Kissing the Fae

Chapter 36

How can she do something like that? Everyone knows how desperate I am! I even looked so stupid thinking and searching for clue that would help me climb my way back to the top. Because honestly, I feel so hopeless. I feel like I won’t succeed. I felt so weak and powerless. I am near to believe that perhaps, everyone was right about me. That I don’t deserve my position because I’m weak.

Yet I don’t really want to give them the satisfaction seeing me fail. I don’t want them to see me on my knees and in tears, crying for help, begging not to take my home away from me. Because I know it would just prove that I am nothing but damsel in distress, a woman who doesn’t have the power to rule. If I fail, it wasn’t just me whose dignity will fall but also, those women who dreamt to rule. Those women who believed in me that I am capable of proving our ability and rights to have a position in our kingdom, they will be hopeless, too.

I don’t want the councils to celebrate their wins. No matter how hard and life threatening the challenge is, I’m ready to give my whole to win it.

To win is not to give up. And I promise to prove that woman run the world.

“So, we will go back to face the Queen Mother...” it was Terran who sighed.

Deniz uttered nothing. He went silence after the talk with the blue Jaybird. The bird didn’t tell us the complete details nor even confirmed that the Queen Mother has the power of Glamour but it was enough. He gave us clue — he let me have it without asking anything in return and I felt like he was just waiting for this day to come where he would finally tell me something about the missing power.

It wasn’t missing... It was hidden and I’m sure the Queen Mother knows where it is.

“Yes... We do not have a choice but confront the former Queen of our kingdom. I need the information, I need her help...”

I don’t want to get angry at her for keeping me this. I really don’t want to build a wall between us because it would be so unfair for her to tell me right away about the power of illusion without having to work hard for it. I just thought that maybe, like a normal Fairy and like those people who tried to get it, I must go through the same struggles they have experienced.

But I’d make sure I won’t fail. They failed. And this time, I want to end and replace the history of the idea that women are weak because they weren’t able to pass a test before.

“It’s the Queen Mother. Do you think she’d give you clue or let’s say, she has it. Do you think she’d give it to you without you going through death, Rani Letisha? I know she’s your grandmother but we all know what kind of leader she was before.”

“I know, Terran. I know that...”

The Little Fairies looked so worried, too. The last time we saw the Queen Mother, it was all fine. Because I went there as her granddaughter and she put her mask on to treat me as a grandchild, too. She was my grandmother but when it comes to a situation like this, I know she won’t go easy on me. Even though she already trust my ability to rule, she still wants to make sure I have enough power to claim the power of illusion.

The Queen Mother is strict when it comes to people who ruled the kingdom she looked after in the past. Yet it wasn’t controlled. She didn’t able to control those greedy men who sat on the throne whose goal is to destroy the Acres Kingdom and even the whole Godlic world. She became more weaker in power when she was kicked out of the throne and since then, those greedy councils took advantage to it.

We are still in the boundary of the Asbel. It’s getting dark and we can’t stay here forever and do nothing. The time is ticking.

“Then, we should go, right? We are both here and we’ll always be there for you whatever you may face.”

I looked at Deniz. He was still silent. I don’t know what’s on his mind and if I can only invade it, I would. But everyone of us were blocked from entering our mind for privacy reasons. The link was closed and we get to open it if it’s needed.

I am curious. I can say that he’s thinking so deeply and I’m afraid we might all get drowned at it. I can’t help but remember Alistair. That man... I wonder if he can sleep so tight at night knowing he rejected my favor to help me.

I tsked inwardly. I should not even think of him in the first place. But Deniz just reminded me of him. I sighed deeply and shook my head to dismiss the thought of that man. Is he even man enough? I think no.

There’s really no issue between us. Yet somehow, I know Alistair still felt that I’m a threat to his stability. After all, he liked me and maybe, being here with me would uh... affect him in some ways.

I closed my eyes and tried to dismiss it again. What the f uck, Rani Lestisha!

I am in the middle of something yet I still have that time to think of him! I hate it.

“Thank you but I really think you two should go back to your respective region,” I told them calmly.

Terran stood up. He looked at me with confusion in their eyes. I know they both wanted to leave and we had a deal. I won... I was right about my hunch but still, my heart won’t let me go through this without feeling guilty because they left a responsibility in their region just to help me, just to be with me in this journey.

I really don’t want them to leave but they have to. They need to. I can do this alone with these Little Fairies and even though I need their help, I know I have to go through this challenge by all myself. I don’t want to get them involved for surely, it’s a life and death situation. I don’t want to bring them in to the life threatening challenge I might experience just to get this thing done.

“No...” Terran who immediately shook his head in disapproval. “We are not leaving you here, Rani Letisha. We will stay with you until the very end.”

“But you have a responsibility in the Acres Kingdom and you two are needed there. You can’t just stay with me and act as if there’s no problem. And beside, the missing portal would show up soon and again, a human will be here, too. The officials will look for you two... You can’t be missing at that day.”

Deniz looked at me boredly. I know he’s with Terran. These two... They were worried about the responsibility they left in their regions and now, they changed their minds. Yet it can’t be.

Our regions need us. My region, the Faye needs me and currently, the Queen is looking after the Fairies while I’m gone and searching. After all, she was our leader. She was the Faye leader before me. She didn’t do it just because I’m her daughter but my mother still has that sense of responsibility to her former subordinates. To her people.

And as the Queen, too. I am really thankful for her. I entrusted her my people and I know she won’t fail me.

“Alistair can handle that alone,” said Terran. “They don’t need us, Rani Letisha. The human will soon face his or her death and there is nothing we can do but bury the body and Alistair can do that without our help. So, let us be with you. Take us with you.”

“Terran was right. Alistair can handle that,” said Deniz who agreed. “I am sure of that, Rani. We don’t really have to worry about anything now. There’s only a minimal problem in our region that can be handle by our people appointed to lead at the moment. So, don’t worry ‘bout it. Instead, let’s think about how to get the power you’ll need from the Queen Mother, if ever she has it.”

I closed my mouth to refrain from talking for a bit. Them not wanting to leave me is highly appreciated. Yet how can they make sure it’s minimal when they aren’t even there? A minimal problem can grow and we can’t really tell how it’d affect us, the region, and even the whole Acres Kingdom. Or maybe this is just me again overthinking and just... worried about their well-beings.

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes emphatically. My heart is racing in many reasons. I am nervous to face my grandmother again, the Queen Mother and this time, to ask and possibly get the power of Glamour from her grasps. I feel so anxious at the thought that these young men might have a big problem but is not telling me.

They are capable of hiding, after all. In order to protect and be with me, they’re willing to give up something. They maybe acted up but deep inside them, I know they can’t leave me. Their hearts won’t let them leave me and see me struggle alone. And really, that’s something I don’t want to.

For they are undoubtedly willing to be with me even if it means risking their lives.

I opened my eyes and saw them directly staring at me. They all looked serious. Even the Little Fairies, I know they are unstoppable through the determination in their eyes.

“You really don’t have to be with me...” I told them calmly. “You know the risks, Terran and Deniz. You two surely know how I care for people and the regions and you know what I really want you two to do right now.”

To attend to their responsibilities as the leader of the Sidhe and the Nixie region. It’s the thing that’s on top of my priorities. To be a leader that people would look up to. People that would trust and rely, those are my sole purpose of becoming a leader.

To be their hope in their darkest times.

The cold wind blew. The dry leaves was swayed away by it and the swoosh was heard as the trees dances with it. I looked at the dead trees and there were barely fruits and fresh leaves. It all died down, it all fell at every slap of the wind.

The Asbel was once a beautiful town. It was full of life and hope. It was so beautiful that was envied by everyone. The Asbel was the next town next to the Acres Kingdom, the town that had died now.

No one rule the Asbel. But the blue Jaybird was the one who guard it. Perhaps no one live there anymore because the Achlys was the town’s neighborhood. Even the other village near it has come to end.

I wanted this to be alive again. But it’s impossible for now because there is no leader who has enough courage and strong will to build the Asbel again. It’s now forgotten and thought to be lifeless. If only I can, I would.

But I know I can’t. I have so much in my plate right now and besides, I am just starting to get my power back again. In order to rule another town, I must acquire a higher position in the Acres Kingdom where the commission won’t have the rights to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do.

A position where they will bow down to me. I’m a woman but I am definitely not weak.

I’d make sure they will beg for my mercy when the right comes. They will bow down to me.