Lost in the Dream

Wrong Decisions and Piled Up Mistakes

Malkiel

Everyone makes mistakes in life, but that doesn't mean they have to pay for them for the rest of their lives. Sometimes good people make bad choices. It doesn't mean they are bad. It means they are human.

°°°

Nobody's perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. But some mistakes will teach you great lessons and make you a better person.

In my case? Everything I do seems like a mistake.

I keep making mistakes and those mistakes don’t make me a better person.

The decisions I make always end up wrong and only add up to the piled-up mistakes I commit in my life.

Just when I thought I finally found a family to people I never thought will accept me, everything falls out again and here I am, alone for the uttermost time.

"I'm afraid the patient won't be able to see again."

My heart breaks again and again upon hearing the doctor.

Theo punched the wall as he silently cries. Gideon and Koa stopped him while Martell and One are talking to the doctor.

I can't bring myself to look at them because I know it's my fault.

It shouldn't be Sweven. I don't have a clue that it will be Sweven who'll be in that car.

All my regrets assault me like unwelcome emotions no one wants.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, making me reluctantly take it.

Upon seeing the caller's ID, the back of my neck suddenly tingles. I grasped the phone so hard I'm surprised it didn't break.

I went to the parking lot so the guys won't hear me.

"What makes you so long to answer?"

Hearing his voice makes my eyes darken. I never hated him this much until now.

I used to look up at him and respect him. I used to think of him as my savior since he's the one who takes me in when they kicked me out of the orphanage.

That's what happens when you're old enough and no one adopted you. When they think you're old enough, they'll kick you out with so little money you'll wish you just die.

How can a young boy survive a world so cruel with nothing?

When I thought I'm going to die in the streets, he saved me. Take me in, feed me, dress me, and even send me to school.

I had a great life because of him that's why I never questioned his way of life even if I know we're breaking the laws.

"Sweven lost his sight." I gritted my teeth, "What did you make me do?"

"Are you getting mad at me right now, Malkiel? Am I supposed to be the one to get mad when you failed with your only mission?"

"All you have to do is cut the break of the car. Piece of cake, right?" he said while we're having a drink in his office.

"What did this person do to you?" I asked. I don't usually ask but this is the first time he looks so determined to end someone's life.

"Hmmm," he paused as he shakes his wine glass slowly, "Let's say this person annoys the s**t out of me."

When I didn't say anything, he tapped me on my shoulder.

"Come on, Malkiel. This is the last time I'm asking you this. I'll let you take a break after this. Do you want to have a vacation with your friends? I'll fund your trip."

"That's it, Uncle! I'm so tired of this! I'm not doing anything for you from now on. I blindly follow every word you say when I know I'm doing a horrible thing. Now that you've involved my friend, I won't stay still!"

He let out a laugh so dreadful it rings my ears to the point I thought they'll bleed.

"You think you can get away from all the things you've done when we all know you did them wholeheartedly? You're no different to me, Malkiel. You have to accept that your life is bound to me forev—"

I threw my phone out of anger and watch as it rolls and breaks into pieces.

I felt it before I saw it coming. I fell to the ground as I touch my lips. When I look up to the fucker who punched me, the blood left my face.

"You did it." he's not accusing me; he's stating a fact.

I wiped the blood on my face and look away.

"Why can't you speak? Damn it, Malkiel! Why don't you deny it?!"

He punched me once again and I just accept it. I deserve more than a beating. They look up at me and respect me like their old brother but I only disappoint them. The worst thing is-- Sweven won't be able to see again because of me.

"What the hell is going on here?!" One and Theo pulled Gideon away from me.

"Why don't you ask your mighty friend? Is he even our friend?" Gideon dissed.

"What are you talking about, Giddy?" Koa asked.

He pointed at me, "I followed him because I thought he needs comfort but it turns out he's the reason why Sweven got into an accident."

"Malkiel?" Theo's voice broke and it shattered my heart into million pieces.

He punched me, too, and I cough blood. I don't know who pulled him away from me. I can't even process what they say anymore.

It's my entire fault. They all have a reason to hate me. Sweven doesn't deserve it. If only I could turn back time.