they would allow me to run amongst them, but they only let Mommah. To avoid Mother having to fight, I hunt on my own.

Nights have been so hard lately; I've heard other moms talk to their daughters about it. I think I'll be bleeding soon; you will likely find your mate when that happens. I hope so. I hunger to be held and touched. Sometimes, I throw myself into the cold river at night to soothe this overwhelming heat that burns inside me. I hate it so much that I want to touch myself all over. I never do because I know it won't be enough; I want my mate… I need him so bad, and I know he's out there. Come on, moon, I've never asked for much; please lead him to me.

The night was beautiful. I couldn't stop looking at the moon; it was so big, bright, and beautiful. Mommah sat beside me; her brown coat looked almost black at night. Mommah had beautiful eyes, baby blue like the sky on a summer day; she wasn't as large as many other female wolves I'd seen from our pack. I always wondered how she looked in human form; as wolves, everything is more about feelings. Mommah always gave me a sense of peace and joy; in moments, I also felt hurt and pain. I used to blame myself for not being able to heal her, but I think if I learned anything from Mom, sometimes we hold on to pain on purpose. Maybe so we won't forget something or someone. I guess that's why I call myself Rose, to remind myself of where I was left. Even if it hurts knowing I was left there… it's okay.

We sat together enjoying the night when I noticed a smell. The smell was strange, not from our own; I looked at Mommah, wondering if she smelt it too. Mommah was already on all four, trailing the scent with her nose. I did the same; she slowly began to walk toward the dark area behind the trees. I couldn't see anything and wasn't sure why she behaved this way. We had never been in a threatening situation. Our territory was always safe. I could feel Mommah; she was scared and alert. I tried to understand, but I was so afraid.

That's when I saw their eyes, just behind the shadows—hiding from the moonlight. They stared me and Mommah down; I urged Mommah to run with me. There are so many; we can't win, and we'll die if we attack. Mommah's heart raced faster, and I realized the pack began growling at Mommmah. I stood there with her and roared back, even though I feared what was to come of this.

Everything happened so fast; I remember seeing the pack rush us. I attacked one of the wolves that pounced at my mom's neck. I bit down hard and didn't let go; I felt bites all over my body, causing me to cry in pain. I could hear my momma's cries, too. Blood rushed down my eyes; I couldn't see what was happening. I kept my bite strong and didn't let go; if I die, I'm taking you with me, I thought. The wolf tossed me so hard I slammed into the ground, taking pieces of his skin and coat in my mouth. I tried getting up, but I couldn't. Then, at that very moment, a familiar smell surrounded me; our pack did show up. I could hear the cries of the wolves that attacked us, and their scent fainted as they ran off and escaped.

My head was spinning; my body wouldn't shift for some reason. My wolf was holding on to me. I couldn't see anything. My eyes shut from the dirt and blood. I tried everything I could to get up before finally collapsing into a deep sleep.

I woke up still in my wolf; I still couldn't see, so I began to use my paw to scrape what I could from my eyes. There was a heavy smell of blood in the air, mostly mine.

Oh, Mom! Where is my mother wolf?

I searched and searched; I picked up her scent and followed it to the gated manor in the forest. Two men were at the gate, part of my pack. They looked at me and then glanced at each other. "Hey, um.. we can't let you in; it's not a good time." The second guy that looked dummer than the other followed that with a "you should clean yourself up and come back later." Fkn pricks, I wanted to bite them so severely, but I walked away. I'm not surprised that they didn't let me in. I knew the pack never considered me one of theirs, but I thought things changed because of what happened. I guess I was wrong. I was finally able to shift into my human form. I soaked myself in the river, wondering when Mommah was coming back. I miss her so much, and I was so worried about her. I hope she's okay. Guilt crept into me; thoughts like Why was I so weak? If I were strong, this wouldn't have happened. I couldn't eat. It was dark now, and still no mom. I must go back; I shifted into my wolf and returned to the gate. The two dumbasses were still there…great. The overly fed, tall one brushed his hair nervously. "Look, umm, I hate to be the one to tell you, but your mom is dead." I couldn't make it out well, but the second guy said, "So don't come back." What the f**k is wrong with them? My entire life felt so empty; my mom was dead! I whimpered away into the lonely forest, hurt and alone. I cried and howled all night, my wolf keeping me from leaping into a quick death. Mommah, why is this happening? Why don't we get a happy ending?

My throat hurt from the howling, and my eyes sore from crying. I shifted into human form and just collapsed to the ground. The bites and bruises were still visible in my mortal flesh; it took longer than usual to heal, maybe because of lack of rest and food. I don't understand why this has to happen.

The curse must be real because there's no other explanation. I have no one left… no one. The Moon's light seemed to burn me through the night; I couldn't help but curse at it! How could you take her from me? She was all I had. I held my hair a tangled mess, my skin bruised and scared. I hated myself in human form; I was not too fond of the cold air that would reach my skin and give me goosebumps. I never wore clothes because I mostly lived in wolf form. It had been years since the pack saw me. I don't want to get teased. I was so different from the wolf girls in the pack. They were beautiful, lean, and blond, with blue eyes like Mommah's. I only saw myself through the river's reflection and had yellow-amber eyes. My skin wasn't dark but not milky like theirs; my skin looked similar to honey. My hair was dark brown, not short and blonde. I tried to cut it once, but that was a complete disaster. I left it alone. Now it's past my waist and curls in the ends but waves at the top. I also noticed how tall and beautiful their bodies were. I was smaller, my legs fuller, and my eyes and lips were more prominent. My breasts were not as big as some of theirs, but I still had some. Regardless, whenever I would tell myself to go down there and introduce myself, I felt ugly and different. Who would want to be with me, the cursed lone wolf?