Lost in the Dream

If I Could Only Turn Back Time

One

If you will be given the chance to turn time back, will you go and change the future?

°°°

I used to sleep like a log and it's hard to wake me up. I could even sleep for 24 hours straight.

Not anymore, though.

I woke up in the middle of the night like I always do since the accident happen.

I always have the same dream every night.

A dream so vivid it makes me cry every time I wake up.

The scenes before the car crash happen, play like a broken record in my dream.

The only difference is that we safely arrived home.

I look around and found the guys sprawled in the family room where they decided to stay after playing.

 Theo and Martell are snoring which didn't bother the others at all.

I carefully get to my feet and went to the bathroom to wash my face. The wall clock says it's three in the morning.

I doubt I'll be able to go back to sleep again and found myself walking to my father's office.

I let my fingers feel the edge of his study table as my chest rises and falls from the unwelcome assault of unwanted emotions.

I think the hardest part of losing someone is not when you were not able to say goodbye but rather learning to live without them.

The overwhelming urge to try to fill the void, the emptiness they left in your heart when they go.

I was used to seeing them as soon as I open my eyes and before I go to sleep.

The sudden changes in everything are what are eating me alive.

It could've been easier if they prepare me for it. At least, in this case, I can be there for them until the end.

Since their death, I didn't step a foot in his office. The smell of his perfume still lingers like he just left the room.

The box which contains all his belongings from the accident is on the table. It took me the courage to open it.

The wristwatch he's always wearing doesn't have any damage at all except for the small c***k on the side. He loves this watch so much because it's a family heirloom.

"One day, you'll use this. Once you have it make sure to take care of it. If one day you face things that will require you to choose, make sure to choose the one you won't have regrets."

For the nth time, my tears roll down my face as I stare at the picture frames on the table.

Since the watch's hand is not moving and stopped at the time and date when the accident happened, I rotate the crown to the time before they come to pick me up.

Suddenly, the hands of the clocks on the wall started rotating counterclockwise and my surroundings started swirling.

The next thing is that I'm being absorbed by a portal.

I found myself falling in deep water that seems endless as flashbacks from the past flashes before my eyes like a black and white film.

The scenes are so vivid it's like I'm witnessing them on the spot.

The weird thing is... they are the guys' memories.

I don't know if it happened or will still bind to happen.

First, I saw Sweven running after Theo.

Next is Gideon and Koa but their younger versions.

Then it's Martell and Malkiel playing Kendo.

Suddenly it's my parents.

In the scene, they are preparing for something in the kitchen. I saw the picture frame hanging on the wall which is taken when we went to Switzerland for a trip.

There's the green elephant display on top of the fridge which Mom bought in Thailand when they had their Valentine's date.

Mom is wearing her pink floral dress that from my memory is what she wore on my ninth birthday.

Dad carries the cake to my room while Mom holds a party hat like the ones they're wearing.

"Sleepyhead, wake up." Mom filled my face with smooches. "Time to wake up now, my prince."

My younger self opened his groggy eyes and smiled upon seeing Mom and Dad.

"Happy birthday, One!" Mom and Dad said in unison.

I reached out my hands on them but they started dissolving and fading away. I cried and called their names until blinding lights tune down my cries.

I opened my eyes and I'm in a different place. I look around and realized I'm in a strange place.

I've never been here before.

I walk around to find someone I can ask for directions but I can't find a trace of anyone.

I scanned myself from the glass wall I passed by while I was walking and found myself wearing a suit.

My brows furrowed.

"Where am I?"

Across from me is a scene I can't believe I'm witnessing.