I tucked my white long sleeves in my black dress pants while looking at the mirror to see if everything fits, even my formal shoes.
Ilang beses ko pa na sinuot at tinanggal ang aking black tie at sa huli ay tinanggal ko rin. Masyado ng pormal ang may necktie and I can do without it. I think I look great already.
When I am satisfied with my look, I grabbed the white folder I hid in my cabinet that I have readied days before and leave my room in a hurry not looking if there is someone nearby.
Bago pa ako makalabas ng pintuan palabas ng aming bahay ay sakto naman na narinig ko ang pagtawag sa akin ni Mama kaya napapikit ako ng mariin.
Balak ko pa sana na huwag ng pansinin si Mama at magpanggap na bingi pero narinig ko na ang mga yabag niya na papalapit sa akin kaya unti-unti na akong humarap sa kanya.
"Good morning, Mom." Bati ko sabay matamis na ngumiti.
"Bakit bihis na bihis ka? Saan ang lakad ng aking kaisa-isang anak?" She asked smiling after kissing me on the cheek.
"Out." Tipid pero mabait kong sagot sa kanya.
She eyed me curiously at bumaba ang tingin niya sa puting folder na aking hawak kaya pasimple ko itong inilagay sa aking likuran at nagpatay malisya sa bagay na iyon habang malapad lang na nakangiti sa kanya.
"As much as I want to tell a story, I really need to go Mom."
Madali kong binuksan ang pintuan pagkatapos siyang halikan sa pisngi saka lumabas ng hindi na tinatapos ang kung ano man ang kanyang sinasabi.
I walked faster until I reached my black car in the garage and settled inside. If our guards will stop me from going out of our gate, I will mow them down with this Mercedes-AMG G 63 that I am driving. I'll even run down our gate.
Weirdly, everything is quiet and the guards seemed to be friendly enough to let me out of the gate and without questions. Buti nalang payapa akong pinaalis because I won't go back inside whatever happens to me or to the guards.
Nakahinga ako ng maluwang nang makarating sa firm nang maaga at buo ang katawan. I won't set a good impression if I am late in this final interview at kung mukha akong nakipag-away sa kanto.
I may even blow this chance that I have and I can't let that happen because this is what I really want for myself and I won't let anyone ruin it for me.
There are three other guys waiting at the area when I arrived and I sat opposite to the lone guy. I eyed and assessed each one of them and if only one would be hired, I believe that my best competitor is this guy sitting in front of me.
He also has a good physique that I can already see him working here. Bagay sa kanya ang trabaho rito pero hindi ko naman ibababa ang tingin ko sa sarili ko. I need to have this job and I believe that I am also fit for this job.
Ako ang huling na-interview sa aming apat at sinabihan ako na maghintay muna sa labas saglit pagkatapos.
Pagbalik ko sa waiting area, nandoon pa rin ang kakumpitensiya kong lalaki pero ang dalawang patpatin na kasabay namin ay wala na. Mukhang kami nalang talaga ang maglalaban sa posisyon gaya ng naisip ko una palang.
Tumango lang siya sa akin ng isang beses nang maupo ulit ako sa upuan kaharap niya pero mariin ko lang siyang tinitigan at wala ng sinabi pa.
He looks tough at mukhang hindi uurong sa kahit anong laban pero hula ko, walang isang minuto ay magtatap out ito sa akin sa labanan ng Jiu Jitsu. Except, if he has a belt higher than mine. And I am guessing that's impossible because I am already a black belter at iyon na ang pinaka mataas.
"Mr. Hart and Mr. Montecillo?" The beautiful HR assistant wearing a short skirt and fitted top called looking at me and the other tough man whom she called Hart.
Sabay kami na tumayo at nangiti naman ang babae. A smile that I think she reserves for someone that she is interested in having but I don't do threesome especially if there is another guy around except for me.
"Congratulations. You are both hired and will start training after this week...."
She run down everything to us and our schedule to be. Even the salary and benefits that I don't really mind was discussed to us. I am surprised that they give more than enough and that's great.
Napahinga ako ng maluwang pagkatapos ng maikling discussion at napangiti ng kaunti nang iabot ng lalaking aking kasama ang kanyang kamay sa akin.
"Cliff." Sabi niya nang makipagkamay ako.
"Vlad." Sagot ko naman.
I guess we'll see each other very often starting from next week when we start our training. Malaki rin ang tiyansa na maging kapareha ko siya sa trabaho so I'll play nice, besides wala naman akong mapapala kung magiging barumbado ako.
Nagpakabait ako the whole week at home but I avoided my parents as much as I can and came out alive and whole in our home the next week to start my training at Empire.
I met a few guys na kasabay ko sa training at naroon din si Cliff na buong araw kong naging kasama. Inilibot pa kami pagkatapos sa buong firm at ipinakilala ang ilang boss sa amin na nasa building.
All throughout our training, si Cliff ang naging kasama ko. He is cool and we even volunteered to be part of security tech instead of that in manned guarding and home security. Pero we are also trained para maging parte ng team na iyon. We are after all employed in one of the biggest Private Security Firm.
Inayos ko ang aking black na neck tie sa aking blue buttoned-up short sleeves polo that is tucked in a black dress pant. Ang black na sapatos ay kasama rin sa aming uniform and until I can be at Empire, kailangan ko ng masanay sa outfit na ito.
I am texting my girl who I haven't seen for the last few days because of my training when Mom stepped in front of me with a pleading eyes but I can still see that there is an agenda behind all.
"At least join me and your Dad for breakfast." Maamo niyang sabi.
"Thanks Mom but I am in hurry." Sagot ko and I leaned down to kiss her cheek para makaalis na.
Hinawakan niya ang aking braso at pinigilan ako na tumalikod sa kanya. "Why? I thought your work will start at 8? Maaga pa. You still have time."
She already knows I am working pero thank God hindi pa nila ako pinipigilan sa aking gusto. I will surely retaliate at alam kong ayaw ni Mama na mangyari iyon.
"Yeah, Mom. I'll have breakfast with Tiff and-"
"We already told you about that girl." Mariin niyang sabi. "Your Dad will be furious kapag nalaman niya na you are still with that girl!"
Napabuntong hininga nalang ako sa reaksyon ni Mama. Ayaw ko na magtalo pa kami and whatever I say, their decision won't change kaya everytime na ito ang topic ay hindi nalang ako kumikibo para hindi na humaba pa.
I'm already 24 and I am old enough to know what I want to do with my life and who to be with for the rest of my life. They can't control me. Hindi ako papayag sa gusto nila pero habang tumatanda ako ay lalo silang lumalala.
I left the house without saying goodbye to her. She doesn't deserve to be treated that way but I don't like that she is on the side of my father and grandparents. Umiinit ang ulo ko at ayaw ko na siya ang mapaglabasan ko ng sama ng loob.
Ang sasakyan ko nalang ang pinag-initan ko at pinalipad ko papunta sa apartment ni Tiff. I beat my usual time going to her place and she is quite surprised to see me earlier than the said time and showed me how happy she is to see me after so long.
Hindi niya na ako nakuhang imbitahan sa loob at agad na pinalupot ang kanyang mga braso sa aking leeg at hinapit papalapit sa kanya.
"Tiff..."
She kissed me fervently, darting her tongue out into my mouth not waiting for my invasion any longer. Siya na ang nag-umpisa at sumakay lang ako. I won't turn down a kiss.
I lift her up and she instantly wrapped her legs around my waist. Naglakad na ako papasok saka ko sinipa ang pintuan pasara at sinandal ko siya roon kissing her relentlessly and down to her neck.
I was about to remove her shirt but I stopped and took my time gasping for air on her neck. I know I wouldn't stop and we will violate her apartment again if this continues.
"Why stop, Vlad?" She asked breathily arching herself to me making me hard.
I carefully brought her down until she's standing on her own before I violate her this morning kahit gusto pa niya na mangyari iyon and I just gave her another kiss on the lips before heading to her kitchen.
"What did you cook for me?" I asked, tucking my shirt properly.
"The usual. Bacon and pancakes." Sagot niya ng nakasunod sa akin sabay ayos ng mga plato sa maliit na lamesa sa gilid. "Ayos ka lang ba?" Tanong niya pa.
I sat quietly on my chair and started to eat the pancakes that she cooked for me. Instead of going out, mas gusto ko na dito nalang kami sa maliit niyang lugar na magkasama. Tahimik at walang manggugulo.
Sinaluhan nalang niya ako sa pagkain na kanyang niluto para sa aming dalawa nang hindi ko siya sinagot at patago nalang na tumitingin nalang sa akin kahit nahuhuli ko naman ko siya.
Alam na niya na kapag ganito ako ay problema sa bahay ang dahilan ko at ayaw ko na magsalita pa tungkol doon. She just know that I am not okay with my parents but she doesn't know the specifics at ayaw ko ng sabihin pa because I know what she'll do if ever she finds out.
Hinintay ko na siyang matapos na mag-ayos pagkatapos namin na mag-almusal saka ko siya inihatid sa kanyang trabaho bago ako dumiretso sa firm.
Nakilala namin ni Cliff sa aming unang araw ang makakasama namin sa isang team and that includes two guys who seemed to be bestfriends even before they got here.
Nauna sila sa amin ni Cliff pero ilang buwan palang naman daw sila. They looked fine at hindi naman nakakairita kasama kaya nagustuhan ko rin sila na kagrupo.
Di kalaunan, nalaman din ni Dad ang pinasok kong trabaho kaya agad na pinatawag niya ako sa kanyang opisina sa bahay. No one said anything about it pero marami siyang koneksyon at hindi ko rin naman tinatago.
Alam ko na ang kahihinatnan ko bago pa niya ako ipatawag kaya bago pa ako makapasok sa kanyang opisina ay panay igting na ng aking panga.
Lahat ng sasabihin niya ay ilalabas ko lang sa kabilang tainga ko hanggang kaya kong tiisin.
"Dad." Tawag ko at tumayo ng tuwid sa harapan ng kanyang lamesa at ang aking mga kamay ay nilagay ko sa aking likuran na para akong isang militar na kampon niya.
He looked at me sternly through his glasses from the paper he is reading saka niya iyon tinanggal sa kanyang mukha at sumandal sa upuan, ready to give me hell.
"Ano na namang kalokohan ang pinasok mo?" Mariin niya kaagad na tanong na parang may kasalanan akong ginawa.
"It's a well respected job." Tanging sagot ko at kalmado.
Nothing is bad or wrong for being in a firm offering security to people so they can sleep peacefully at night. It's honestly a very well respected job and I value my work. I enjoy it and it's not something I got because of him or any of my family.
It's just so bad that he doesn't have the same belief as I do. Or maybe, wala lang talagang kahit ano o sino that would please him in this life.
Minsan iniisip ko kung suwerte ba na ako lang ang nag-iisang anak nila o mas maganda na nagkaroon ako ng kapatid para may iba naman silang nakikita. Pero kawawa naman kung ganito lang din tratuhin kaya ayos na sa akin nalang nabubunton ang lahat.
He scoffed and shook his head. "Security? Like our guards here, huh. You're not a Montecillo kung 'yan lang pangarap mo. Pero bukod sa apelyido na binigay ko sa'yo, ano pa ba ang maipagmamalaki mo?"
Kumuyom ang mga kamao ko sa aking likuran and willed myself to stay still on where I am standing before I do something that we both won't like. He is still my Father after all.
It's a blow on my face dahil parang sinabi na rin niya na wala akong ginawang matino well in fact, all my life, ngayon lang ako may ginawa para sa sarili ko.
I don't like his ways but I still respect him.
"A bodyguard?" Tanong niya pa. "We have a lot of those. Ano ang gusto mong iparating sa akin, Vladimir Azeil?!" Galit niyang buntong.
I didn't answer him and just continued to look down the floor. If he is this mad to know that I am working in a Private Security Firm, paano pa kung malaman niya na sa Security tech ako nakalugar.
We install high tech CCTV and alarms to other establishments and houses that needed security and we monitor all those inside the firm 24/7. I am enjoying it so far and there is nothing degrading about the job.
"And what of that girl you are seeing?"
"Don't, Dad." Tingin ko sa kanya para pigilan siya sa susunod niyang sasabihin.
"Or what, son?" He mocked and tilt his head.
Bumilis ang aking paghinga ng nakatingin sa kanya habang kinokontrol ang aking sarili na huwag gumawa ng hindi maganda pero nagdidilim ang paningin ko sa banta na kanyang balak bitawan. I know what's to come at ayaw ko na umabot kami sa away.
I've been with Tiffany for 2 years at tinago ko siya sa kanila dahil alam ko na ganito ang mangyayari kung sakali man na malaman nila. Sinubukan ko naman na ipakilala siya sa kanila pero kahit si Mama ay hindi sang-ayon doon.
"Break up with the girl." Huling sabi niya na alam ko na ang gagawin niya kapag hindi ko iyon ginawa.
His words can't be broken. Kapag sinabi niya, kailangang gawin. Pero hanggang kailan? Wala na bang katapusan?
Mariin kong tinitigan ang aking Ama at napaisip kung ganito ba talaga ang pagpapakita niya ng pagmamahal sa akin. Pero bilang magulang, hindi ba ay dapat maging masaya nalang siya para sa kanyang anak?
Matino naman akong lumaki and he is not this hard on me before I reached 21. Hindi ko rin naalala na naging malupit siya sa akin. My parents actually spoiled me until recently that I refused to what they are proposing to me. That's just too much.
Masama ang loob ko na tumalikod sa aking Ama at bumalik sa loob ng aking kuwarto. Kinatok pa ako ni Mama pero wala ako sa kondisyon para makipag-usap sa kahit na sino kaya hinayaan ko siya hanggang sa sumuko at umalis nalang siya.
Pagkatapos ng ilang oras na pagmumukmok sa loob ng aking kuwarto, nagbihis ako at minabuti na dumiretso sa Jiu Jitsu gym na pag-aari ng naging trainer ko noon maliban sa Jiu Jitsu simula bata pa ako.
I didn't hold bars against my opponent at akala pa nito ay may galit ako sa kanya. Well, I am mad but not to him. I'm thankful for my life but I don't like the situation I am in. It's messed up.
Nagtagal pa ako sa gym na nanonood lang sa ibang tao na naroon na nagti-train ng Jiu Jitsu. It's fun watching them pero kahit gaano ko isipin, hindi ko talaga ginusto na maging instructor.
It's just something that I have to do because my Dad wants me to have self-defense. A thing that I learned to love through time and I am thankful that he introduced me to this art. But what they asked me this time is beyond me. I can't sell myself.
Pagbalik ko sa bahay, tinignan ko kaagad ang phone ko and saw a lot of missed call from my girlfriend.
Ayaw ko naman na balitaan lang siya ng hindi maganda at ayaw ko ng pag-usapan ang bagay tungkol sa amin ng aking pamilya kaya hindi ko nalang muna siya tinawagan o tinext. Pagkatapos maligo ay diretso na akong natulog.
Maaga akong pumasok sa opisina para hindi masalubong si Dad or kahit si Mama. I can't face them looking like a mess. I wouldn't give Dad a satisfaction seeing me broken and torn from questioning my decision in life like I've made a huge mistake.
"Had a long one last night?" Asar na bati ni Matt sa akin na inilingan ko nalang habang nakaupo ako sa upuan at nakapikit. "Hindi ka ba tinigilan ng girlfriend mo kagabi?" Dagdag niyang asar.
"What did I miss?" Singit naman ni Cliff na bagong dating saka ako tinuro. "From the top and don't miss a thing."
"My s*x life is not your concern!" Sagot ko na ikinatawa nila.
"What's gotten in your butt, Vlad?" Tanong ng bagong dating na si Clark.
Ilang linggo palang kaming magkakasama pero para na kaming barkada sa loob ng firm. Brothers is what I can call them. I see a bonding that I don't think I can have anywhere else but here.
"His girl got in his butt." Si Matt.
Hinagis ko ang stress ball sa gilid na nakuha ko pero walang mintis niyang nasalo iyon saka pinisil-pisil na may mukhang hindi ko maintindihan.
"Bigger than this?" Kuryoso niyang tanong na ikinatawa ng lahat.
"Screw you." Sagot ko na ikinatawa pa niya lalo.
Natahimik ang lahat when we heard the other team talking about the hot HR assistant that we have here in Empire.
Nagtinginan lang kaming apat saka nangiti ng sabay-sabay. Old and new employees, we all appreciate the hot HR assistant and I believe everyone has their own fantasies but no one in my group made a move on her. Yet.
As far as I know, my three friends are single but they are not innocent anymore. We share some stories of our own and teasing each other about each one's s*x life is their past time.
Naiwan kami sa opisina ni Cliff nang lumabas sila Matt. I know he is not living with any of his family anymore, and I've never been more curious to ask how that feels until recently.
"How long have you been living alone?" I asked.
"Long enough. My Mom died when I was just 15. Kami lang ang magkasama ever since and I don't know about my Dad." He shrugged.
"Hindi ka na nagka-interes na hanapin ang tatay mo?"
"Nung una pero para saan pa? Iniwan niya kami, ayaw niya sa amin kaya hinayaan ko nalang." Walang pakiramdam niyang sabi.
"May bakante pa ba sa tinutuluyan mo?" Pag-iiba ko ng usapan.
He whipped his head at me from the monitors and lift his eyebrow at me. "Sa yaman mo, huwag mong sabihin na lalayas ka."
I'm considering that, yeah. One of my plans to freedom pero kailangan kong pag-isipan ng mabuti iyon. I don't want to make a rush plan na pagsisisihan ko bandang huli o hindi ko kayang panindigan.
Kinuwento ko sa kanya ang matagal ko ng problema sa pamilya ko at walang inilihim na kahit ano. Bandang huli ay napanganga nalang siya at wala ng nasabi pa.
"Dude.... 'Di ko alam ganyan kalala. Kala ko one happy family ang meron ka." Iling niya.
"Want to trade place with me?" Taas kong kilay sa kanya.
"f**k off." Ngiti niya na ikinangiti ko na rin.
Maybe living alone would do me good. Cliff doesn't have problem living alone lalo na maganda ang sahod dito sa firm. He can buy whatever he wants and can live in a classy apartment.
Kahit i-freeze ni Dad ang accounts ko, by working here ay mabubuhay na ako mag-isa. Hindi ko naman kailangan ng marangyang pamumuhay. That way, I don't have to answer to them anymore at mababawasan ang stress ko kakaisip. They can hound someone to do their bidding because I won't kneel to them.
"Ugh!" Hilamos ko sa aking mukha pagkatapos ng ilang minutong pag-iisip.
"Ano? Suko na? Pakamatay na." Walang pakialam na sabi ni Matt.
"I can't just go. Utang na loob ko pa rin sa kanila ang buhay ko. Magulang ko sila at anak nila ako. Hindi na magbabago iyon kahit bali-baligtarin ko ang mundo."
"So you are going to break up with your girl?" Seryoso niyang tanong.
"Who is breaking up with someone?" Singit na naman ni Matt na bagong dating at nakasunod sa kanya ang tahimik lang na si Clark.
"No one is breaking up with anyone. I'm going to up the game even more." I said with full determination.
"What? By sleeping with our hotshot HR?" Bulong ni Matt sa akin na hindi ko pinansin pero rinig naman ng dalawa kaya natawa.
I'll show my parents how good their son is by following what they ordered me to do but who says I can't play the game? I can turn things upside down and make my life easier.
We'll see who will get burned because I am ready to play with fire.