Chapter 73
858 Words
James looked at me disappointed and hurt. His eyes were glassy. I wasn’t looking into his jade green charming eyes. I was looking into his vulnerable and pained soul. I ran past Denver who tried to stop me by grabbing my arm. I felt confused. It was overwhelming to feel so much for someone but at the same time, just wanting to escape the same person.
I catch up to James as he closes his car door, and I desperately fling myself in front of his car to stop him from leaving.
"Get out of the way, Charlotte," he mutters, his voice exasperated.
"No, I'm not letting you leave without listening to my explanation," I protest, getting in the car with him.
He doesn't stop me nor argue anymore. Instead, he drives away and we sat in silence until we reached an abandoned parking lot by the closed down Wendy's where we used to hang.
He looks at me, dead in the eye.
"Then, explain."
"Okay, it wasn't what you think it was. Denver and I just talked. We talked in the library in silence, for a mere minute. And the minute you grumbled in; you began blaming me for non-existent problems!" I screamed, feeling my blood rush with adrenaline. I had a lot in my mind, and the accusations James was spewing was making me lose it.
"Oh, I believe you when you say nothing happened between you two," he replies, nonchalantly. "But you can't tell me they're nonexistent problems, Charlotte. You can't make a fool of me that way."
Shocked, I was left speechless.
"Can you look me in the eye, Char, and tell me with absolute certainty you have no feelings for Denver or whatsoever? Nothing at all?"
I looked him in the eye. But I wasn't able to utter those words. They weren't true, and it's unfair and selfish of me to say them to James without hurting the both of us.
"You can't, can you? Something might not have happened between you yet, but you want it, Lottie. More than you want me."
The car door clicks open and I get the hint he wanted me out.
"That's not true, James."
"Will you, for the love of God, just admit it already? You can't admit it to Denver, not to yourself, but damn, don't I deserve to be told the truth already? You are making this so much harder than it already is. I know you, Lottie. And I don't want to stop knowing you. But we need to stop kidding ourselves that this is working out."
I never wanted it to end this way. The day I said yes to James was unexpected. But more so this.
It ached. Every part of my body ached. I wanted to hug him. But I knew better than to inflict that kind of pain on him. I knew better than to remind him how good we had it between us. Especially, knowing I caused this. I wreaked havoc on our relationship. I drove us apart.
I step out of his car and he drove without so much a second glance at me.
The wind was chilly that afternoon. Or maybe it was the tears that escaped my eyes that made me feel cold.
After about five minutes of standing oddly in the middle of an abandoned parking lot while letting my tears fall to my cheeks, I picked myself up again.
Looking at my watch, it was half past four. B would be on her way out of school by now. I could call her but I didn't want to see her worrying about me. Her pity eyes on me the entire drive would kill me. Charles had study group. So, he was out of the choices.
That crossed off every name on my list.
I looked around and the neighborhood was pretty quiet. There wasn't a house adjacent. The nearest was a block away. And even it looked empty.
I did have Clara on my contacts. But she was a frenemy and I'd hate for her to see me in this mess. So, was Adrian. And boy, would he be happy to see me like this.
I continue to contemplate on who to call for a ride home. This was miles away from my house, and admittedly, it's a good location to talk with no distractions or in peace and quiet, but it was not a good location to walk during the night.
Not long after my contemplation, my phone rings with a message.
I look at it to see it was a message from Denver. The last person I'd want to hear from.
I'm sorry you got in trouble. hmu if u want someone to talk to - D
I didn't want someone to talk to. I wanted someone to come pick me up. My last resort would be my parents, but I prayed hard it wouldn't come to that.
I stood by the road, waiting for someone I know from school to drive by so I could ask for a ride.
Fifteen minutes had gone by and nada. There was no one.
- Writer
