Kissing the Fae

Chapter 59

“Can I go with you?”

Oh... I somewhat expected it. Nikolas asking if he can go with me. He is probably curious. I told them the reason why he have to stroll alone later and it made me feel curious about the garden, too. He also want to see it. It is still part of the Acres Kingdom but everyone seemed to forget the Queen Mother they abdicated for losing her King.

Tragic? Yes. That’s what always happen. The officials would force you to let go of your throne because they believe a nation wouldn’t function if there is no King despite having its Queen.

A bullshi t rule. So it is really impossible for me to be a Kingless Queen but no, I will make possible. No one shall ever live in vain and for me, having a partner is another level of foolishness.

I wonder if the time comes when having a partner don’t disgusts me anymore. Because I really do not need a man to be happy or to rule. I am a woman... I can lead without a man beside me.

“Why do you want to go?” I asked the most obvious question.

Still, I want to hear it. Aside from he’s curious, what else?

“To know if she can really shift into an Oak tree, Rasha. Or maybe you are just playing with me.”

“Why would I? I am not a kid. And remember, you are in different dimension where magic exists. You should not be surprised if a fairy can shift into an Oak tree, or an old man disguising as a blue Jay bird.”

I even told him about the bird. Facepalm.

Of course, Rani Letisha. Who would not be curious if you tell about those to a human?! It is something to be really cranky about!

“That is really cool, Rasha! That’s why I want to see it myself! With my own eyes. It’s an opportunity to witness such extraordinary events.”

“It is not even an extraordinary,” I told him.

“Maybe because you are used to it?” his voice was filled with sarcasm.

Then, I remember... I haven’t seen the person hiding in the form of a bird. I only knew he is an old man, according to the Queen Mother. And they are close to each other, they probably have a deep connection and I don’t know what it is. S hit.

I also want to find it out but I guess, not now. And besides, I should really not stick my nose about it since it’s their personal matter. I mean, so what? So what if they are more than just a bird and a tree? So what if they are more than just... friends?

As long as they are both happy, then I am okay with it. And it is not like my life will be affected if they have a mutual understanding, right? So I must just leave them alone and let my curiosity die within me. It is not even a big deal.

I ignored his sarcasm.

“And I don’t know the person behind the bird, Nikolas. So I am not sure if you are going to see it shift and also, the Queen Mother don’t usually shift back to her nature form. I suggest you don’t expect when we arrive there.”

“So, you are letting me come with you, then?”

“Do I have a choice?”

His brow raised in a playful way. There is a smile of victory in his lips I wanted to wiped away. I just rolled my eyes because it felt like it a big deal to him.

“Yes, of course. You have a choice but you chose to let me go with you,” he uttered playfully.

“Because I had no choice,” I insisted.

“You know, I believe that all of us have a choice. An options to choose from. Being here was not my choice, though. But I have chosen to spend my days here wisely than sulk in the corner hopelessly waiting for a miracle to come.”

And Nikolas? I like his words of wisdom. He’s right that we have a lot of choices. We just need to choose wisely and live with it the way we want to.

Before, I always thought I had no choice but accept my position. But then, as I looked back, I did really have a choice. To accept or not. They did not force me, I just assumed that it is something I am ought to be, that I was born with heavy duties waiting for me.

I thought of the people around me. I thought of the future of the generalized people. I thought of us... And I choose to let that sense of responsibility took over that led me to who I am now.

I was given a choice. But I chose to believe I had no other options that made me think I had no choice when in reality, I had one.

“So, I don’t really agree with you when you said you had no choice, Rasha. Because we all have two choices to choose from.”

“Was it being selfish and being not?”

Because that was what I felt before. To be selfish... or not. I chose not to be selfish.

“It depends on the context but yes, most likely. It is choosing between yourself or putting others before you. That is how it will always work for us, right?”

I nodded. “Yup... But I guess choosing to be not selfish is the best. I’d rather prioritize my people than myself, Nikolas. And I chose it long time ago, to put them first.”

“That’s why you became a leader?”

“Yes...”

“And you do not seem to be happy about it. I can feel it...”

“It is not that I am not happy... Maybe in between? I am happy giving my service, to help... but also not because this is not how I pictured my life... I wanted to be an ordinary, Nikolas...”

“But you are not born to be one. It’s a choice to live simple or not. And you chose this path.”

“Yup... I have no regrets in choosing this path.”

“Even if it does not completely make you happy?”

Again, I nodded. Silence filled us as we continued walking towards the garden. Every step made a sound, stepping at those dry leaves. The cold breeze swoosh and my hair dances with it, even the branches of the tree dance with rhythm. It was cold... a bit harsh on the skin. I can’t help but remember Alistair.

He has the power over the wind. I shook my head, dismissing the thought. What the f uck, Rani Letisha?!

Why would I even think of that jerk?! Gross. I hated how this air reminded me of him. It’s not like it is his doing! Of course, not! He has the power over it but doesn’t mean he is the reason why it exists.

Shaking my head, I cringe.

“Anyway, the Acres Kingdom seemed to have a wide landscape. I noticed that this part is not occupied by anyone. There is no houses... Just a pure forest that does not look like even one. I assumed you just let these trees grow wherever it wants, right?”

“Yeah,” I answered, trying to dismiss the though of that i***t. “I mean, we do not have that much population anymore since we were once divided into two groups. You know, war happened. Some chose to withdrew theirselves and join the other.”

“Oh... war...” he whispered as if it caught his attention.

I hummed. “Yes... It happened before. I wasn’t born yet so I don’t really know the exact stories. But we were divided into two groups now called the Achlys which lead by a dark Pixie, and us — Faye, and the other groups. We were mixed...”

“So there is a good and bad fairies? Just like what I have seen in movies. Uh, this sounds so dramatic and ironic. I mean, there will be always a devil and a good one. But then, I assumed that since this is full of magic wherein you can control everything through it, I thought peace was maintained.”

“We are not built perfectly and we do not have the power to control everything, even the minds of others, Nikolas. We were not born as perfect as you thought we were. There is always flaws.”

This is magic, yes. But if good and bad exists in his world, then we also have it here. Maybe that’s the thing we shared in common. The word is built to be like that, huh. It just proved that wherever you are, there will always be the negative properties you might encounter in life.

The world is not perfect, so does the species living inside it.

“We are still in peace, Nikolas. We maintain the peace and order inside and out of our kingdom to avoid the history from happening again because I deem not to experience it, or people to experience the same nightmare.”

He went silent. I hated how he just assumed that we were perfect, that we did not go through something difficult like war. If the world is only built so perfectly and if everyone just chose to amend everything by not using violence, then we could have make a better worlds, right?

Same as theirs.

“You said the human world is in chaos. We are also going through the same, Nikolas. There will be always conflicts because it just became part of us, right? Even with the movies you have watched before, I guess it’s not always the happy side of the story that will be shown up, am I right?”

He did not talk. Perhaps he realized he was wrong about his judgment? I am not trying to shy him away but rather, educate him. To inform him that not everything is perfect. I want him to realize it. That not because we are living in a world that is filled with magic and indeed, an extraordinary life does not mean we do not experience some catastrophes and difficulties in our lives.

We did not talk but continued to walk again.

“Tell me if you feel tired and we will rest, Nikolas.”

He just shook his head. I gave him that.

For some reason, I felt nervous. I wanted to think that it is because of the fact that I am going to see the Queen Mother but why is something inside me telling me it is not?

Do not tell me it is because of him?!

I shook my head, making him look in my direction.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded my head. “Yup! Why would I not be okay?”

I faked a smile. Why would I not he okay?!

“Oh, alright. We can rest if you are tired...” he offered.

“I am not tired, Nikolas...” I whispered so slowly.

I looked away when he didn’t. I tried to divert my attention and never glanced at him. What the hell is this?!

No, Rani Letisha. You are not nervous because having him around! This is so f ucked up! Why would I?! Yesterday was all okay! I didn’t even feel this weird feeling until now!

“Well... I am expecting the garden to be beautiful. You seemed so engross about it.”

“You won’t regret walking this far...”

And why are we walking?! I felt like I was too occupied to bother thinking of it. Or was too excited I forgot to think about our journey for today.

I wanted to slap my cheeks because of that. But then, I won’t. I let out a deep breathe as I tried to not talk to him for a moment.

He went silent. I hated how he just assumed that we were perfect, that we did not go through something difficult like war. If the world is only built so perfectly and if everyone just chose to amend everything by not using violence, then we could have make a better worlds, right?

Same as theirs.

“You said the human world is in chaos. We are also going through the same, Nikolas. There will be always conflicts because it just became part of us, right? Even with the movies you have watched before, I guess it’s not always the happy side of the story that will be shown up, am I right?”

He did not talk. Perhaps he realized he was wrong about his judgment? I am not trying to shy him away but rather, educate him. To inform him that not everything is perfect. I want him to realize it. That not because we are living in a world that is filled with magic and indeed, an extraordinary life does not mean we do not experience some catastrophes and difficulties in our lives.

We did not talk but continued to walk again.

“Tell me if you feel tired and we will rest, Nikolas.”

He just shook his head. I gave him that.

For some reason, I felt nervous. I wanted to think that it is because of the fact that I am going to see the Queen Mother but why is something inside me telling me it is not?

Do not tell me it is because of him?!

I shook my head, making him look in my direction.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded my head. “Yup! Why would I not be okay?”

I faked a smile. Why would I not he okay?!

“Oh, alright. We can rest if you are tired...” he offered.