off limits, on fire

CHAPTER 4

Chapter 4: Lily's Blind Eyes

Clara POV

"Tell me what?" Lily asks again. She's still standing in the doorway, waiting for an answer.

My mouth opens but no words come out. The phone feels heavy in my hands. The message burns on the screen: *Tell her now, or I will.*

"Clara?" Lily moves closer. "You look pale. Are you sick?"

"I..." I look at Oliver. His face is stone, but his eyes are wild. Scared.

"It's nothing," Oliver says. His voice is steady. Calm. "Clara got a weird text. Probably a wrong number."

Lily frowns. "What kind of weird text?"

I want to tell her. Want to spill everything. But the words stick in my throat like glue.

"Some person saying they know me," I manage. "But I don't know them."

"Creepy." Lily sits back down. "Probably a scam. Delete it."

If only it were that simple.

My phone buzzes again. All three of us look at it.

*Smart choice. For now.*

"Definitely delete that," Lily says. "Block the number too."

I nod and put my phone face down. But my hands won't stop shaking.

"More pasta?" Oliver asks. He's looking at me like he wants to say something else. Something he can't say in front of Lily.

"I'm full." The food tastes like nothing now. Everything tastes like fear.

"Clara, you've barely eaten anything," Lily says. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Just tired." I force a smile. "Long week."

"You work too hard." Lily reaches over and squeezes my hand. "You should take a vacation. Go somewhere fun."

"Maybe." But all I can think about is how guilty I feel. How much I want to tell her the truth. How much I want to look at Oliver.

I don't look at him. But I can feel him watching me. Can feel the heat of his stare on my skin.

"I should probably go home," I say.

"Already? It's only eight."

"I have errands tomorrow. Early morning."

It's a lie. I have no plans except hiding in my apartment and trying to forget this whole mess.

"Let me drive you," Oliver says.

"No." The word comes out too fast. Too sharp. "I mean... I'll take a cab."

"Don't be silly," Lily says. "Oliver doesn't mind. Do you?"

"Not at all." His voice is rough. Dangerous.

"Really, I'm fine on my own."

"It's dark outside," Lily insists. "And it's still raining. Let him drive you."

I look between them. Brother and sister. Both stubborn. Both caring in their own ways.

"Okay," I whisper. "Thank you."

Twenty minutes later, I'm sitting in Oliver's car. The space feels too small. Too quiet. Too full of everything we can't say.

"Where to?" he asks.

I give him my address. He already knows it, but I need something normal to say.

We drive in silence for five blocks. Then he pulls over and parks.

"We need to talk," he says.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Someone is threatening us, Clara. Watching us. We can't pretend that's not happening."

"I know." My voice is small. Scared. "What do we do?"

"We figure out who it is."

"How?"

"I don't know yet. But we will." He turns to face me. "The question is: are we in this together?"

"In what together?"

"This. Us. Whatever is happening between us."

I close my eyes. "There is no us."

"Isn't there?" His hand finds mine in the dark. "Look at me, Clara."

I don't want to. Because if I look at him, I'll remember everything. The way he kissed me. The way he held me. The way he made me feel like I was the only person in the world.

"Please," he whispers.

I look. His eyes are so blue in the streetlight. So intense. So full of things that make my heart race.

"What do you want from me?" I ask.

"I want you to stop running away from this."

"This is crazy. We're crazy."

"Maybe." His thumb traces my knuckles. "But I'd rather be crazy with you than sane without you."

My breath catches. "Don't say things like that."

"Why not?"

"Because they make me want to believe them."

"Then believe them." He leans closer. "Believe me when I tell you I've never felt like this before. Believe me when I say I can't stop thinking about you."

"Oliver..."

"Believe me when I say I'm falling in love with you."

The words hit me like lightning. Love. He keeps saying that word. And every time he does, something inside me breaks open a little more.

"You don't love me," I whisper. "You can't."

"Can't I?" His free hand touches my face. "Then what is this feeling in my chest? What is this need to protect you, to be near you, to make you smile?"

Tears burn my eyes. "It's not love. It's just..."

"Just what?"

"I don't know. But it's not love."

"How do you know?"

"Because love doesn't hurt like this."

He goes very still. "It hurts?"

"Everything hurts. Being near you. Being away from you. I Want you. Fighting it. All of it hurts."

"Clara." His voice is soft. Broken. "Look at me."

I do. And in his eyes, I see the same pain. The same want. The same desperate confusion.

"It hurts for me too," he says. "Every second of every day since I first saw you. But that doesn't make it wrong."

"It makes it impossible."

"Nothing is impossible if we want it enough."

"What about Lily?"

"What about her?"

"She'll hate us."

"Maybe. At first. But she loves us both. She'll come around."

"You sound so sure."

"I have to be. Because the alternative is losing you. And I can't do that."

His phone rings. We both jump. He checks the screen and frowns.

"It's Lily."

My stomach drops. "Answer it."

"Oliver?" Lily's voice fills the car through the speaker. "Where are you guys? Clara left her purse here."

I look down. She's right. My purse is still sitting on her kitchen counter.

"We're... I'm driving her home. We'll come back for it."

"Don't be silly. I'll bring it to her tomorrow."

"Actually," I say, leaning toward the phone, "I need it tonight. My keys are in there."

"Oh. Well, Oliver can let you in when you get back."

"We'll be right there," Oliver says.

"Great. I'll make hot chocolate. It's getting cold out there."

The call ends. We sit in silence for a moment.

"We have to go back," I say.

"I know."

"We have to act normal."

"I know."

"We have to pretend this conversation never happened."

Oliver looks at me for a long moment. Then he starts the car.

"I can pretend a lot of things, Clara. But I can't pretend I don't love you."

The drive back is quiet. But my heart is screaming.

When we walk into the house, Lily is waiting with three mugs of hot chocolate and a smile.

"Perfect timing," she says. "I was just about to put on a movie. Clara, you should stay and watch it with us."

"I really should go home."

"Come on. One movie. For me?"

I look at her hopeful face. Then at Oliver, who's watching me with those dangerous blue eyes.

"Okay," I hear myself say. "One movie."

We settled on the couch. Lily in the middle, me on one side, Oliver on the other. Safe. Separated.

But twenty minutes into the movie, Lily falls asleep. Her head drops onto my shoulder, soft snores filling the room.

Oliver and I look at each other across her sleeping form. The air gets thick again. Dangerous.

He mouths something. I think it's "I love you."

My heart hammers against my ribs. I want to say it back. Want to climb over Lily and kiss him until I can't breathe.

Instead, I close my eyes and try to focus on the movie.

My phone buzzes. Quietly. I check it without moving.

A new message. But this time, it's not from the blocked number.

It's from Jackson, my ex-boyfriend.

*Hey beautiful. Miss me yet? I'm back in town. We should talk.*

I stare at the message. Jackson. The man who broke my heart. The man I spent two years trying to forget.

What does he want? And why now, when my life is already falling apart?

I look up and catch Oliver watching me. He sees the phone in my hands. Sees the look on my face.

"What is it?" he mouths.

I shake my head. Can't explain. Can't tell him that my past just walked back into my present.

Can't tell him that everything just got a lot more complicated.