Dragon

18 - Please, wake up

Dragon

It’s hard watching the woman I still love hooked up to machines. When I arrived, the doctor told me that Kyla had been taken off life support. She’s breathing for herself, and that’s a good sign. In fact, it’s a great sign. It means she is no longer on the critical list.

Thank God for that!

I was a little concerned that Kyla hadn’t woken yet. However, the doctor said that she would do so in her own time. Kyla’s body had been through a lot, and sleep will help her heal. The doctor is not concerned because Kyla did, in fact, wake a little when the doctor called her name. I wasn’t here when that happened, so I missed it. But I am hopeful it won’t be too long before I see those beautiful blue eyes again.

Kyla is going to have a rough time when she does wake up because her leg was broken. Thankfully, it was her tibia, because if it were her femur, she would be in immense pain for weeks. Kyla also has a broken wrist and some internal injuries that weren’t as serious as first feared. The swelling on Kyla's brain has gone down, but they can't tell me if she'll have brain damage until she wakes fully and they can run tests.

Though one doctor did tell me that Kyla is past the danger zone. God, I can't tell you how relieved I was to hear that. It means that I'm not going to lose Kyla; she will pull through this. It will just take a while for her to be one hundred percent.

The doctor told me that Kyla might need help when she’s released from the hospital. It won’t be a good idea for her to be home alone. I explained that I’d be there to help Kyla with whatever she needs. I don’t plan on leaving Kyla for one second longer than I have to. She will need rehabilitation, but I will be there for that also.

I wonder if Kyla can hear me in her sleep. I talk to her every moment I’m with her. I tell her how Greer is doing and how much I love them both. Kyla hasn’t once given me any indication that she can hear me, but I won’t abandon the hope.

The past couple of days have been hard. Greer wants nothing more than to see Kyla, but the doctor doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Coming home three evenings in a row to find her sobbing was the worst thing. I’m her dad, and I can’t bear seeing her so upset. I called Kyla’s doctor this morning and told him that I’d be bringing my daughter with me tomorrow. He sighed down the line but agreed it might do Kyla some good to hear Greer’s voice. As she is no longer on life support, it won’t scare Greer to see her mother in that bed as much as it would if the machine were still there. Of course, I didn’t want Greer to see her mother with a tube stuck down her throat, which is why I hadn’t brought her before.

I let Greer know she’d be seeing her mom tomorrow, and like every child who longs to see a parent, she became excited and screeched. Greer ran into my arms and told me, ‘Thank you, Daddy.’

Daddy is a word that’s taking some getting used to. I never imagined having a child at twenty-four, let alone an eight-year-old. But I am someone’s dad, and I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t love the bones of that girl.

My life has changed significantly, yet not at all, at the same time. I can’t seem to find it in me to mind. The little girl who stole my heart the moment she crawled into my lap is the best thing to have ever happened to me. I missed out on so much of Greer’s life, but I’ll spend the rest of mine making it up to her.

I take Kyla’s hand in mine and kiss her knuckles. The nurse just finished giving Kyla a bed bath and told me that she’d be back with Kyla’s medication shortly. It’s almost time for me to go home; I promised Greer that I’d be home to have dinner with her this evening. I won’t let Greer down; I don’t want to turn into a father who does that to his child.

“I can’t stay too late tonight, darlin’. I promised our little girl that we’d have dinner together,” I watch Kyla’s face to see if her eyes are flickering, but there’s nothing.

I don’t know why it’s taking Kyla so long to wake up, but I’m starting to worry.

Surely after a full day, she should have woken by now?

Every time I mention it to Doctor Anand, he tells me that Kyla’s brain needs to rest. I shouldn’t worry so much, not unless there’s something to worry about. There isn’t at the moment, so all we can do is wait.

When has that ever worked for anyone?

“I’m so proud of you, Kyla. You raised our daughter all by yourself, and I can’t deny that you did a fantastic job. Greer is perfect, and I couldn’t love her any more than I do.

“I’m scared, though, Kyla. I don’t know if I’m taking care of Greer the way you’d want me to. I’m just going by instinct, but I don’t know if that’s the right thing. You’d be able to guide me and show me where I’m going wrong. Greer told me her routine, so I’m sticking to that, but it’s not easy. Please wake up and tell me what to do.”

But, of course, Kyla doesn’t wake up, and I’m left here wondering just how long it’ll be until she does.

I sit with Kyla for another hour, telling her how well Greer is doing. I don’t want to tell Kyla how Greer cries every night, so I only speak about the times she laughs. I tell Kyla how Greer mentioned school and how Kyla hadn’t gotten around to enrolling her. I don’t want to do anything Kyla might disagree with, so I’ll wait until she wakes before getting Greer into school.

I kiss Kyla’s head and tell her that I’ll be back in the morning. “Sleep tight, beautiful. I love you.” And nothing will ever change that.

I make it home in time for dinner. Greer runs to me as she does every time I return home. “Did Mommy wake up?”

I sigh and shake my head. “I’m sorry, baby girl.”

Greer’s eyes are downcast as she sits down at the dinner table. I kiss my daughter’s head and take a seat beside her.

I wasn’t expecting everyone to be home this evening, but here they are. Storm doesn’t live at home any longer, and I would have preferred him not to be here tonight. I’m not in the mood to deal with him right now. I know what my mother is still trying to do: get the two of us talking. I’m still not interested, so she’s again wasting her time.

While I talk with my family through dinner, I don’t realize Greer hasn’t said a word. Of course, Storm asks me a question here and there, but I don’t answer. I know I’m hurting him, but I can’t seem to let go of what he did.

I know that we need to talk things through, and we will in time. But that time is not now.

Greer picks at her baked potato, avoiding her steak altogether. She’s so unhappy, and I don’t know what to do to make her smile.

Hilly shoots me a look that tells me something is wrong, which I’m not picking up on.

“Don’t you like steak, princess?”

Greer looks at Hammer and shrugs. “I’m not hungry.”

I narrow my eyes when Mom looks at me and bites her lower lip. “What’s going on? What are you not telling me, Mom?”

She looks at Hammer, who nods his head. Mom sighs, then turns to me. “I’m just a little worried about Greer.” I look at my little girl, still pushing her food around her plate. “She hasn’t eaten in the past two days. I’ve tried to get her to eat something, but. . .”

I hold my hand up, silencing my mother. “It’s okay, Mom.” I turn to Greer. “Greer, look at me.” The moment she does, I sigh because her little hazel eyes are filled with tears. “What’s going on, baby girl? Why won’t you eat anything?”

The only response I get is arms reaching for me as Greer sobs. I sigh and lift her in my arms while getting out of my seat. My daughter clings to me and sobs.

“I’m sorry, Dragon, I didn’t mean to upset her.”

I shake my head. “Mom, you didn’t. I think I know what’s going on; I just need a minute to talk to Greer. I’m gonna take her for a ride; there’s something I want to show her.”

Everyone nods in my direction, even Storm, though I ignore him.

I leave the house with Greer. She watches me closely as I set her on my motorcycle and put my helmet on her head. She smiles at me when I tighten the strap under her chin. The helmet tips to the side a little, but then it’s not made for such a small child.

I climb onto the back of my bike, pulling my daughter closer and wrapping my arm around her waist. She shouldn’t be up front, but she’s too small to sit on the back. It would kill me if anything happened to her. If she sat on the back of my bike, she might fall off because her arms are not long enough to hold on properly. I would never risk harm to my daughter, so I’ll keep her on the front where I can better protect her.

“Hold tight, baby girl, this won’t take long.”

I smile as Greer clutches the middle of the handlebars, holding tightly the whole way.