My Head's Above Water

Eleven

I realized I no longer missed you when I realized I didn't think about you for the first three days straight.

Well, that's not necessarily true

I did, your name, your face randomly popping into my head but not at the forefront

My heart didn't hammer in my chest as your face started to take shape

Instead, I took a breath and let it go

I don't miss you anymore

Well, I don't miss you as much

I don't write in my journal about you

Except to say I haven't thought about you all day

And I don't leave empty pages for you anymore

Because I got a new journal, there are 97 pages left for you

I don't miss you anymore

I don't look at your social media

I've been distracting myself because even when I have you blocked, I can't help myself

But, I did it

My thumbs haven't clicked on your profile for three days

I don't miss you anymore

I'm healing

I'm finding my peace

I'm picking up the sharp jagged pieces that lay in a hazardous pile at my feet

Day by day trying to figure out what life's going to hand me next

What new things I can achieve without you

And I don't miss you anymore