It was a blur. Maybe because i had nothing to look forward to afterwards, but still i refused to tuck my chin in defeat i had made it through college and if Gran could see me now she would be smiling ear to ear that alone got me through the ceremony that and Shana and George's support. The morning had started out pretty simple with Samantha storming in with a large rolling bag which just contained her dress and makeup much to my surprise. When she saw my dress she had been quiet for a while then shrugged saying it was a pass before pulling hers out from her box. It was a pretty red dress although it looked hella slutty to me Sam was able to pull it off without it looking inappropriate. She did my makeup and had my hair up in some fancy bun with whispy curls cascading down, by the time we were ready i looked like a different person, like a beautiful woman. I had paired my dress with a simple necklace with a purple stone pendant, a silver clutch bag and light purple coloured heels. Sam had her blond hair flowing in bouncy curls and she looked breathtaking. Sam always had that appeal to send one into speechless when she went on full glam mode.
The ceremony started off a bit dull but anxiety kept me alert, the moment i heard my name i had walked up praying to everything holy that i don't trip due to the nerves, stairs and i were never friends even on a normal day. At the end of the ceremony i spot jonny making his way towards me, smiling i approach him
“Hey. Jonny! You came"
“Wouldn't miss it"
My eyes tear up, he was probably the only familiar face in that mass of crowd
“Thank you"
He pulls me in for a hug “Dont cry Abby, you're gonna spoil that flawless makeup plus i don't know how to handle tears well"
I laugh and pull back “Sorry "
“Its fine. I'm happy for you Abby"
“Thanks jonny, this means a lot" i pause looking behind him maybe just maybe.....
“He's not here"
I inhale sharply and nod. I wasn't surprised but i had hoped. It hurt.
“You dont mind if we take a couple pictures right" he gives me a boyish smile
I laugh “Not at all"
The next few minutes go with us taking pictures and him taking some of me i could show to Shana and George
“Well I'll leave you to catch up with friends, i just stayed to say congratulations personally and create a few memories. I have a shift in the next 30 minutes so i gotta beat it"
Friends? I simply nod “Thanks again Jonny"
“Its nothing Abby. Have a blast today you deserve it. See you later" he waves as he leaves.
I stare around me and spot families and friends with graduating students and bile rises up my throat, i make a beeline for the parking lot and lean against my trust wheezing, it was getting harder to breath. My hand fumbles with my clutch bag majority of its contents pouring on the ground before I locate my inhaler, I shake it then take a deep inhale through my mouth then another and the shaking reduces as well as the difficulty to breath. Exhausted i gather my properties from the floor and climb in resting my head on the wheel. It's not until i notice the liquid patch on my dress and my ear finally picks up the heavy fat sobs being released from my mouth do i realize that im crying and i compose myself . Good heavens did it hurt and i thought i was way over it, i missed Gran.
I wipe my eyes and stare ahead of me, people were beginning to enter the parking lot for pictures i wanted to just curl up in bed and sleep it was well after 2pm and the after party at the prestigious club wasn't until 8pm. Putting the truck in reverse i pull out the parking lot and head back to my dorm room. Walking in i head straight to my room kicking off my heals and dropping on my bed clothes and all. I curl into a fetal position and let the exhaustion hit me. I'm out within minutes.