The Boy I Bothered to Love

REGRET

The school gates slammed shut behind him.

Finn unlocked his bike. His hands were shaking.

He did not know if it was from anger or something else.

He started pedaling. Hard. The wind was loud in his ears.

Laurent Estate, 14 Hillside Drive.

The address was burning a hole in his pocket.

"Stupid," he said to himself. "Stupid, stupid, stupid."

A car honked. Finn swerved. He almost hit a curb.

He was not paying attention.

All he could think about was Theo's smile. "The chair is soft. You will like it."

"Liar," Finn muttered. "He is lying about everything. His hand. The taxis. The printer."

But Finn had still said yes.

Because of Mr. Chen. Because of 30 percent. Because Finn never failed anything.

He reached his street. His house was normal. Two floors. Blue shutters. Small garden out front that his dads kept neat.

He locked his bike by the porch. His dad opened the door.

"Hey, kid," his dad said. "Papa made meatloaf. Your favorite. It is in the oven."

Finn sat at the kitchen table. The TV was on in the living room. Normal noise. Normal house.

He stared at his plate.

He could not eat.

His stomach was in knots.

"You okay?" his dad asked. He set a glass of water down. "You look like you saw a ghost."

"I am fine," Finn said. "Just school stuff. Big project. Partner is a pain."

Papa walked in from the living room. "Need us to talk to the teacher?"

"No," Finn said fast. "I can handle it."

He pushed the food around. Took two bites. That was it.

That night, he lay in bed.

The ceiling fan spun. Tick. Tick. Tick.

Downstairs, he could hear his dads talking quietly. The TV was still on.

He could not sleep.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Theo.

Leaning over his desk. Whispering. "Looks like you are stuck with me, Class Rep."

Finn rolled over. Punched his pillow.

"I should not go," he thought. "I should tell Dad and Papa. I should—"

But then he remembered Theo's face when Mr. Chen yelled at them.

Theo had not looked scared. He had looked excited.

Like he wanted to get in trouble.

Like he wanted Finn to get in trouble too.

Finn checked his phone. 2:17am.

He had to be at Theo's house in 11 hours.

"I regret this," Finn thought. "I already regret this."

But he knew he was still going to go.

Because Finn Kelly did not quit.

Even when it was the worst idea ever.