One Fallen Snowflake

Part 1

Pure white flakes drifted down from the violet hued night sky.

The unique crystallized forms caught the wisps of wind gracefully as they whipped and circled about in their descent. Serene like the calm mountain aquifers, they fluttered from the sea of clouds and gently made rest across the city landscape.

They clung protectively to the buildings of the city. The tall proud edifices twinkled in the nightly skyline and exuded an aura of intellect and deep, well established family roots.

From the grand windows of these manmade mountains, if one took the time to peer out the glass, they could see the flurries of wintry white swirl in the wind. Unfortunately, the magic of Nature’s most beautiful creation was lost to the forever busy workers inside the steel buildings. More concerned with deadlines and earning promotions above all else.  

So without anyone to take notice and marvel in their beauty, the snowflakes drifted onto the city streets. They lined the sidewalks in a white powdered innocence only to be darkened by the splash of gravel and dirt as cars darted past, their black wheels churning through the freshly fallen snow.

Nonetheless, the gentle snowflakes continued to flutter down to the Earth with no thought as to what would befall them once they reached their final destination.

Nor did they discriminate upon where they fell or who they chose to give a chilly kiss too.  

It was a simple matter to them.

Fall and gather…cloak the world in a blanket of white.

As he stared up at the illuminated mauve tinted sky, Eric blinked as one of the frozen snowflakes landed on his elongated eyelashes. However, he didn’t lift a hand to swipe it away as one would expectedly react upon feeling an irritant fly into the eye. Instead he continued to lie there on the bed of snow, dark ebony irises stared up at the midnight sky as the hum of traffic trumpeted through the city streets and blared into his ears.

Oddly his body felt incredibly disconnected from his consciousness as he lay there, unable to get up. The ability to even roll over proved too much for his energy depleted self. All he could do was simply lie there on the bed of snow, one hand applied as much pressure as it could to his gunshot wound while the other remained by his side resting on the covered asphalt.

 For the second time since the bullet had ripped into him, Eric wondered why it was that everything seemed so tranquil and calm.

He didn’t feel the cold…or any pain.

No…he didn’t feel anything like that—but he probably should have.

It’s what made people human after all. The ability to feel and experience different sets of emotion.

Was this what dying felt like?

It must be.

A block away from where he had parked his cruiser, Eric coughed and wheezed. His chest laboriously rose and fell as he took in a shaky breath and turned his head slowly away from the sky to instead gaze at the body a couple meters away.

In the end…he didn’t have any regrets about what he’d done.

There was no doubt in his mind.

He had done right.

He was positive his Unit would soon show up at the scene—and with the capture of Dustan Kirk, Matt would finally be able to find his sister along with the other unfortunate young women this man had been responsible for taking.

Yes...in the end…he had done well.

Even though this might just be the tip of the iceberg, he was proud of himself for playing such a vital part in the infiltration of the trafficking syndicate.

It meant he had saved hundreds of innocent lives…future wives and mothers…

They could all live a happy and complete life. Get married, have children and flourish.

A sigh left his chapped lips. The warm breath of air clouded in front of his face before dispersing in front of his eyes.

In retrospect, he probably should have taken that bulletproof vest from the equipment room.

It was a slight miscalculation on his part.

He honestly didn’t think Dustan was desperate enough to shoot at him. Not when he was caught so perfectly with evidence stacked sky high against him. It was a moment of mania that ensnared the gangbanger. Nothing else could explain his actions other than that. The floor beneath him was crumbling where he stood and the police force was just a hairsbreadth away from clasping the shackles around his wrists.

He had been perfectly cornered with nowhere to run.

Ratted out by his own men, it was only practical he’d want revenge and come with them willingly, with a chance at a lighter sentence if he worked together with the police and dropped the names of the people pulling the strings above him.

Eric sighed again and winced when a small movement on his part made the first stabs of pain echo through his limbs and sternum. Evidently, the shock factor was wearing off. He swallowed thickly, feeling the metal tang of blood rise up his throat as he did so.

It was unnerving—that taste of blood in his mouth—the precursor of what was to follow…

Soon he would probably be blinded with pain. The piercing agony of severed nerves and muscle would most likely assault him all at once—might even knock him out with the severity.  

He shuddered at the grotesque thought. Eric hoped that instead consciousness would leave him before any of that had a chance to occur. With the weather being as it was, he had good odds. The cold might just be enough to numb his body to the point where he felt nothing.

It was a tempting ideation.  

Sluggishly he turned his head back to the sky and stared out into the wide space, wondering if god just might grace him with just a small, tiny wish before he died.

There was something he wanted to do…something he needed to desperately say now that he was sure he was dying.

He’d been a coward all this time.

He knew that.

On the outside one would never assume that Lieutenant Eric Grey was a coward at heart.

After all—he did everything in his power to cover up that fact.

He made sure to excel and do his best at whatever task was given him. He was loyal without fault. He cared deeply about his friends and never hid that truth.

Everything thrown at him…he did with enthusiasm.

Because…

Because…no one could ever know what a coward he was inside.

Lying there on the asphalt covered in snow, in an alley obscured by the buildings and trees covered with freshly fallen snow, Eric shakily drew in breath and closed his eyes. He brought to mind the face of the man he loved so much but was too scared to admit.

“Eric!” Matt smiled and patted him on the shoulder as he put a cup of coffee on his desk. “You coming with us for drinks later tonight, right?”

“…I have to finish these papers, Matt.” Eric sighed despondently, knowing he’d be at the desk for half the night if he decided to let himself be swayed by Matt's tempting words.

“Oh c’mon!” Matt jokingly began to whine as he threw the slighter older officer a childish look. “I haven’t had a chance to let loose in ages! Let’s go drink like old times!”

“But th—”

“Please, Eric.” Matt squeezed his shoulders and smiled brightly at him. “For me, please?”

Unable to deny him anything when asked so sincerely, Eric swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. If he could be with Matt, then spending the night at his desk was worth it. “…okay…”

~

“Nick is dead once I get my hands on him.” Matt growled whilst looking at his favorite coffee mug, broken beyond a hope of repair. “Look at this!”

“I’ll get you another one,” Eric said softly, feeling his own heart twinge at seeing the mug he’d bought with his first paycheck shattered. It had been a gift for Matt when they first entered the academy. And it wasn’t the old run of the mill type of mug either. It had been an expensive one, imported from Italy. “It was old anyway.”

“But I loved it!”

“You’ll like the new one too,” Eric smiled reassuringly and gently punched his pouting best friend in the shoulder. “I promise I’ll get you one even better.”

“Yah,” Matt whined, furrowing his eyebrows as he was custom to do when upset. “That’s not the point! You got me this when we first entered the police force! It’s not just a mug! It’s a memento!” He glumly sputtered and then savagely turned his head to the younger officers now sitting at their desks, noses to the mountains of stacked paper. “I swear when Nick gets here…I’m gonna break his face and make him glue every piece back together again!”

Eric let out a laugh, his hand habitually came up to hide his mouth as his eyes crinkled at the sides.

“Maybe a few nightly stakeouts on top of that would even out the punishment,” Matt muttered forlornly as he stared at his cup. “Greasy prick…”

“You love him.” Eric grinned.

“Not right now I don’t,” Matt grumbled darkly.

~

“Argh! We need to get Matt married!” John whined like a lone wolf as another stack of papers was carried over to his desk, courtesy of their young officer Sam Welson. “This has got to stop!”

As if hit by a frosty wind, Eric felt his whole body grow cold at the innocent remark. His head jerked to the side and his tongue swiped over his bottom lip as he looked to John nervously. “Why you say that?”

“Don’t you see this?” John waved to the litter of papers on his desk. “If the paperwork doesn’t kill me first, Matt's stakeouts surely will! He needs a distraction! A healthy one at that—preferably one that will keep him home and out of the office long enough so that the rest of us can have some semblance of a social life!”

“You’re just jealous that Nick is dating and you’re still single.” Sam retorted wryly as he went back to his desk clicking his pen judiciously, oblivious to the dropped jaw of his older officer. “Matt isn’t the type to be cooped up at home, right Eric?”

“Uh…” Eric swallowed. His throat suddenly went dry as the desert. He didn’t want to think about it. No. He didn’t want to even imagine Matt getting married or having a girlfriend. The thought itself just hurt to the point of crippling him from the inside out. “...um right.”

~

“Why do you keep disappearing?” Matt frowned as he holstered his g*n, eyes on the skittish officer who seemed ready to bolt at the sight of him.

“I’m not.” Eric quickly professed and tried his best to seem normal and completely innocent of any accusations.

Matt's frown deepened, his face doing very little to hide how disappointed he was with the answer he’d received. “I haven’t seen you all week!”

Eric bit the inside of his cheek and secured his belt before stepping away from the wall of lockers in the changing room. “I’ve just been busy.”

“Are you dating someone?” Matt suddenly asked, invading his personal space with a curious smirk. Although the expelled twist of the lip did not reach his eyes. “Is that what’s going on here?”

“NO!” Eric blasted. He feared the taller man would get the wrong idea. He didn’t want Matt thinking he was seeing anyone! Never! It wasn’t true! Not even a little bit!

“Hey.” Matt backed up at the rather loud and snappy outburst, his eyebrows arched. “Calm down, Eric. I was just playing around.”

Realizing he may have overreacted by just a smidgen; Eric lowered his head as he felt the heat rush into his cheeks. With his face obscured by the fallen fringe of his hair he mumbled, “Sorry.”

~

As he sat behind his desk, Matt worriedly rubbed his brow as he stared at the reports. Across from him, Eric stood erect, his own face exuding the anxiety the other felt.

“Matt…”

“Not now, Eric.”

Swallowing dryly, Eric lowered his gaze and tried to stop the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Frankly, he knew there were no words he could say to comfort his best friend right now. The guilt and horror Matt was facing was something he couldn’t quite share with the man he had stood beside for the last ten years.

“It’s not your fault.” Eric whispered, with all intent to soothe and decrease the fault he knew Matt was feeling.

Red eyes turned to look at him and Eric felt his heart clench as if squeezed by a savage fist.

God it hurt to see him like this.

“She’s an officer and she volunteered. We were all against it and so were you,” He continued quietly, eyes trained to Matt's face. He wished he could just take all the negative emotions the other was feeling and take it upon himself. He licked his bottom lip as his hands stayed loose by his sides, clammy. “You know how stubborn Amanda is…once she makes up her mind there is nothing you can do.”

“I could have transferred her to a different unit.” Matt shook his head as he held Eric’s gaze. His voice came out hoarse. “I knew this was dangerous…but I let her do it anyway.”

“Matt…”

“…She’s gone…Eric…she’s gone…”

 It had been the most misery he’d ever felt seeing Matt like that. More so than any physical pain he’d ever experienced. He couldn’t bear to see the man he loved more than life itself wasting away in the office. Completely and utterly hell bent in catching the party responsible for his sister’s a*******n. So, Eric being the type of person that he was, took matters into his own hands.

After all there was nothing he couldn’t do for Matt.

He’d jump through a ring of fire if asked.

Trade places in a life-or-death situation if it meant Matt got the chance to live.

Getting his hands dirty was nothing if it meant he’d be able to bring back a smile to Matt's face.

So for a month he’d let himself get immersed in the underground, working way past his hours, even using his free time to gather intel and data. He went as far as offering himself up as a goon off the streets. He took on the persona of a hoodlum in desperate need of cash. He did what those men asked of him without a single moment’s thought. All for Matt.

This night…it hadn’t been any different.

He knew there was a small window of opportunity.

The girls were going to be shipped off to the islands within the week. It was now or never for him.

So he pocketed his g*n and walked out of the precinct, got into his car and drove off.

The standoff with Kirk wasn’t unexpected. He had made sure to text Sam as soon as he arrived and requested for back up at his designated location within the half hour.

However he had underestimated his opponent by just a fraction.

A fraction that proved incredibly fatal to him. 

Shots were fired.

He’d managed to wound the other and watched with satisfaction as the man tumbled down, hitting his head on the asphalt in the process. It wasn’t a fatal gunshot wound…far from it.

Eric had been incredibly careful even in such a tense situation.

After all, this man was their link to Amanda.

It took him a few seconds at first to realize he’d been hit. The adrenaline that coursed through his veins served as an excellent shock absorber. The blood staining his palm as he examined his wound was alarming at first. It was so red—a stark contrast to the falling snow around him. And unlike the shot that wounded the unconscious g**g banger, his wasn’t as trivial.

An abdominal shot.

He had crumpled to his feet rather quickly after that. The taste of blood filled his mouth at a rather alarming rate.

A stomach shot was potentially fatal if not treated within a certain window—and he knew that. Depending on exactly where the bullet went, he’d either bleed out within fifteen minutes or hang on for an hour in excruciating pain as the acid poured into his blood stream.

Back up probably wouldn’t arrive in time.

He would most likely die here in this alleyway…amidst the booming traffic and the flurries of snow.

Tears pricked at his eyes as he stared up at the vast sky. The color faded from his lips and face as blood rushed through his fingers and tainted the white fallen innocence with a crimson stain.  

He just wished…

Just desperately wanted…

..To tell Matt…

…To let him know…

…Just get a chance….

His ears perked as a loud blare broke through the steady noise of traffic.

Upon hearing it, his eyes went wide as he recognized the familiar wail of a siren in the distance.

The loud distinct cry of police sirens he didn’t think he’d ever hear again…

‘Thank you,’ Eric silently whispered into the night air before letting his eyes close and allowing himself to take another shallow breath.