Chapter 7
1959 Words
GOOD night, Alice.
-Good night. And thank you for giving me that news.
-I'm sorry.
-I'd rather know that than know that she had abandoned me,- she said.
Alfredo noticed the harshness in her voice.
Would she be so hard, so merciless?
Her blue eyes indicated sensitivity, and the curve of her mouth a hidden intimate feeling.
What was the truth in her?
-It was my duty to tell her.
He went to the door. Alice accompanied him.
She opened it herself.
Al still hesitated.
What else to tell her?
He could comfort her, but if she remained serene, stately, as if the news did not give her any
news did not produce any feelings in her... to what end would he, as they say, stick his foot in his mouth?
vulgarly they say, the blunder?
-Good night, Alice.
-Good night, and thank you.
He opened the door. She closed the door without waiting for the doctor to enter the elevator.
the elevator.
She remained glued to the door.
Her gaze was dry, but very bright, fixed, unmoving.
It was hard, yes, hard to know that it had been like that.
But it would be harder to know that she had been abandoned.
Someday she would ask where he had been buried.
In a moment of weakness she clenched her temples with her hands.
They were bursting.
The news pained him. She had been given it mercilessly. He did not blame the doctor.
To what end? He had done enough to find out. Another would not have done so.
If a doctor was obliged to find out about the lives of his clients, he could not do
anything else. That man was good, as well as attractive and humane.
She would thank him with words when she went to see him again. After all, he was
after all, he was not obliged to anything.
She felt tears welling up in her eyes. She wasn't a crier, no. She was not a crier, no.
in her childhood, and even more so in her adolescence, her tears had dried up.
But at that moment all her sensibility was stirred.
And I have it,- she said to herself. I have it very much to the surface, although I want to deny it to myself.
to deny it to myself.
She was about to leave the door when she heard footsteps on the landing.
She thought, while wiping away her tears:
-The sculptor returning home.-
It was his once-a-month client. She remembered how at first she thought
that it was a brothel-like nest, but the evidence to the contrary forced him to return.
forced him to return.
And he did so as a friend.
Passenger friend in particular since Daniel almost moved into her house.
Because Dan lived with her. He loved her. No doubt, that day he was going like crazy to
to buy the crib.
He looked around uneasily. Every corner reminded him of Dan. So
so vital, so simple, so fond of the future, of nature, so silent about his own family.
his own family.
She lowered her eyelids. She felt something wet flowing from them.
He wiped them with the back of his hand at the same moment that the bell rang.
doorbell rang.
Mauricio, the sculptor, no. He never went to her house to visit.
He would go for the massage, the sauna and some other sporadic serVice. He was not a regular.
He would show up during working hours. And once the serVice was done, he would pay and leave.
She left things in place and at the right time. Mauricio, a man of the world
and of opportunities, but quite respectful, understood.
-Who is it? -he asked in a voice that sounded inhuman to her.
-Me. The doctor.
Again?
Hadn't she already told him everything?
He was grateful, but only that.
Nevertheless, he opened the door. Alfredo entered, somewhat suffocated.
-I got to the doorway,- he said, -and I decided to come back.
I could see him.
-I'd like to talk to you some more.
-About what?
She was again cold, distant, indifferent. As if Dan's death didn't
not mean a little of her own death. Or, at least, the death of a thousand illusions that
remained in the air.
-If you want to sit down...
-I was afraid to be indiscreet.
I was. Yes. I was. He wanted that moment for his pain, his intimate pain, his pain, his
pain only hers.
No one, moreover, could share it, because only she knew its depth.
* * *
-I'm thinking about the future, Alice.
Nor did she understand why that doctor, whom she had seen only once, called her that.
called her that.
It was a diminutive that only Daniel, and his family, used when he shared her life.
life.
But the doctor... why?
She dropped into an armchair, not far from him.
He looked like a mummy.
Al thought, -His pain is inside. You can see that. And Juan is right, who dares
dares to propose a plan to this woman?-.
He wasn't going there to offer her a plan, a night of love or s*x.
He had gone because he knew everything she said.
But from his human dimension and from the logical inexperienced youth of
Alice's inexperienced youth, he felt it his duty to help her. To teach him to see clearly.
Or to understand life, which perhaps she herself was unaware of.
-I was leaving,- he said, slowly, -but suddenly I thought I had a duty to add a few things.
to add a few things. That's why I came back. As far as I can see, you're alone....
You have no family. Or the one you have is far away... Think a little. The Fanjuls have
power, money, and they are honest, humane, honest people...
He kept silent.
You'd think he was waiting for her to say something. But Alice just looked at him.
-In a while, which is not much, she will have the child, who will have to raise it,- he looked at her.
He earns money, so no doubt he'll be able to provide for him.
But children are not always small. Every human being has a right to his own life, and the
and the better it is at the beginning, the richer it can be later on. I say
this because while we are children, we only receive love and tenderness, if it is given to us,
and we don't want or can't know anything else. But children grow up, they ask
questions, they formulate their own questions.....
He was silent again.
It seemed that he was waiting for her words of rejection or praise.
Alice smoked and listened to him, though there were no questions, nor did he say a single word.
word.
It would seem that she, Alfredo thought, a little alibied, that she did not hear him. Or, if she did hear him,
she had no interest in interrupting him.
-And it's hard for a single mother not to have a concrete answer. I tell you
I tell you this because I have been in contact with single mothers since I started my profession.
profession. Obviously, we know that society has changed a lot in this regard.
so much that it is almost unknown. Until recently, a
a single mother was something unforgivable. She was ostracized from social life, punished to a hateful loneliness.
punished to a hateful loneliness. I, of course, am against such methods.
methods. Fortunately, they are no longer so rigid. But it all depends on the child, and
on how that child thinks. Which does not depend only on one type of education. A
Sometimes they are brought up to understand everything, but when it comes down to it, they don't understand anything.
understand anything. I would be sorry if this happened to you.
-And that's why, in a veiled way, you are advising me to give it to Daniel's family.
Daniel's family.
-Yes, I am.
-For me? -No, no.
-No, no. -I can see that you're cured of your fears, that you're not prejudiced,
that you believe in yourself, that you accept yourself as you are, which, in my opinion, has a lot of merit.
merit, but we do not know the pain that the reaction of a child can cause you tomorrow.
tomorrow.
-I'll stay with him no matter what, doctor.
Alfredo took a deep breath.
He still didn't know why he was so determined to free her from the moral burden of giving birth to his son, and the son of a dead comrade.
of giving birth to her child, and the child of a dead partner.
But he was there. And it was obvious that he was not going for unmentionable purposes.
-I am only telling you this for your own good. Now he does not think about tomorrow and accepts his own reason as good...
his own reason as good...
-If my son does not accept the one I once presented to him, I don't think he deserves to be my son and Daniel's son.
to be my son and Daniel's son.
-You did not love your father.
-I loved him.
-Which is different from loving.
-I don't qualify those concepts so much. Dan and I accepted each other like that.
-But the son who will come is not responsible for anything. -He will be responsible for himself.
-He'll be responsible for himself.
-Is that enough?
-I'll have to live to find out, doctor.
-You'll say I'm a meddler.
-On the contrary, it seems to me that, besides being a doctor, you look like a good friend.
He was beginning to be one. And that no one asked him the reasons.
Did he desire her or did he love her?
He did not believe in either anxiety.
He stood up.
-We always think,- he said in a half-voice, as if reflecting to himself, -that everything will be all right.
- That everything will be all right. That the children will understand, will assimilate... but not every
but this is not always the case. Not everything that is given to a child of love, tenderness, dedication and understanding is always received in the same way.
understanding is always received in the same way. That is why I intend to put you on
guard.
-I'm going to stay with him.
-And tomorrow?
-I've already told you, if you don't understand me, if the education I've received doesn't help, I'll be sorry, but it won't be because I haven't put all my efforts into it.
I'll be sorry, but it won't be because I haven't done my best to make him understand and take responsibility.
to get your understanding and your own responsibility.
-That is to say, you will not hand him over to the Fanjuls.
-I don't know them.
-And if I put you in touch...?
-I'd rather you didn't.
-Well, well...- he walked towards the door. I don't get it. I don't understand you.
Forgive me for saying that I don't understand your reaction... You're young, you can rebuild your life, find a man who loves you.
find a man who loves her.
She answered, as she opened the door.
-If that man, whoever he is, and if he exists, which I doubt, does not accept me with the child, I will not love him.
with the child, I will never love him.
-Excuse me, Alice.
-You're welcome. And thank you, anyway, for your advice.
Already on the landing, he asked in a strange way:
-Will you be coming to my office in twenty days?
-Yes, of course. I want to monitor my pregnancy as closely as possible.
-Then until then, Alice.
-Good night, doctor.
- Writer
