The 4th CRIME

Chapter 10

I haven't been to school in two days. I've been locked up in my bedroom, in my bed, under the covers. Mostly due to the unfortunate extreme period pains I go through every month. I can't walk, I can't eat because I throw up whatever I manage to get in and I can't sleep due to the immense pain. So I always spend my first three days of my period in a terribly intoxicated state to help numb the pain. 

Firstly, my mother tries everything in her power to make me feel better, no matter how many times we go to the doctor or go to different specialists, we always hear the same thing: "There's nothing we can do, it's normal". It sure doesn't feel normal. But it is what it is, so my mum managed to get the proper medication to numb the pain, which only lasts for an hour or two before the pains come back full force. 

Then my father tries to help, the best way that he can and the way he thinks is best is by actually intoxicating me.

So in the first three days of my menstruation, the problem isn't necessarily the period pains but the constant tablets I drink and the alcohol my father slips to me to help me forget about the pain and just lay there in my bed. 

The other reason I haven't gone to school, or more properly to say, the reason I was so glad that I had gotten my period and was now missing school at such a perfect time is because Mr Kim nearly kissed me and I nearly let him. 

I didn't even have enough time to concentrate on the pain because I was too busy thinking about Mr Kim and how close he was to kissing me. He had been the one who brought the bicycle, he had been the one who took my hand and he had been the one who leaned in first. 

I just couldn't get over how I had almost allowed him to kiss me. 

I cleared my throat as I stood up from bed, wrapping my arms around my torso as I walked to my bedroom door, and locked it. I went over to my TV and changed it to the music channel as I raised the volume and danced to one of my favourite songs.

As I danced I took off my joggers and tossed them to the corner of the room, left in my tank top and my panties as I ran my hands through my hair, moving my hips and dancing to the music. I closed my eyes, smiling as I picked up the whiskey glass I had placed on the table in front of the TV and drank the remaining alcohol. My face scrunched up as I let out a sigh of satisfaction at the burn of the liquid. 

I raised the volume even higher as I sang along to the song and then moonwalked to my huge walk in closet and then looked at my feet where a black suitcase was. I grinned as I looked at it and then pulled it out, crouching down as I unzipped it and looked at the merchandise inside the suitcase. I bit my lip, unable to stop my excitement when I saw the injection along with my favourite drug in the world, the drug I just couldn't leave no matter how hard I tried. 

Heroin. 

I visibly shivered as I looked at how much I had left and couldn't wait to inject myself so I can get the familiar feeling of that high that I didn't want to come down from. My hands shook but I worked carefully, taking my time to make sure that I used it wisely. 

I could barely suppress my moan of pleasure as my eyes rolled to the back of my head when I injected it into my arm, smiling when I got the perfect spot and I immediately felt it take effect. 

I took out the injection quickly, cleaning it with unsteady hands and sanitary wipes before closing the suitcase but before I could place it back inside my closet my head felt too heavy on my neck and I began to get dizzy as I stumbled to my bed and laid down on my back looking up at the beautiful ceiling and the chandelier dangling above. 

I loved the high that I got from heroin, weed didn't compare to the amazing feeling of this drug. I could feel it in my blood, I could feel it clouding my senses, I could feel myself losing control and then all of sudden, just, bliss. 

Oh the world I was pulled into was unlike anything I've ever felt before. I've tried every drug there is, Krokodil scared me but heroin, heroin just called out to me. I tried to stop but whenever I walked past my closet it called out my name, telling me to just inject one more time and then never again. Yet never again, was just until tomorrow and then I was back on it. 

My brain began to cloud with thoughts of a certain man, a man older than I was, a man who happened to be my teacher. I bit my bottom lip, feeling multiple giggles slip past my lips as I thought of his good looks and charm. I ran my hands over my body as I thought of him doing that to me. 

I could see his smile. Why did I ever stop him from kissing me? I should've just let him and gosh, such a naughty thing to do. 

I moaned at that thought and then giggled getting lost in my giggles and squeals as I thought of him some more. 

I thought of his eyes, I thought of his hair, I thought of his body, his hands, his laugh, his smile, his chuckle, his teaching...I thought of him. 

He was such an open book. I know that he has a girlfriend that he's planning on proposing to. I know he's always been top of the class and he's always wanted to be a teacher, despite his family being dentists. I know he's one of three children and I know he's the middle child and only son in between two girls who are both now married into wealth. 

He's always had girls crushing on him, girls constantly throwing themselves on him and he fell in love with one of the popular girls and he's been with her ever since. A lady named Mee who was an accountant. 

Well clearly he wasn't very much in love with her if he tried to kiss me, I thought with a sigh as I ran my hands through my braids, taking one and twirling it around my finger as I enjoyed my forbidden thoughts. 

It was so wrong of me to think the way I was but I couldn't help it as my thoughts went from his smile to his lips to his hands. Is this what it felt like to have a crush? Is it even a crush? What is a crush? Crushes are for silly little girls! I'm not a silly little girl, I'm a killer who thrives on the pain of others. I don't have the time to be crushing on my English teacher who happened to be 15 years older than me. 

Of course I didn't ever see myself with a boy my age, hell, I'm sure I was going to end up with a mature man who would be older than me but not 15 years older. That's just...naughty. 

What will I do to make him fall in love with me? Shorten my jumper skirt? Open my legs whenever he walked past? Touch him secretly in front of the other students but so subtle that he thinks it didn't happen? 

I chuckled at the thoughts because I don't know whether to blame the heroin or my periods about all of these thoughts. 

I felt fatigue wash over me in a darkened heavy blanket, forcing my eyes shut and a wide smile on my face as I felt my heart rate and breathing rate decreasing. 

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