You Wouldn't Dare

CHAPTER 6 - RYSSA

“My deepest condolences, Luna, the baby didn’t make it.” A silent tear rolled

down my face as the pack doctor confirmed my worst fears.

Of course, Drake didn’t bother to wait for me to come around from

surgery before he demanded answers from the doctor. My health and wellbeing

had long since ceased to be important to him. Now was the time to secure an heir

and perform my Luna duties, whatever the cost. This was our third pregnancy,

and this time we had made it to the third trimester - the furthest we had ever

gone. Werewolves were pregnant for six months in total and I had made it to a

week off my due date. Almost six months of being unable to shift, of constant

worry and fear. It had been a trying period for us all, but we had made it. Our

pup had shown to be a healthy baby on every scan we had been for, and I had

finally allowed myself to feel some hope. Everything happened for a reason, and

though I would always grieve the babies I had lost; this was meant to be. There

was a reason the Gods had permitted this baby to live, against all the odds. I

knew that he was destined for great things. The closer my due date crept, the

more I allowed myself to fall in love with this miracle I was growing.

The doctors had been amazing, keeping me under constant observation,

and a scan the week before my due date had shown the baby was slightly behind

on their growth, but nothing to be concerned about.

I had been right to be suspicious at the looks the doctors threw at each

other when they thought I couldn’t see. I knew something was wrong and, as I

hit twenty-three weeks, my fears were confirmed when my waters broke.

Twenty-three weeks and three days, I delivered our baby via C-section. A team

of professionals snatched him away, my mate following hot on their heels. They

left me on the operating table, still unable to move from the anaesthetic as I

heard them frantically trying to save my baby’s life. I barely registered the alarm

on the young doctor’s face, I didn’t notice the blood that was pooling around me,

leaking onto the floor. I felt nothing. All I could focus on was the shadows in the

next room. They seemed so chaotic, so rushed. What were they doing? Why

weren’t they remaining calm? This was their job! They had to save my baby;

they had to!

The young doctor left in charge of sealing my wound sounded the alarm

and before I could register what was happening, they injected me with a general

anaesthetic, and I floated away into the darkness. 

I had suffered a haemorrhage, so Drake told me. From this moment on, I would

be unable to carry my own baby, the only way to save my life had been through

a complete hysterectomy. Drake took pleasure in telling me the only reason they

saved me was because of the mating bond. As strong as he was, if his wolf lost

mine, there was no telling what he would do. At least our wolves had bonded

properly, even if Drake and I could no longer stand to be in the same room. He

showed me no mercy as he listed all the reasons he would have been happy to let

me bleed out on the operating table, but ultimately the pack could not afford to

lose their Alpha, their Luna, and the only heir to the pack all in the same day. I

asked about my baby in a croaky whisper, my throat dry and hoarse from the

breathing tube and dehydration.

Drake gave me a hard look and told me I had failed, that the baby was

small and weak, his chances slim. My mate offered no comfort as he laid down

all my faults, a huge list of everything I had done wrong in my pregnancy and

the damage it had caused. As soon as he finished his shouting he stormed out of

the room in search of answers regarding his son.

I flinched as I heard Drake tear apart the consultation room, his roar ripping

through the entire hospital floor. Our poor baby had been starved of oxygen

throughout the entire birthing process.

The doctor tried calming him down, to remind him I still had frozen

eggs. We could try a surrogate; all was not lost. Drake lashed out at the doctor

about appearing weak. The shame of having such a let-down of a mate- I was no

Luna at all. I sat and listened to the tirade against me, feeling my heart break at

all I had lost.

Drake and I had been growing apart for years, coming together only

when the time was right to conceive. s*x was no longer the thrill it had once

been, my mate no longer worshiping my body. He was cruel and rough with his

treatment of me, never taking me in any position that would allow me to kiss

him or even look at him. Almost as if he couldn’t stand seeing my face for a

moment longer than he needed to. He would be out the door before he had even

finished zipping up his trousers. We would put on a united front for the pack,

appearing content with each other. No one would ever accuse us of being madly

in love, but we were strong together and lead the pack well. Now, though, now it

was evident that he was no longer willing to put up the pretence. My inability to

provide an heir had killed the last bit of consideration he had for me.

I hardened my heart that day. Never would I sign off for my eggs to be

used. Drake didn’t deserve to bring a child into this world only to destroy them

as he had destroyed me. With my baby, I would bury the last of my love, leaving

nothing left for Drake or anyone else. I would no longer bend over backwards to please him, and Goddess help anything or anyone he cares for or loves in the

future, because I would personally make their pitiful life hell on earth.

“Luna! Please come quick!” A desperate voice came over the mind-link. “The

surrogate didn’t make it. You must come and calm down the Alpha - he’s killing

everyone in his path!” I laughed gleefully. My prayers had come true. Drake had

gone behind my back to impregnate one of his whores with the last of my eggs,

and the pregnancy had failed. I wasn’t surprised. Drake may think he has this

entire pack eating out of the palm of his hand, but one or two were still loyal to

me. All it took was one promise of a night in my company, and the young

warrior had been only too happy to tamper with the eggs, rendering them

useless. Of course, Drake had killed his w***e the minute she failed the

pregnancy test. What use was she now?

No doubt it was my face he pictured when he ripped her apart limb for

limb, but I was safe from harm. He couldn’t kill me without risking the wrath of

my parents and all the pack alliances I had behind me thanks to them, and I was

immune to his punishments. I had been whipped, starved, beaten, and burnt, but

I felt none of it. I was a cold, emotionless shell of a wolf. Everything we were,

and everything we ever could be, was buried alongside our beautiful baby.

So many of my former friends had tried to reach out to me, to offer their

condolences, but the minute my back was turned, I knew they were in Drake’s

bed, whispering in his ear about all they could offer, things that I would never

have. It was as though I was less of a woman, all because I couldn’t provide an

heir to the pack I was despising more and more every day.

They were wrong, though. I had my baby. If anyone cared to look for me,

that’s where I could be found – with my son. I would sit in his memorial, talking

to him, telling him all my secrets. I knew the Moon Goddess would keep his

spirit close, she would never abandon me completely, and the thought brought

me comfort. So, when everything kicked off with Drake and his w***e, that’s

exactly where I was, calmly weeding the flowers of my baby’s garden, smiling

as I told him the story of what I had done. He would never judge me. He was

flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood; we were bonded together. Even though I

had never gotten the opportunity to hold him, I could feel his gentle touch on the

breeze as we laughed together over yet another of Drake’s failures.

“How I wish you were here,” I whispered, spreading my fingers along

the dirt atop his grave. He was so close, just an arm’s reach away, yet so far. I

would give anything just to be able to hold him, to see his perfect face.

My ears pricked as a sound floated on the air, a familiar, aching sound that almost brought me to my knees. A baby’s piercing cry. Why was it here?

Where was it coming from? My heart raced as I thought the Moon Goddess had

returned my boy to me. I frantically sniffed the ground in search for the scent

that was forever ingrained in my memory, thanks to the tiny cloth that had been

used to wrap his frail body in.

I hadn’t gone far, maybe fifty meters or so from the memorial garden,

when I saw the small bundle, kicking furiously at his blankets, his face

scrunched up in absolute anger and misery as he let out another wail. I looked

around for his mother but detected no smells, no footprints, no clues. The poor

boy was in a pitiful state, covered in bite marks from the ants that still ran up his

dirty body. I picked him up, brushing away the creatures and inhaled deeply,

immediately smelling the powerful wolf that ran through him. Though they were

unconnected as yet, and it should have been impossible to detect before the first

shift, the wolf was there, as strong, and equally angry as the babe in my arms.

I ran back to the packhouse, calling for my mate as I lay the baby down

on the bed. I had no idea what the plan was. All I knew was that this baby was a

sign. There was a reason he had been left so close to my son, as though he was

there to help heal the gaping wound that his death had left on my heart. As

though he was our last chance.

Yes, even after everything, I was willing to include Drake in this

arrangement. I could not leave this pack, not without an entire army chasing me

down, and I wasn’t willing to let any harm come to the baby because of me. The

Moon Goddess knew what she was doing, and in her I would trust. The baby

would bring me and Drake back together, he would have his mate and I would

have the vessel to pour all my love into. I hated how my heart jumped at the

thought of Drake looking at me with love and affection once more, of his eyes

lighting up whenever I entered the room. It was ridiculous, but was it stupid?

No! The Moon Goddess wanted this; she knew best.

My mate burst through the door, half shifted, his face contorted in rage. I

had almost forgotten that he had been in the middle of smashing up this

packhouse.

“You dare to interrupt me? You dare to call my name, demanding I

search every room in this packhouse looking for you? Are you out of your

fucking mind?!”

“I’m in my rooms, where else would I be? Oh, please, let’s not argue, I

have a surprise for you, Drake.” I smiled sweetly, approaching him for the first

time since our tragic loss. I placed my palms flat on his chest as I inhaled his

familiar scent, and felt the long-forgotten rush of blood around my body.

“Surprise? Have you no shame, woman?! Throwing yourself at me when our last hope has been destroyed? What could I possibly want with you now?” I

brushed off his anger with a wave of my hand and indicated the child currently

sleeping peacefully in the middle of my bed.

“What the f**k is that?”

“That’s our son,” I replied. Drake scowled, looking at me as though I had

lost my mind.

“Ryssa...” he brushed his hand through his hair as he struggled to make

sense of what was happening. “We don’t have a son,” he said with surprising

patience, his voice gentle as his face softened in pity.

“We do. I found him out by the memorial garden. The poor thing was

covered in bite marks and ants. I’ve thought this all through and it’s perfect. Too

good an opportunity to pass up! You can tell the pack one of your other whores

had a successful pregnancy, and this is the result.” I grinned once more as all the

pieces finally came together. I’d be lying if I said that little baby had not stirred

feelings I thought were long dead. For the first time in what felt like forever, my

heart was open and ready to experience joy. I felt physical pain at the thought

they would remove this tiny baby from me - I was loving again.

“What about its mother? She could return. You know she’ll be searching

for her baby.”

“She won’t return, she won’t! You should have seen him, Drake. The

mother abandoned him! He would have died out there if I hadn’t found him in

time. Besides, if she returns, then she will be killed.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Wasn’t it always your intention to kill the surrogate anyway? The baby was to

be mine to raise. We had agreed there would be no risk of confusion. Find the

mother and see to it she’s taken care of.” I turned away to pick up the baby,

offering him to Drake for inspection. “Smell him, my love. Feel his strength.

There’s a powerful wolf in there, a true Alpha. Imagine him by your side as your

one and only heir. You’ll be a force to be reckoned with.”

“If he’s an Alpha, then surely so is his mother --”

“Maybe not! You know yourself how Alphas can be! The mother could

be just another wolf he was messing around with, some lowly Omega that he

ordered out of the pack when she was pregnant!”

Drake snatched the baby away from me, sniffing his tiny head. His eyes

glowed as he registered what I was saying and I pushed forward, clearing any

doubts. “Is it not better to have him by your side, rather than one day ruling his

own pack that might be your enemy?” My mate pulled me close with his free

arm, pushing his face into the crook of my neck. I shivered, feeling the surge of

the mating bond. I had won. There was no way Drake could give this baby up,

not when it would risk a strong Alpha so close to our own pack. His pride wouldn’t allow it. It was the same pride that was close to bursting at the thought

of everyone fawning over his strong Alpha son. I grinned widely as he took a

deep breath into my neck, his breathing unsteady, his hands shaking.

“You will need to leave. Come back tonight and in the meantime, I will

inform the pack you have gone to collect our son from the surrogate. We’ll

introduce you all in the morning, make it official. We’ll tell them we kept it

secret out of fear of cursing the pregnancy.”

I clapped my hands together, “fantastic! I’ll begin packing!” I spun on

the balls of my feet and happily skipped towards the wardrobe. However, when

Drake next spoke, an icy chill shot through my veins as his words registered.

“You will, of course, be escorted by my Beta. For obvious reasons,

Ryssa, I can’t risk you being alone with the baby.” He snapped his fingers and

his Beta came rushing into the room, inclining his head respectfully towards my

mate.

“What the f**k are you doing?” I growled as the Beta seized my arm and

tried to drag me from the room. Drake grabbed me by the jaw, his long fingers

painfully digging into my skin. I saw the cold, calculating look in his gaze, and

knew I had been a fool. Whilst I had been delighting in what I had thought was a

loving moment between Drake and I, distracted by him nuzzling into my neck,

he had been busy mind-linking with his Beta, ensuring that I was not the one in

control.

“You’re unstable, Ryssa. I won’t risk you harming my son. You’re his

mother in name only, simply because you’re my mate. However, his upbringing

is not your concern. He will be raised under my watchful eye, his punishments

and rewards doled out as I see fit. You’ve ruined enough chances for me, I won’t

have you destroying this one too by coddling the boy and showering him with

affection. He’s to be an Alpha - and a strong one at that.” I screamed as my heart

broke once more, begging and pleading with my mate to change his mind, to let

me be a part of the baby’s life. “Ryssa, do you seriously expect me to give you

any more chances? How many of my sons has your useless body already killed?

How many times should I allow you to show how useless you are? Take her out

of here, Beta,” he ordered with a wave of his hand, turning his back on me. My

wolf howled alongside me as I was ruthlessly dragged away and forgotten about.

The pack easily believed Drake as he told the tale of how his son came to be. He

named him Khaos. Born from a desperate need to rescue the Luna from her dark

depression, they would fill him with love, and he would shine bright as the

future alpha of this pack. Time flew by as Khaos met all his milestones early - sitting up, crawling,

walking, talking, you name it; he hit it way before other children his age. He

completed his first shift at nine months, a phenomenon as wolves were not

supposed to be present until a child’s first birthday.

It was in these months that Drake got sloppy, no longer feeling the need

to hide his affairs or even pretend to have any feeling for me at all. Even my son

gazed on me with pity - my maid would tell me I was crazy, that a child that age

did not have such depth of feeling. I knew better.

Everyone knew he was advanced for his age, and he showed his scorn

and pity for me every time he gazed upon me. Drake had ruined Khaos for me

forever.

I didn’t care. It hadn’t taken me long to realise that Khaos was a poor

substitute for my own child. Every time he came to me for a hug, such as

Mother’s Day or birthdays, when his father had given him permission, I felt

nothing but revulsion. I didn’t want this child. I wanted my baby. I remembered

the promise I made to myself when my baby died, that I would destroy anyone

who Drake made the mistake of caring for. With that in mind, whatever

happened to poor Khaos was easily justified to me. He deserved everything he

got. He chose Drake over me, and I chose my actual son over him.