The 4th CRIME

Chapter 17

"Let's discuss, better yet, let's debate," Mr Kim spoke as he sat down on the corner of his table and put the finished Othello book down before looking at the class, "what do you think led to Othello's downfall?" He paused as he looked around the class. 

Every student in the class, including myself raised their hands and he pointed a finger at one of the boys, "his insecurities," the boy spoke and Mr Kim raised an eyebrow. 

"Insecurities? What kind of insecurities?" 

"Insecurities based on the fact that even though he held such a high position, he was still very much an outcast because of him being black and everyone being white around him. Also, he was married to a beautiful white woman, who I'm certain he didn't think that he was the perfect man for her," the boy said and I turned my head to see who it was before I looked back to the front. 

Mr Kim made a thinking face before nodding, "so insecurities led to his downfall?" He asked the boy. 

"No, what I meant was, his insecurities led to his jealousy which was ultimately his downfall." 

"Ok, ok," he nodded and then rubbed his chin before looking down on the floor, "let's talk about Desdemona," he cleared his throat, "did she not lead him to believe that she was having an affair with Cassio, his best friend? Always talking about him, and asking Othello to give him back his position? I believe that Desdemona's naivety also led to her own downfall, what do you believe?" He asked and I, along with the rest of the class raised their hands. 

He pointed his finger at me, "what do you believe, Natalya?" He asked me and I nodded. 

"I believe that you are wrong sir," I said to him. 

"Wrong?" He chuckled, "carry on." 

"Desdemona was always caring from the very beginning and loved Othello, dearly-" 

"How would he know that?' he countered. 

"She went against her own father, she went against her own people for Othello, surely that's more than enough proof that she loved him. She was a kind soul and would do anything for those that she cared for. Cassio was close to her and Othello because of their relationship, he was the one keeping their relationship hidden, and it would only be fitting of her to help him when he needed it most." 

Mr Kim made a thinking face before nodding slowly, "a bit rehearsed if you ask me, and too emotional," he said as he shook his head standing from the table, "don't take matters personal, Natalya. It is just a play." 

I gripped my pen tightly in my hand as I bit back my words and looked down at my table, fuming. He had just embarrassed me in front of the class and I was not happy. Emotional? Emotional my ass. 

Why must Desdemona be blamed for her own death? 

"I think that every one of them played a role in Othello's downfall," he kicked his heels together before putting both his hands in his pocket, "Desdemona, Emilia, especially Emilia. She gave Iago the handkerchief." 

I raised my hand again, and cleared my throat to get his attention. He looked at me and I gave him a straight face, "Emilia only done so to impress Iago. Throughout the play we see that she's constantly trying to please him and make him happy and proud of her, while he uses slang and derogative animal imagery to describe her role as a wife, and a woman, as well as describing other women." 

"Really?" He asked, sceptical, "is it really?" 

"Yes, it is," I said to him.

He shrugged, "I guess we're all entitled to our own opinions." 

I couldn't help the changing of my face as I looked at this man, "yes we are, but sometimes some opinions are wrong." 

"Such as?" He asked, folding his arms. 

"Such as your opinion of Desdemona leading to her own downfall." 

"Did she not constantly bring up the name of the very man she was accused of having an affair with?" He asked. 

"She was not having an affair with him though, and she was not aware of the accusations because she was loyal to her husband and only kept to herself and her lady in waiting." 

"But why didn't she stop when she saw that Othello was getting upset? Which woman speaks about another man in the presence of their husband unless there might be something going on?" 

"She was naïve-" 

"Exactly!" 

"You're not letting me finish, sir." 

"I'm not because you keep proving my point for me. Have I not spoken about her naivety?" 

"You said debate, sir, you're not debating. You just want your own opinions to be heard without listening to my thoughts and beliefs and that defeats the whole purpose." 

"So then what are your thoughts?" 

I just kept quiet, sitting up straighter in my chair as I proceeded to ignore the hell out of this man. It was evident he was very wrong in his "beliefs" and purposely trying to make me upset as he has been doing the past week. 

We haven't said a word to each other, but we argue like cat and dog during class. I think we've become very entertaining for the rest of the class because whenever he raised a topic, everyone kept quiet and leaned in to listen to the words that would be said. 

He said things he knew I disagreed with and then waited for me to reply and when I did, he would make it seem like I was being stupid and too emotional. It irked me and irritated me because I was giving this man so much power over me. 

I couldn't help it though. I wanted it to stop but it just wouldn't. All the time, he's there either before my eyes or in my mind and I hate how I can't get rid of him. 

The bell rang and I stood from my place as I walked to his table, where he sat at the corner of, talking to a few of the girl students who were blushing and smiling at the questions he asked. I ignored them like they weren't even there and faced off Mr Kim. 

"Mr Kim, do you have a problem with me?" I began and I watched as he raised an eyebrow and then looked at the girls around him. 

"Why don't you young ladies go to class," he said to them and smiled, they swooned, "alright, I'll see you all tomorrow. Please close the door behind you. I would like a moment with Natalya." 

"I asked you a question," I said to him as I stood in front of him crossing my arms underneath my breasts. 

"And I didn't answer," he shrugged and I glared at him. 

"Can you stop? I'm tired of this, I'm tired of you. Why are you doing this?" 

"It's not my fault that you're easily upset," he said as he leaned against his arm, "take it up with your therapist and not your English teacher."

I felt that burn and my face hardened, remembering who I was. 

"Why are you here, Natalya? Don't you have a class?"

I clenched my jaw, upset at the fact that I was upset that he was talking to me like this. Treating me like he hates me, like I irritated him or something and I bit my bottom lip. Strange sensation in my throat as it tightened and I looked up at him. 

I nodded, looking down at my feet before I turned around, deciding it best to leave. 

"Natalya," he called, but I didn't stop, "Natalya," he sounded closer but I didn't want him to see me. "Natalya," he said finally, stopping me as he stood against the door, stopping me from reaching it and opening the door to leave. 

"I'm sorry," he apologised, "I didn't mean to offend you or hurt you," he said. 

I nodded, not making eye contact with him. 

"Do you see the way that I'm apologising to you? Then, why can't you do the same thing for me?" 

"Because I didn't mean it," I said, clearing my throat and trying to sound somewhat powerful as I admit to whatever the hell I was feeling. 

"How am I supposed to know that?"

I held the back of my neck as I looked around the classroom, "can I just leave, please?" 

"I can't do this anymore, Natalya," he said as he pulled me into his arms, his hands on my waist as he held me close and I let out a soft gasp, my hands on his biceps. "I can't fight what I feel, and I would if you didn't feel the same but I know you do." 

"I don't." 

"You do, and you know it," he whispered out as he leaned down and pressed his lips to my ear. "You just refuse to admit it out loud, but you know it, and you know it well."