The Bald Princess

~Twenty Six~

I have demons, you shouldn't be scared of, Sire. For they only sing when you can't sleep. You mistook my demons for angels. But, Sire, look at them. They really are in love with you.

Atarah

"He's dead, Miss Atarah." Bailey's voice was ringing far away from my ears. Or maybe I was distant. I lost a patient. We lost a patient.

My eyes gazed down at the fourteen year old, eyes closed, his fingers were slowly turning cold. Fear gripped my heart, I failed. I failed to save a life.

"Are you okay, Miss Atarah?" Bailey asked, touching my shoulders gently and I blinked, nodding my head. But I was far from okay. This wasn't the first time, I had lost my patient to death, but the pain never changed. I was still scarred. It still hurt.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Can you please check on other patients? I'll be back in a minute." I whispered and she looked reluctant to comply but she left, but not before giving me one of her looks.

'Are you okay, Atarah? Do you need me to come meet you?' Voice of Ansel echoed in my head, making a smile to curl on my face. Oh, my Ansel. How I wish the world would be like you.

"I'm fine, Ansel. Just a little shook but fine. I'll see you tomorrow." I whispered, leaning against the wall as I sat down. I suddenly felt very tired. Two hours of operation. And yet it gave us nothing.

'Another date?' His voice whispered, almost like he was teasing me and a chuckle escaped my mouth, shaking my head.

"I'm broke, Ansel. Your dinner dates will drain me of my money and I honestly don't have much left. We can still meet in the forest." I said, looking at the bright sky and I heard him chuckling inside my head. Goosebumps lined up my arms, making me rub my arms as I licked my lips. The vibration of his chuckle, kept messing with my insides.

'Or is this a way to ignore your meals, hm?' Though he was jesting, I could clearly sense a threatening edge to his voice, making my eyes to lit up in amusement. This man knew me too well.

"Maybe but I'm really broke."

'My private land has many trees with fruits. I can bring them for you in dinner.' He suggested, making me smile as I shook my head.

"Tomorrow, bring them tomorrow. I haven't cooked dinner for father today; and date with you takes too much of my time. I can't leave him hungry." I said softly, tingles running my skin and I heard him laughing. Not chuckling. But laughing. I felt something weird inside me.

'Very well, my healer. You don't sound sad anymore.' He noticed and I bit my lips, sighing as I shrugged my shoulders.

"You make me happy. Though you can be a real pain at times but you make me happy.' I said with a soft laughter and I didn't hear from him for a long minute, worrying me.

"Ansel? Are you there, Sir?"

'Yeah..... yeah, I am there. It's..... it's just your laughter. It's so beautiful.' I felt my cheeks flushing red at his words. My fingers tugged on my skirt in nervousness. 'And, Atarah?'

"Yes?"

'Please stop calling "Warrior Duncan" or "Sir". I have told you, those titles are not for you.' He said and I smile sheepishly, playing with my skirt. The corset felt tight. Sometimes, I wanted to throw them out of my house and let my body breathe freely for a while.

"I know, Ansel. It's just my habit. It will take time to change. And no matter what I call you, my feelings for you will always remain the same." I said, closing my eyes as exhaustion passed over me. He hummed in response.

'So......' He started but trailed off when I took a yawn, my chest heaving up and down once as I closed my eyes. Sweet Lord.

'You're sleepy.' He said and I hummed, blinking my eyes as I stood up from the floor and walked to the end of the room, turning the tap on as I splashed some water on my face.

"Hm. Today was a tiring day. First, the King stopped me. They exhausted me more than my work. The humiliation drank my energy, leaving me tired. And then the operation lasted for more than two hours and yet we couldn't save the boy. Or maybe, I'm just too emotionally tired today. You do not worry, I have to go see the patients." I said, wiping my face and I heard him clicking his tongue in displeasure.

'But you're tired, Atarah. In this pace, you'll get sick. Today had been a very.....  long day for you. Take a nap and have something to eat. Hm?' His voice was still soft but sterner than before. The firmness in his voice made my insides to twist and curl. I could feel his authority. The power he had, the postion he holds reflected in his tone, making me bit my lips.

"Calm down, Warrior!" I chuckled, rolling my eyes at him for the very first time. This man was indeed making me a rebel. "I can't just go home and sleep. We have many patients waiting for us and Bailey is still a kid. It would be wrong to burden her with my work too."

'She's not a kid, Atarah. You are. You are just twenty one. Trust me, she can handle the infirmary for a day.' I furrowed my brows as I placed my hands on my hips, though he couldn't see me, I couldn't help but show my sass. I was twenty two

"She is just eighteen. How come, I'm a kid and she is not?" I grumbled and he again chuckled.

'Look at yourself, my dearest woman. Keeping your hands on your hips, your brows furrowed in annoyance. This is exactly how a petulant child behaves.' He said and color filled my cheeks as I slowly pulled my arms down. I never behaved like this before. I am not like this. 'Hey, you're overthinking again!'

I bit my tongue, clenching my eyes shut at his chastise. Why do he has to point out every time I start overthinking?

"I'm sorry. And now let me work and you concentrate on patrolling instead of talking to me."

'As you order, Madame.' He said elegantly, making me laugh as I shook my head and walked outside to check the patients.

~~~~~~~

"Are you okay, my child? One of my students in the break told me that the King and his guards abused you on your way to the infirmary." Father asked and I removed my slippers, placing my bag down before walking towards him. He looked very worried.

"I am fine, father, nothing major. Just a slap and two." I said, smiling at him and he shook his head, his old, wrinkled fingers gently touching my cheek, making me hiss lightly. The pain in my cheek wasn't bothering me much now but the cuts on them burned everytime I or someone tried to touch them.

"You have fingerprints on your cheek, daughter. And they look really painful too." He said and I smiled sadly at him. This time, they are just fingerprints, all the other times, I had whip marks too. I, however didn't voice my thoughts out loud. I held his palms instead, looking at him with smile, a smile that promised him that I was alright.

"Sometimes the scars look more painful than they really are. Trust me, I'm fine father. Why don't you sit down on the chair, I'll be back in ten minutes and cook some dinner for us?" I said and he wanted to argue. I could see but then he nodded his head, almost reluctantly, releasing me from his grip.

I was quick to strip out of my corset and skirt, wearing my other, faded long dress, I often wore as nightgown. I quickly wrapped my bald scalp with another scarf before I rushed down there and started to make some porridge with vegetables. The dinner went in silence, none of us really spoke anything. Father's eyes kept glancing at my slapped cheek very often and I could see the pain in his eyes. I wasn't mistaken, I saw tears in his eyes too.

But the one who endures pain may never understand how his loved one feels. Because the scar always look more painful than it really is.

~~~~~

"Can't sleep, my healer?" I jumped when I realized that the voice wasn't speaking in my head but from behind me, making me gasp at how close he stood to me.

Sweet Lord of Heavens! He was no longer in his uniform. Not entirely. He didn't had his red, overcoat with him, leaving him in just a pair of dark dress pants and white shirt which now had creases. His first two buttons were undone and the sleeves were rolled around his arms. His hair— they were my favourite. They were no longer combed back but they looked messy, disheveled and I realised how appetizing he looked at the moment. The darkness in my room only made him look more beguiling, more titillating than he always looked.

"Your mind, my dearest Atarah, it makes me feel so beautiful. If it weren't for your mind, I would've never known what you think of me." He spoke, tapping on my forehead, making me suck a breath in. Color filled my cheeks and my fingers gripped the soft but worn out fabric of my dress. I need something to hold on to, especially when he stood this close to me. Almost like his breath would mix into mine any minute.

"My mind is a traitor." I huffed and he smiled, his eyes squinting as he shook his head.

"Uh—huh. It's my most loyal companion. You may lie to me, Atarah but your mind will always tell me the truth." He whispered in my ears and I didn't realise how hard I had been biting my lips until I felt the taste of my metallic blood on my tongue.

"Don't do that!" His firm and hard voice rebuked and I gasped when I looked into his eyes. They were blood red. His skin paler than and before. I watched his index finger inching closer to my lower lip before he wiped the blood from it and took it closer to his mouth, tasting the blood, making me gulp.

It wasn't even one drop. And yet his eyes closed like he had been satisfied. His red eyes gazing at me, lusting for more blood and a shiver passed down my body when he took a step towards me, making his shirt to touch my dress. He was cold, very cold, so cold that it made me shiver. But even his cold touch gave me peculiarly heartwarming tingles.

"Can I hold you?" He suddenly asked and I bit my lips. His eyes were still red. His demon had surfaced, the human side of him was no longer dominant and it made the warmth to pool in my abdomen as I took another step back, falling down on my hard cot (bed) with a hiss.

"Are you hungry?" I asked instead. My voice was shaky and his eyes flashed dangerously as he lowered himself down, his knees touching the floor and I gulped when he leaned closer to me. His red eyes staring through my eyes, looking at my soul and I felt so vulnerable, so naked before him.

"I am, mate. But you don't have to worry about it. But you haven't answered my question yet. Can I hold you? I wish to touch you but I won't until I know you are not scared of this. Of me." He whispered, almost like a growl and desire pooled inside me.

I looked at him, my feet dangling down the cot. I quickly took my legs up, before sitting on them, leaning closer to him.

"You don't scare me, Ansel. You just..... overwhelm me. And this proximity is new to me. Alluring, indeed but scary too. Especially when we both desire things, I am not ready for." I said and he smiled, so softly, so beautifully that it tugged on my heart. His fingers weren't even touching me, they were gripping the edge of the cot.

And that's the thing I was falling for. Consent. He respected me. And heavens, it indeed made me swoon.

"So honest, Atarah." He said, chuckling softly before he looked at me intently, his eyes were akin to the fountain of dark chocolate, melting in front of me and my yearning for its aroma and taste only increased. "And I know, I know everything is too overwhelming for you. It's for me too. This is new for me too. We both can take it slow, hm."

"Yes, please." I said and pulled out a hand for him to take and he glanced down at it, like a scientist eyes the moon. Like his dream. His only aim. "Hold me, please?" I asked softly and his eyes widened.

"But you're..... you're overwhelmed now. I don't wish to hyperventilate you." He murmured, gazing down at my hand, like he was fighting his urge to take my hand in his hold.

"Just thirty second. No longer than thirty seconds." He rose his brow at my demand and a chuckle escaped his mouth, making me shy, timid.

"Do you want me count the seconds while I hold you, my naive Atarah?" He asked and I smiled at him. Two can play this game.

"I'm sure you can handle multi-tasking well."

"Hm." He gripped my palm before I was hoisted up and pulled towards his chest. His one arm was wrapped around my waist while the other held my neck.

"What are you doing here, Ansel? You never..... you never come home." I mumbled against his chest and he looked down at me, a teasing smile on his face.

"You couldn't sleep and your restlessness wasn't letting me work either. And besides, your heart kept calling me. How can I turn down the order of my crown, hm?"