The Rejected Link

Chapter 14: Choosing her

“Exol?”

My blood ran cold. I knew that voice. I turned toward the door, almost boring a hole in it with my eyes. “Are you expecting someone?” I ask Exol not looking at him.

He didn't respond, I walked to the door, my hand frozen on the handle.

When I opened it, I found Clarisse standing there, her eyes wide with shock as she recognized who was before her.

“Clarisse,” I whispered, her name barely audible over the thundering of my heart. I could hear hers too, the beating becoming irregular. Her eyes darted between me and Exol.

“Ruthni,” She responded, her voice equally low.

Her gaze lingered on me for a moment longer before shifting to Exol, who stood just behind me, his expression unreadable.

“What’s going on? Why are you here?” she asked, her voice laced with suspicion.

I stood frozen at the door, question upon question flying around in my mind.

Why was she here?

Did they know each other?

How did they know each other?

“I could ask you the same” I retorted.

I moved aside so she could enter before shutting the door behind us. Her wide eyes continued to flick between me and Exol, the unspoken questions in her gaze matching mine.

“What’s going on?” she asked again, her voice higher this time, filled with confusion.

Exol stepped forward before I could respond, his brooding features softening to pave the way for a small smile. “Clarisse,” he said, his tone calm and collected, missing the usual hardness it carried when he spoke to me. “What are you doing here?”

Wow.

“You guys know each other?” I asked, curiosity nearly eating me away. “Clarisse?”

Clarisse blinked, shifting her eyes to me. “Exol and I are friends. How do you guys know each other?”

“We are mates!” I respond before Exol can beat me to it. Clarisse gaped, her expression shifting into disbelief, but she masked it with a smile, one that didn't reach her eyes.

“Exol is your mate. That's…nice ” she said with a light laugh, looking at Exol for a second through her thick lashes before returning her gaze to me.

There was something about her smile that didn't sit right with me, the way it didn't reach her eyes. The way it seemed…fake. I decided to brush it off attributing it to the fact that she had no prior information.

“How do you guys know each other” Exol suddenly asked after a minute of silence.

Clarisse moved closer to me, swinging her hand over my neck and giving me a light squeeze. “We are friends, best friends,” She said, sending a grin my way.

“Okay.” He said passively, his hardened tone returning. “So why are you here?”

Her attention returned to Exol, and something in her demeanor softened.

“I need to talk to you,” Clarisse said quickly, her voice taking on a warm, lighter tone I'd never heard her use before; she untangled herself from me and rushed to his side, smiling widely up at him. “About…” She paused, turning to look at me skeptically, something unrecognizable flashing in her eyes.

Exol followed her gaze to me, his expression conflicting. “Can you give us some privacy please?” he said.

It wasn't a request, he was asking me to leave. “We were still talking and I..” I didn't finish talking when Clarisse interrupted.

“You said you had a project to work on, that's why you didn't have time. I thought by now you were free, but if you're not, then…I can just leave.” Her voice was light, extra feminine, and she looked at him with big doe eyes.

Who was this?

This wasn't the Clarisse I knew; the Clarisse I knew was never this feminine. She wanted to be a pack warrior and fight among the alphas and betas. This person was another with her face.

A project? The past few days, we had both been on the quest for the Heart of Lunaris. Was that the project he was working on?

Am I just a project to him?

“You don't have to leave” Came his response, his voice calmer and softer. I have never heard him sound like that, even when he took care of me. He held her waist where she was hung on him and looked back at me. His eyes reminded me of his earlier words.

There was a long pause as I looked between the two, the kind that felt heavy and awkward, the kind where the silence was becoming deafening, and I realized I was standing there like a third wheel, an adage no one needed. My chest tightened, but I swallowed down the strange knot forming in my throat. I didn't like the way she hung on him like that disregarding the fact that his mate was present. But that didn't affect me as much as the fact that he let it happen.

“Right,” I said, opening the door and stepping out into the hallway. “I’ll leave you two to talk, it seems important.”

“Ruthni—” Clarisse began, dropping her hands and walking to the door, but I waved her off, shaking my head.

“It’s fine,” I said, forcing a tight smile. “We’ll catch up tomorrow.”

I turned and walked away without looking back, but the sound of the door closing behind me and their voices becoming distant stung more than I was willing to admit.

******

The next morning, I found Clarisse waiting for me in my living room, “There she is,” She announced as I walked in. “Thought you were going to sleep through the morning.” Her taunts passed over my head with the breeze that came in from the windows.

I wish. I barely slept last night; the image of her and Exol was a nonstop show in my mind. I couldn't shake off the way she was practically on him yesterday; every time I closed my eyes, that was all I saw, so I didn't close my eyes till I saw the break of dawn. Here she was smiling at me, back to the Clarisse I knew.

She followed me out to the garden when I gave her no response, she perched herself on one of the stone benches in the middle of the garden. Her wide smile plastered on her face, though there was a glimmer of amusement in her eyes.

“Ruthni, come and sit,” she said, patting the spot beside her. “I was hoping we could talk. Please”

I hesitated but sat down.

“You looked... uncomfortable last night,” she began, speaking to me slowly. “Everything okay?”

Oh, I don't know, maybe because my best friend, after knowing my mate, went ahead to hang herself on him like a coat rack. Instead of saying that, I gave a stiff “Yes, everything's fine” as a response.

The words were hollow, and I know she picked up on that having known me for years. “I was just surprised to see you there that's all”

Her expression softened, her eyes shining with an unreadable glint. “I wasn’t expecting to find you there either,” she admitted. “But, well, Exol and I...we’ve known each other for a long time since we were pups, we are childhood friends. If you weren't my best friend, I'm pretty sure he'd have that title”

The words made my chest tighten, though I kept my expression carefully neutral. I couldn't let her see.

“You’ve known him? Since you were pups?” I echoed.

Clarisse nodded, a huge smile playing on her lips. She looked straight ahead like she was remembering, “He helped me a long time ago when some other pups tried to bully me. I thought I could take them, but I was in over my head, and he...” She paused, her cheeks tinting pink. Her smile turned into a chuckle. “He saved me, in a way. Ever since then, he's been someone I can talk to”

“Oh,” I said, my voice smaller than I'd intended. I realized at that moment that I knew absolutely nothing about Clarisse, not her childhood or the people in her life. I don't think I've ever met her parents or been to her house, she always came to me. It seemed now that every time I brought it up, she found ways to wave it off “You never told me”

Her gaze flicked to me, her smile faltering slightly, but she did her best to maintain it. “Yeah, I never mentioned it because, well, I didn't think it mattered. It was a very long time ago.”

Right…it didn't matter. My chest tightened further. What other things about her, did she keep from me? How close are they?

“So he's your mate,” she started bumping my shoulder playfully, “Are you guys getting close?”

“Close?” I repeated, my tone dry and empty. “Hardly. If anything, he's keen on making sure I'm not anywhere near him.”

Clarisse’s smiled, the edges of her lips tilting up ever so slightly but as quickly as it happens, it's gone. For a second, I wonder if I saw it right. “Really?” She asks “That doesn't sound like him”

“Doesn’t it?” I asked, unable to keep the resentment hidden in my time.

“Hey, relax” she laughs, bumping my shoulder again. “Maybe he's finding it difficult to express himself”

“He expresses himself just fine” I retorted.

“I know him, he's sweet once you get to know him too” Her words are like a slap across my face.

She's right. I don't know him. But she does; she knows him way longer than I've ever met him. They must be close.

“What's he like?” I inquire. She frowns and stands up abruptly.

“Uh, I need to go, I was to help my mother with something.” She says in a rush “ I will be back this evening, I promise”

She was deflecting again but I nodded regardless, though the knot in my chest only tightened further. And she's off, gone like the wind leaving me with my question hanging.

I was left alone in the garden with my thoughts. I thought back to the first time I had met Clarisse. I was always alone; I never had friends nor the intention of making any. Then Clarisse came along, she was too…active, too bright a personality.

She had approached me during one of my walks into the woods when I wanted to be alone with my thoughts always from everything else. I was shocked to see her in those woods; they were nearer to home, and Mother and I didn't exactly live close to everyone.

I heard her before I saw her…heavy thuds of her boots that disrupted the quiet of the wild. She was loud from the beginning. She stepped into my space with too much confidence, which made me cautious.

"You always walk this way alone?" she asked, her tone sharp and her eyes inquisitive.

I shrugged, giving only a short response. "Sometimes."

If she heard the dismissal in my response, she did nothing about it. She just smiled like I had given her a warm welcome. "Great spot. Quiet. Not really my style.”

She looked around the clearing I favored, humming at intervals like she was taking notes. It made my skin itch. "Why are you here then? If it's not your style?" I asked, my voice sharper.

She tilted her head, her blond hair absorbing the rays of sunlight. "Let’s just say I was curious."

"Curious about what?"

"You."

Her answer unsettled me. No one in the pack was interested in the girl who lived on its outskirts; no one went out of their way to engage me. Now, this girl from goddess knows where is curious. About me? Why?

"You don't need to be" I muttered, turning away to leave. The quiet became nauseous for me.

But she didn't relent. "I want to be. I'm sure you're interesting seeing as you are out here. Alone."

I stopped, glancing back at her. "You're out here, alone always. You don’t know me."

"Not yet," she said easily like it was nothing. "But I’d like to." Was stranger danger a mystery to her?

Something in the way she was carefree both put me off and drew me to her. She was curious, that was her most prominent trait. Day after day, she'd find me, either on my way to run an errand or in the woods. She'd stop and ask questions about my life, my thoughts, my feelings. She wasn't pressuring in her attempts, just a genuine persistence.

What confused me most was how little she shared about herself in return, like there was nothing to know about her, like her only interest was in getting to know me. Each time I sent a question her way, she’d deflect with a smile or a vague remark or she'd find some excuse to leave. It was upsetting and yet, I couldn’t completely resent her for it.

Her unwavering commitment was impressive. As she persisted, my walls slowly went down. We began to spend hours talking, laughing, and just… being. And somewhere along the way, she stopped being just a curious persistent intrusion and became something I hadn’t realized I was missing.

A friend.

No, more than that.

Clarisse had pushed her way into my space, my life, and my heart in a way that couldn't go unnoticed. I was grateful.

As the memories filled my mind, my heart swelled with joy, but I couldn't stop the unease that followed; I knew Clarisse, but did I really know her? The Clarisse I had seen last night with Exol was not the Clarisse I knew. It made me wonder just how deep in the dark I was in our friendship. The thought alone scared me.

Later that day, I found myself getting ready to take a walk, something I hadn't done in a while with everything going on. I needed a way to expel the restless energy that had been building inside me. I needed to think straight if I wanted to help Exol with this predicament.

I put on my boots and extra layers of clothes. Stepped out and began walking to the edge of the woods.

“Ruthni,” a voice called from behind me, sharp and commanding. Speak of the devil.

I turned to find Exol standing at the beginning of the path to my house, his grey eyes locked onto mine.

“How did you find me?” I asked, my voice expressing the shock I felt.

He strode toward me, his movements fluid and elegant. “I can smell you; finding you is not a hassle,” he said. “You left in a hurry last night.”

“You told me to leave remember,” I replied, anger rising as the events flashed back. I crossed my arms over my chest.

His gaze narrowed. “You’re angry.”

“No,” I said, though it wasn't convincing.

“Liar, I can feel it,” he said simply, crossing his arms.

Is this whole him feeling my emotions thing going to be a pain in the ass?

I let out a sharp breath, lowering my arms. “Fine. Maybe I am. But that doesn't matter, does it? You don’t care.” It was an accusation.

Something flickered in his eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it came “You think I don’t care?” he asked, his tone dangerously reducing an octave.

“You certainly act like it,” I snapped.

He took steps closer, the space between us reducing drastically. “Careful, Ruthni,” he said, his voice steady, I didn't miss the underlying warning.

I met his gaze with the same intensity, refusing to back down. “You think you’re so unreachable, don’t you? That you can push me away and act like you’re better off that way. That I'm better off that way?” I questioned, “Why are you here then?”

His jaw tightened, the muscles there flexing but he didn’t respond. He averted his eyes from me.

“Clarisse is very convinced you're not unreachable,” I added, the words escaping before I could stop them.

His eyes darkened, he took one step closer, and for a moment, I thought I’d gone too far, said too much. But then he sighed, running a hand through his hair and looking up.

“Clarisse is different,” he said finally.

“Different how?” I pressed the words making my chest tighten.

“She doesn't ask questions she doesn't want answers to,” he said simply.

Again, not the Clarisse I knew.

The words hit me like a punch to the chest. “Right,” I said, turning away into the woods. “Because I’m just so unbearable, right?”

He grabbed my arm, stopping me in my tracks. The place his hand touched burned with heat. “That isn't what I meant”

“Then what did you mean Exol?” I demanded, my voice cracking.

He hesitated, his eyes faltering, his grip on my arm loosening. “You’re not unbearable Ruthni. Far from it”

I stared up at him, vulnerability evident in my eyes, and my heart pounded in my chest. “Then why do you keep pushing me away? I know about the curse now! I want to help!”

He didn’t answer, his grey eyes searching mine as if trying to find the right words to say. They weren't so hollow anymore, he looked distraught.

Before either of us could say anything else, a familiar voice broke the tension.

Again.

“There you are! Told you I'd be back!”

I looked past Exol to find Clarisse approaching, her smile bright. She glanced between us, “You’re far from home, Exol,” she laughed lightly.

“Am I interrupting something?” she asked, though there was a teasing tone in her voice.

“No,” Exol said quickly, releasing my arm. His features hardened once more. “We were just finishing up.”

Clarisse didn't look convinced, but she didn't press further. Instead, she asked “Ruthni, back to your walks?”

“Yes” I don't bother to hide my displeasure, her interruption for the second time now getting on my nerves.

“Can I join?”

“No” She frowned, but it quickly eased as she turned to Exol. “Since I can't join, walk me home Exol?” she said, her voice warm and inviting, a smile widening on her face.

Exol hesitated, his gaze flicking to me for a brief moment before nodding. “Of course,” he said, his tone softer, his features relaxing.

The knot in my chest tightened as I watched them walk away, their voices fading into the distance.

He chose her once more.

I sat alone in my special place in the woods; the sound of the birds and the flow of the little stream up ahead did nothing to ease my mind like it usually did. My thoughts were a mumbled mess, each one pulling me in a different direction producing a different emotion.

I didn’t want to feel this way—jealous, insecure, confused, hurt. But seeing Exol with Clarisse, the way he softened around her...it was a side of him I’d never seen before.

The side of him he refused to show me. It hurt.

I refuse to feel this way.

There was only one thing stopping Exol from choosing me, and at that moment, I made up my mind to make sure I got rid of it.