Dear Moon Goddess

Chapter 4

When I got to my room I locked the door and pushed my dresser against it, not wanting anyone to let themselves in tonight. I could feel my wolf in my head, whimpering because our mate hadn't come to us. Personally, I was relieved to have the time alone to think and prepare myself for the worst.

I had been in my room for hours before the first knock came. It was Levi, trying to get me to go eat dinner. I didn't say anything as I laid curled up in my bed, with tear stained cheeks. I wasn't hungry, and I definitely didn't want to risk running into Jerrod. I heard Levi walk away, just for him to return 15 minutes later with the smell of food coming through my door.

"I got you dinner, I'll leave it here in case you want it," was all he said before leaving again. I didn't make any move to get up out of bed.

At some point I fell asleep. Different nightmares plaguing me tonight. Jerrod playing the star role, standing in front of everyone, glaring at me after we imprinted, I, Jerrod Allen Walker, Alpha of the Grey moon pack, Reject you, Sidney Leanne Mason." it rang out among the entire meeting hall. Everyone stared at me as I felt like my insides were being ripped from my body, when a scream ripped from my throat, I heard the crowd laughing at my pain. I screamed louder, not being able to handle everything, wishing I would die.

Then I felt calm wash over me, the nightmare gone now, and just a calm meadow, the long grass blowing in the breeze. Me standing in my wolf form, white paws holding me up, I looked around. This was new, I never had nice dreams, always nightmares or nothing. I took a few steps forwards, feeling the warm earth beneath my paws, before finding a nice shaded place to lay down. Drifting off to sleep in my dream meadow, all I felt was at peace with everything that had happened today.

I started stirring awake, feeling warm, far more warm than my natural body heat. I tried to move, and realized I couldn't. I started to panic, why couldn't I move? I screamed out, violently shaking while frozen in fear. Whatever was holding me tighten for a second, then I was completely let go. I still couldn't bring myself to move, still shaking, I could feel the sobs breaking free.

"s**t," was all I heard from across the room. The voice sounded familiar, but in my frantic state, I couldn't place who it was. I started screaming again, fearing the worst, tucking my head into my arms in an effort to protect myself.

I heard the door bang open, and footsteps coming into my room, at least 3 people in there now. Causing me to scream even more, the sobs coming out harder now, feeling snot drip down my nose, but I didn't care, I just wanted to be put of here and be safe.

"What do I do?" I heard someone whisper. Why would he need advice on how to torture or kill me? Shouldn't he already know what to do?

"Hey Sidney," a female voice. Since when do she-wolves help with this kind of stuff? She must be even more sick an twisted than these men. Then, I felt a hand on me, immediately causing me to partially shift my hand into claws, raking at whoever was touching me. "Aargh," was all I heard from the female voice before she backed away. Good, I thought, I wasn't going down without a fight this time.

"Sid, it's me, Levi, please calm down." a third voice said. Why would Levi be here with the people who wanted to torture me? Why would he help them? I sobbed even harder, screaming more until my voice was too scratchy to continue. Sobbing, excepting my fate, I laid down on my bed curled up. "Do whatever you came here to do, but this time, please kill me when you're done." I sobbed out in a whisper. Hearing the people in the room suck in sharp breaths when I said it.

I laid there, waiting for them to get this over with, hearing whispers from the corner but not having the energy to listen to what they were saying. Praying to the moon goddess to let me die this time around.

After a while, I felt a hand on me, I tensed, knowing it was time, but then a strange calm overtook me, causing my exhausted body to fall asleep.

I awoke after a dream less sleep, feeling the calm still hanging over me like a blanket, assuming I must be dead. But then I heard whispering, so I laid still to listen.

"Just tell me what's going on with her so I can fix it." the first voice said. He was closest to me, sitting on the bed with me.

"It's not my place to tell you, did you not see it in your imprinting?" the second voice, I knew was Levi's, responded.

"No, there are big black spots in her memories that I can't access." the first voice said, thinking it must be Jerrod since they were talking about imprinting.

"How is that possible? There isn't any way to block your mate out when you imprint." Levi said, sounding confused and intrigued at the same time.

My stomach chose this time to grumble, causing me enough discomfort to move enough for them to know I was awake. Jerrod quickly got up off my bed, looking at me with caution next to Levi who had the same look on his face. I just stared at both of them, not quite understanding why they are both in my room.

"Are you hungry? I'll get you some food." Levi let out fast, before bolting through the open doorway. Where was my door and my dresser? Looking around I answered my own question, seeing the dresser laying on the floor with a huge crack in it and the door shredded to pieces. How had I not heard any of this?

I sat there staring at Jerrod. Looking into his eyes I could see confusion, hurt and love swirling around. Being confused myself I decided to ask, "what happened in here?"

He ran his hands through his hair, definitely nervous and unsure about how to answer, "I um... Heard you screaming and I couldn't get the door open." he looked away. Then I remembered the nightmare from last night. It all came back hitting me full force.

"oh," was all I could bring myself to say. Embarrassed that another one of my nightmares had brought him into my room.

"Don't be embarrassed, honestly, I would just like to know what's causing this. I hate it for you." he said quietly, luckily I have good hearing since I'm a werewolf, I could still hear what he said.

"It's nothing, you can leave now." i said before laying back down and rolling over to face the opposite wall from where he was standing.

I could hear him sigh, and shift his feet before he walked over and sat down on the bed next to me, making me tense up, readying myself for the rejection I knew was coming.

"I know I ran off last night, I wasn't expecting to find my mate while up there talking to the packs. But know I don't plan on going anywhere, I'm here for you, you are my mate." he said before curling in behind me. I could feel the tears coming again, not expecting him to say that. I let him close me in his arms against his chest, letting the calm lull me back to sleep.