Your Pain Is My Comfort

Asking

About time school was out I was totally drained and exhausted. I had took four test today and Ms. Moore had us write, type, and edit a five page paper all in one class period. I could sense she was upset. It wasn't the fact that she made us do all this stuff. I mean, she's a college professor, she's supposed to give us this type of work. But it was her tone and her attitude that made me get the impression she wasn't having it today

I haven't talked to her since that day Venessa kissed me. Of course Angela doesn't know about that though.

At some point the other day I had to stop and think to myself. Why do I care what Angela thinks? My personal life is my business. And I get to choose who I want in it. I understand that her and Venessa have a past and I'm deeply and truly sorry for that. But why should what happen to them stop me from enjoying my life? I mean, I do wish I had listened to Angela and stayed away from Venessa. But I learned my lesson, and I learned it myself.

What's life without making a few mistakes.

And speaking of mistakes. Veronica has been messaging me all day. I don't know if I'm ghosting her, nor do I know why. I just got a bad vibe from her yesterday.

I haven't read any of the texts because that would only cause my fingers to betray me and text her back.

I honestly have no logical reason for avoiding her. I like her. She seems nice and intriguing. And I know if I stop trusting everyone my life will be hell. So, like I said, what's life without a few heartbroken lessons?

All I know is that I'm enjoying myself with her now, and if things go bad in the future, that's futures me problem.

Yeah

I'm not very good with certain things.

Once I came to that conclusion I settled with myself that there's no reason to avoid her. As I was walking into my apartment I opened my phone and went to her number.

Veronica

Hey, what you doing?: 9pm yesterday

Since when do you go to sleep this early? 10:09 yesterday

I have been thinking about you all night. Please text me back?: 11:15 yesterday

I woke up this morning and didn't see a notification from you and it really disappointed me. It wasn't until then that I realized I might have creeped you out the other day. I would like to sincerely apologize for that. I know I tend to come off too strong and I am utterly sorry for that. Kissing you unexpectedly like that was rude and inappropriate. I really really sorry. I would like to apologize in person. If you don't, I understand.: 9:15am this morning

I started to feel bad seeing as she thought that was the reason I was avoiding her. I mean, was that why I was avoiding her? I liked when she kissed me. Especially unexpectedly like that. But it was just that Venessa laid in the back of my head, screwing with me. And seeing as I'm done with her, I should be good.

I have decided to give up on my little mission because there's no good outcome to get to my answer.

Me

Meet me at the cafe in twenty minutes.

As soon as I sent it she immediately opened it. I know that may seem wired to some people, but I like when people read my text quickly. It lets me know that I'm important enough to where they will stop doing what their doing to see what I texted.

Veronica

Can't wait to see you

A small blush creeped onto my face as I went to go take a quick shower. When I left my apartment, it was a little after 4pm and the sun was still shining brightly. I wore sunglasses that made me feel like a badass even though everyone who knows me knows I'm a gigantic p***y.

Speaking of everyone who knows me. Where the f**k is Paige?! I just realize I haven't talked to that bozo in a minute. I've been so wrapped in my own head these last few weeks that I didn't notice she has been gone.

I pulled out my phone and started walking to the cafe. I dialed her number and called her. She picked up on the fourth ring. b***h.

"Hello?"

"And where the hell have you been?!" She snorted.

"I wondered when you were going to realize I was gone," I rolled my eyes as I crossed the street.

"I know I'm sorry. I should have realized sooner. I've just been so caught up in my life and I forgot about everyone else around me. I apologize," she started chuckling and I could just imagine her shaking her head.

"It's fine babe," I smiled.

"Well good. Where the hell are you?"

"France," I squinted my eyes. "Visiting my family. My mom got sick and everyone got scared so I came to home watch over the business. I should be back later this week though," I mentally slapped myself for not knowing she was gone. "I know your beating yourself up but I'm fine. Mom is getting better. She's yelling at everyone at the house right now no doubt. She'll be up and walking by next week,"

"Well that's good. And I wasn't beating myself up for not noticing you. I was beating myself up because I missed an opportunity to go to France," we both started laughing as I walked into the cafe.

I looked around and my smile got a little bigger once I saw Veronica. I started walking over to her. "Hey, I gotta go, but call me, ok. I miss you,"

"Will do. Love you,"

"Love you too," I hung up and sat down across Veronica. I watched as her eyes followed my phone as I sat it down on the table.

"Who was that?"

"A friend from school," she slowly nodded her head as if she didn't believe me. She cleared her throat and put her hands in her lap. It was like she was nervous. Which was weird seeing her like that. She always gave me the impression of a well put woman. I mean, I'm not saying that a strong woman can't have feelings. It's just it's hard to imagine her like that.

"Um. I know that I can off strong and like I said before, I completely apologize for that. I shouldn't have kissed you without permission. From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry," I smiled a little and nodded my head.

"I'm not mad Veronica. I didn't answer your text because I forgot to charge my phone last night. And this morning, I had just decided to leave it at home and let it charge," my smile started to go up. "and I enjoyed the kiss. Very much," her smile came back as she moved her hair back.

"Well, since that's settled, I wanted to ask you something," I nodded my head for her to continue. "I wanted to ask you if you would come up to my parents house with me this weekend? You are totally fine if you say no. I know this is a little out of the ordinary and like way too fast pace-"

"I would love to," she smiled.

"Really?" I nodded my head and this seemed to make her happy. "Oh my gosh! I thought you would say no. I can't wait for you to meet my family. Uh, a little warning. The reason why we're going is for my mom's funeral," my mouth slightly opened and my eyebrows went up.

"Oh okay," she started lightly laughing.

"Sorry to spring that up on you. It's just this is the only time my whole family will be together. And as much as I couldn't really stand my close family, I did enjoy my other relatives. Although, I can't wait for you to meet my sister," I could see the gleam in her eyes as she said that.

"I thought you and sister didn't get along," Veronica shrugged her shoulders.

"We don't. But she's always been one to brag about her life and I just can't wait to shove it in her face when she's sees the beautiful woman I have on my arm," I couldn't stop the smile that never seems to go away when I'm around her.

"I will be honored to be your arm candy," I watched as she started to bit her bottom lip making me cross my legs. This sudden arousal that keeps appearing out of nowhere is still new and unnatural for me.

"I will pick you up at 9:30 in the morning tomorrow," she said as she stood up. I followed and smiled at her. I watched as she watched me. She wanted to grab me but refrained herself.

Venessa's words played in the back up my head only making my actions more reasonable. I put my hands on Veronica's cheeks and pulled her into me. I planted my lips on to hers and her hands went to my waist.

I could feel how hungry she was by the way she kissed me. Her hands started to move down and I knew if she touched the right spot I would let her take me on this damn table in front of people, so I moved back.

She was breathing heavily and her eyes were close. "Would you like to come home with me?" She whispered. I wanted to yes. So damn bad. But I was nervous. I could sense how much she wanted to touch me but my self-conscious started to mess with me and I knew I couldn't.

"Maybe next time," I said while slowly pulling back. I didn't want her to think I was avoiding her again so I gave her a small wink before I turned around.

I had a chance to lose my virginity and I bitched out. Just my f*****g luck. But I knew how much lust she had in her and I don't think I would have been able to do it. I'm not saying I want my first time to be slow and full of love but like, I don't think I can handle her like that. At least not for now.

I need to pack anyways.