The Bald Princess

~Twenty Three~

And darling, do not worry for your broken parts, for I will love each of them separately. You are my kingdom, belle and every shattered part of you is not less than a city, I promise to be a resident of.

Atarah

Heart is a strange organ. It makes you feel numerous emotions; anxiety, fear, apprehension and sometimes love. But with everything, heart just beats louder. So when Warrior Duncan wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to his chest, my heart was nowhere normal. I could hear it beating in my ears, so loudly that I feared Warrior Duncan might have heard it too. My eyes were closed, my fingers trembling on my sides as I savoured the moment when someone embraced me in their arms with affection. I wasn't used to such affection, such care, such tenderness and yet it all felt overwhelmingly familiar.

He was cold. As cold as the ice. The fact that I had touched him twice before— one to treat his stab wound and second time to stitch his cut again but it was the first time he was touching me made my insides to feel giddy, intoxicated and I wasn't even drunk! I never knew a person— a creature could be this cold until he hugged me and made me realise vampires were even colder than ice. But despite his very low body temperature, his embrace warmed me like a warm sunny day.

Even his cold fingers provided me warmth, I was impervious to my whole life. As if reading my thoughts, he pulled me even closer, making my left cheek to press against his chest, the fabric of his shirt a little rough. I could hear his heart beat and it soothed me like a melodious lullaby.

"See, nothing happened, Atarah." He murmured against my skin and I sucked in a breath when he breathed out my name so erotically. "Do you feel any danger, my healer?"

I swallowed, my eyes refusing to open. It was in their twenty one years of life, someone had made them shut in desire, in the feeling of contentment.

"I feels...... sacred, Ansel. Something I have never experienced before. Can I hug you back, Ansel?" I asked, slightly opening my eyes and he looked down at me, his lips pulling uo in a soft, gentle smile as he slowly nodded his head.

I lifted my arms up in fear but excitement. My heart kept thumping inside my chest like never before. And this time it was not because I was scared but because I was excited, curious. And slowly, like a new born, I wrapped my arms around his torso and pressed myself closer to him.

"Do you know what your name means, Atarah?" He asked and I shook my head despite knowing the meaning of my name. He chuckled at my lie, at my shamelessly displayed lie. But I wanted to hear him speak. His voice was my safe haven.

"Atarah means crown. You mean power, my healer. And a crown is always meant to reign on its rightful owner's head. You deserve to reign me. You deserve to crown yourself." He spoke slowly, his eyes gazing at me so briskly, so intensely that it burned me from within. I wasn't used to such kind words.

"Then get used to it. You need to get yourself used to love and respect, Atarah. The thing you need to stop embracing is hatred and self destruction. Do you hear me?" His voice was sharper than his sabre, cutting me into piece that only screamed to meet his— incomplete ones. But then Ansel Duncan wasn't incomplete without me but he indeed was filling my missing pieces. I was the incomplete, broken one.

"Didn't I just ask you to stop thinking low of yourself, Atarah?" His dangerously deep voice demanded and I swallowed, smiling sheepishly at him as I tilted my face so that my chin pressed against his collarbones as I gazed at him. I loved than we were almost of the same height.

"Have some mercy on me, Mr. Ansel Duncan." I chided playfully before I let out a sigh as I cupped his face. How lord, how beautiful is this man?

"I am trying, Ansel. I'm learning to respect myself." He smiled at my words, his right arm leaving my waist as he stroked my face. His fingers were rough by all the battles he needs to fight ever second week; but they felt soft, gentle, filled with love against my skin. I never knew how beautifully pleasing it could be for someone to touch you like you're a rose petal. Delicate and precious.

"You are far from delicate, Atarah. I wish to kiss these rosy cheeks of yours." He said, making my cheeks to redden as my eyes widened at his request. He chuckled at my expressions, looking at me with his soft smile and the back of his fingers caressed them.

"I won't. Not now. We'll take baby steps, hm? That way, you will always start loving yourself with me." My lips suddenly pulled down and he sighed, his fingers stopping on the side of my face. "Never think, I don't want you because I don't want anything but you. Your love. I just wish to love every part, every shattered, every broken part of you, Atarah."

"I don't wish to leave your embrace, Warrior." I mumbled against his chest. It's been so long, I have been home.

"Where's your home, my belle?" He asked, confused and I smiled at his question.

"So innocent, hm?" I asked softly and he chuckled, shaking his head. "You, Warrior are my home. I haven't been home until today, until now. My home resides in you."

"Then stay here forever, Atarah." He said and I frowned.

"I told my father that I'll be back before midnight. I have to leave. He wouldn't sleep until I don't reach home safe."

"Then it's not good to keep your old man waiting, hm?" He asked and I laughed nodding my head as I pulled away from him. The sudden warmth left me, leaving me cold all over again.

"Have a good night, Ansel." I said, looking at him and he smiled, shaking his head.

"I did. I had the bestest night, I could have ever lived. And stop! I am walking you home, Atarah." He yelled before as he rushed to my side in a second.

The village was quiet as we walked through the lanes. None of us spoke a word but I was cherishing the silence amid us. It was like we were conversing so much without even saying a single word. Soon, our feets ceased to walk, the distance between my one home and other home reduced. I was sad to leave him but the other home needed me too. He looked at me, his eyes boring into mine and I smiled at him.

"I am not used to the touches, Ansel, so I won't hug you again. I hope you don't mind." I said, embarrassed, ashamed of not being able to handle my emotions like an adult. I felt pathetic. I bit my lips, not liking this new hatred for myself in my own gut!

"Hey, snap out of it!" Ansel growled, making me jump. His canines were hanging out through his parted lips dangerously. Why do I keep forgetting that my mind tells him everything? Snitch!

"How will you love me when you are not even able to love yourself, Atarah?" He asked, making my insides to twist as I shook my head in remorse.

"I don't hold grudges against anyone but me, Ansel. It's easier to love you but so much more harder to love myself." I confessed, looking at the darkness of the night and he looked at me, his jaw clenching as his eyes kept glowing between the dark shade of red and black.

"Do you wish to hold me, Atarah?" He asked roughly and I frowned at the lack of softness in his voice but nodded my head, nonetheless. I want to. "But you can't?"

I again nodded my head. "Too much, too fast. If I hold you again, Ansel, I would only overthink about everything. If I hold you again, this craving won't end, your touch would only fuel it more."

"Do not worry, my healer. Sometimes even bare minimum is enough to live." He said.

And I didn't understand what he meant to say until he gently brushed his fingertips with mine, holding them. It was like he wasn't even holding my handa and yet holding me tight. My heart kept thumping inside my chest as I gazed at his fingers touching mine. It felt so serene and yet so turbulent, all that the same time.

"Go now, Atarah. If you keep waiting for me to leave your hands, you would stand an eternity here." He said making me blush and I retracted my fingers back, holding on my gown. I looked up at me, slightly nodding my head.

"Good night, Ansel."

"Good night, Atarah."

~~~~~~~~

"You haven't slept yet, father?" I asked as soon as I walked in the door. Father looked up from his chemistry book, closing it shut as he stood up from the chair, shaking his head.

"I was worried, my child. Are you okay? He didn't try to harm you right?" He asked me, gently holding my shoulders as he looked at me for any mark of abuse or assault. But he took a breath of relief when he found none, taking a step back.

"He didn't hurt me, father. I told you, it was just a casual dinner." With a very long hug and amorous talks. Just a casual dinner with Ansel holding me against his chest and stroking my back affectionately. Just a casual dinner with him telling me how I'm his crown. Just a casual dinner indeed.

"You're so naive, daughter. You speak it of as a casual dinner and yet the blush of your cheeks narrates a different tale. You seem to have grown a doting emotion towards the Warrior, isn't it, my daughter?"

His words made me choke on my breath. Was I really blushing that hard? I cleared my throat, laughing nervously as father kept staring at me like he had caught young Atarah stealing cookies saved for the guests and now awaiting to be sent to sleep early as a punishment.

"It's too late for you to stay awake, father......." I started, trying to dodge the topic off but father was persistent, adamant.

"I am not assigned a bedtime, dearest daughter. But I can assign you one if you won't answer me now." He threatened me with a smile and my eyes jerked up at his words. Where was my sweet father?

"You're kidding me."

"I may have turned old, my dearest daughter but do not test my authority. Tell me, child, do you like him?" He asked directly, not beating the bush around and my cheeks reddened as I shrugged my shoulders.

"He is a humble man, father."

"That still doesn't answer my question, dearest child."

"He is attractive." Painfully attractive. Gorgeous like the dangerous weapon. And deadly like his sabre.

"Is he?" He asked with an amused smile and I bit my lips, taking a deep breath in.

"Yes, father. I may have grown some feelings for him." I confessed and father rose his brows at me.

"May? You're not sure if you like him or not?" He asked and my heart stirred inside my chest. He is my soulmate, father.

"Things take time to confirm. These are then emotions, father. Did you eat your dinner?" I asked and he nodded his head, motioning towards the empty bowl in the sink and I smiled, holding his palms.

"Sleep now, father. I am here, safe and healthy."

"And happy." He added with a smile as he stroked my face before he went to his room.

I walked to my room, locking it from inside as I stripped out of my corset, skirt and scarf before throwing it in the washing basket and walked inside the small dark room, called bathroom. I filled a jug with cold water before pouring it own my body, letting the cold water to burn my corset induced pain. I quickly wiped myself with a towel before wearing one of my night gowns, wrapping a scarf around my head as I walked out of the bathroom and sat down on my cot.

'I enjoyed your company, healer.' I heard his voice echo in my head before I closed my eyes and fell into a deep slumber.