CHOOSING TO BE NUMBER 2

CHOOSING to be number two

do you ever feel that one day you will stop being number two for everybody men family friends even your C/O. Well let me tell you i have i been the other woman for 13 years and let me tell you honey the Bull s**t get old you have to hide and pretend and submit and give people your all and return what do you get what the f**k do you get not a b***h ass thing why cause I'm the stupid b***h. I allow family friends and even lovers treat me as such second dog me use play with me abuse me an took my self esteem my self worth my diginity away why you ask me why? i say because im stupid b***h with a good heart ?. I use to be quiet family child a child of God but all that change when i met my first lust at 14. His name was TJ he was cute had the cutest smile nice body he was everything i wanted a bad boy that loves church he was my bad boy til one day he hurt me. One sunday i was going to church and he said he will meet me their i as i come upstairs to attend sunday school there he was looking all sexy in church wadrobe then there was this girl standing there touching him of course me i reacted and got out of character in church yes honey in church. As I'm getting upset the girl walk away and tells him to check me and you know what this son of b***h did slap me yes the stupid b***h hits me in church yes excuse my language. But anyway so you know what i did I did what any crazy black b***h would defend herself i got stupid on his ass left him then went back like a dumby then left. NOW years later i met my son's Father Brandon now him he was cute we was highschool lovers on off for years have a beautiful son who's aboiut to be a 11 years old now the story with this never hit me but we both struggle with infidelity and adultery because of my affairs it cost my son to not know his father this first 3 years of his life. you ask me how? Well i will tell you. By the time i was 18 years old i met a Guy name Terrence he came to my job where i work (McDonald's) and always bought 2 ookies and large sweet tea he caught my attention with his smile he was bad boy love church and driven by success love to write and love fashion. As a year go by me Terrence started having problems he got controlling bossy and physically abusive i left stayed with a friend (her name is Amanda) she call Brandon todl him what happened he came pick me up bought me some food took me to park and then he kiss me and the kissing went from touching to other things it was so hot steamy breath taking its like i was in a movie and forgot that this man was married at the time and was still involved with Terrence aka Cooper. As the night goes it was so beauitful and omg the s*x was blind blowing and that how Terrell our boy was concieve.Now after that night before Terrell was known about a week after that night Cooper callls me to apologize i went back and we also made love had a beautiful night months later things were doing okay besides the fighting and arguing then one day boom. Oh yes your girl get sick morning sickeness goes to the ER they say it stomach bug ran test nothing okay.You know me i gotta get a second opinion so i went to my obgyn so she run test blood work ultrasound and Bam. Here comes Dr. Vu hey Mrs Vampran we have your results are you ready good news is your 3 months pregnant bad news is you having a baby bam so that's how this story came about. When i found out i was scared as s**t 19 with a baby no job ( oh yeah i quit my job for him) living with him and his parents he is the only one who works. I didn't know how he would respond so i told his mom she was the she told his dad and dad told him but the reaction was priceless he was happy. So i thought we move out of his parents house got married got our own place and of course here comes the BS abuse and more abuse i couldnt go anywhere i was even afraid to brng up about the baby not possibly being his i was scared cause i couldn't talk to him he was mean . So years go by 2012 change my life the day we got rob (he was rob) i was at work (he finally let me work) he was off this particular day i recieve an phone that my husband Cooper was shot mutliple times and shot a few of the suspects my life change devastating that day. I leave work rush to the hospital in tears in rage cause nobody giving me answers not even his mom. After hearing the doctors i tell them to do what they have to do now remind you nobody didnt do know we was married but few friends and the apartment office. As i had to show proof of this til this I'm still legally married to Terrence Cooper yes i am Mrs. Cooper. here comes the wifely duties being the provider nurse mother power of attorney his everything and still get mistreated and abused family turn they back not to mention took son still fighting for him. Why? you ask because after i got this man back into shape i left him because i was tired of the physical and mental abuse so i did what i had to do think about me and my son ain't that what a good mother would do so i thought. So then time go by i went back to work still fighting for my son here comes Twin its his nickname now he is a bad boy same story abusive mama's boy baby mama drama i ended up beig the other woman or being the stupid woman having a threesome with him and a another woman to keep him ( not the Baby MAMA) left went back left story goes on. Now here is when my life falls apart i start partying more doing drugs u name it mutliple s*x partners trying different drugs from molly ectasy bars crack and coke weed sherm u name it.Then that brings me to my life now im involve with a man KEITH(BLACK) who im deeply in love with we was friends for a minute before we had relations he was sweet always listen we always had a connection where we can be honest but he had a BABYMAMA . So time pass by we started to work on things get involve become closer and then the BABYMAMA ask for me she wants to add me to their relationship so me being a STUPID b***h go and do it and get heartbroken because i chose to be the other woman in love to the point.On this day 6/6/21 i broke up with him (both) but mosty him and now im hurting feeling stupid even though im starting a business call LT,S ACCESSORIES and MORE and i just move in new apartment and environment im going to school as Medical assistant cause i lost focus i cant graduate until next year 2022 and I'm working HCA HEALTHCARE HOSPITAL as patient screener.And still even with all the A b***h is still in LOVE with BLACK and I feel like everyone is right im go keep going back cause i keep choosing to be number two cause i dont wanna be alone but I am going to choose me and not let myself down f**k everybody else at the END it's my life i have to deall with the consequences and choices i make but im working progress i have alot of growing and healing. signing off TIRED OF BEING A STUPID b***h © All Rights Reserved