SETH Things simply can't get any better than they are right now. I've waited for this very moment for what feels like an eternity, and it has finally come to pass. Years of meticulous planning and relentless scheming have led me to this pivotal juncture in time. I've endured countless years of frustration, helplessly watching him speak on television, constantly battling the almost overwhelming temptation to reach into that screen and give him the thrashing of a lifetime. Moreover, I've spent an interminable number of years gazing at Jessica's photograph, perpetually haunted by the thought of what her life might have blossomed into had it not been cruelly snatched away from her, and had I not been just a tad too late to come to her rescue. As I punched in the passcode to my apartment in

