NOT SO SUBTLE

Chapter 4

San bows to the older boy and Jisung bows back with a small smile tugging at his lips.

“You must be San” Jisung says, his voice low and nice that San actually tries to smile as a way to approve the raspiness to the tone of his voice.

He’s never stood so close to Jisung before, the most popular idol. Crazy vocals even as he’s his group’s rapper, perfect dance moves and a producer too.

San being the main vocalist in his group feels so small in front of him and Jisung is only 181cm, just a tad bit taller than San.

San admits that the boy is gorgeous, his pictures he’s seen doesn’t do justice to his perfect jaw and that noticeable scar at the side of his cheek. His prominent nose, small eyes and eyebrows perfectly full and shaped. Even a a small opening at the middle and then his earrings shining. He heard the boy loved pain, getting piercings done and that he had tattoos on other parts of his body and San suddenly has the urge to see them.

Scan scans the boy over and he just thinks, he fits the korea beauty standard perfectly although Jisung wasn’t pale in anyway. His golden skin was beautiful and his body proportion was even better, nice build and San says to himself to make sure he looks for pictures or videos of the boy shirtless, he’s sure he’ll find some on the net.

“are you done checking me out?, you’re not so subtle about it y’know” Jisung says, smiling at San and the boy bows as if to apologise for staring for too long.

“Sorry” San says quietly

“It’s fine” Jisung says, looking at the boy and thinks he’s really as pretty as the pictures say about him, prettier even. Jisung’s eyes lands on the wound at the right side of his eyes and he reaches out to stroke the wound and San winces at the pain.

“Are you okay? that looks pretty bad” Jisung says, actually worried since the wound was still bleeding.

“It’s fine, it hurts less than hearing people curse at me” San says chuckling awkwardly.

“Can you come with me? i’ll take you somewhere quiet and i’ll help clean your wound” Jisung says and San wants to decline the offer but he really wants to be away from the mess going on outside so he nods at the boy in front of him.

“Okay, but how do we get past the mob outside?” San asks and Jisung smirks.

“I know a secret passage out of the company”

“How do you know that and i don’t?” San says, his mood lightening as he follows Jisung down the hallway and they’re taking the stairs.

*

They both managed to slip away from the mob immediately they get outside, then Jisung takes San’s hand, surprising the boy and they both run off and into Jisung‘s car, breathing heavily.

As they get into the car, silence engulfs them before the sound of their satisfying laugh echoes in the car as they both try to catch their breath.

“That was fun” San says, his head throbbing and he groans, resting his head on the seat and Jisung notices how tired he is, probably has a headache so he pressed on a button by the side of the car and the seat San’s resting on jerks back, going down a bit so San could relax.

“Thanks, wake me up when we get to wherever you’re taking me?” San says and Jisung nods at him with a smile.

*

San feels a hand tapping him at the side and he opens his eyes, shutting them for a brief moment before he opens them again. Jisung is there, smiling at him and he lifts himself up, rubbing his eyes.

“Are we there?” San asks looking out of the window and around the new environment he’s never been in before and Jisung nods.

They get out of the car, San observes the duplex house painted a light shade of blue and green on some parts. The balcony replaced with a transparent glass and he smiles at the simplicity of the house, it was simple yet unique.

Jisung leads the way and he follows, walking into the house and his eyes glistening at the beauty of the interior decorations.

“What’s this place?” San asks as Jisung shrugs off his coat and San does the same, hanging them on a coat rack.

“My studio” Jisung says and San gawks at him, confused

“A duplex house like this is your studio?”

“It’s like my own personal space, i call it my studio since that’s what i pretty much do here, produce songs if i’m not at the dorm”

San nods at him and he takes a seat on a couch, sighing at the cool feeling.

“Want something to drink?” Jisung asks and San nods.

Now he’s here, he’s surprised how he casually followed another idol to his place, the same idol he’s rumoured to be dating.

He wants to laugh but his head is throbbing and Jisung notices, dropping the drinks on a small table and then rushing to a room.

He’s back with a first aid box and San smiles at the sight of him. The boy is unbelievably fine, the way his shirt seems like a second skin and you can barely tell if it’s not.

Jisung sets the box on the couch, then pushes a stool so he could sit in front of San.

Jisung dabs a cotton in alcohol and looks at San for permission to touch him and San nods, sitting up and scooting closer to make it easier for Jisung to reach his face.

Jisung rubs the alcohol dabbed cotton on his wound and San winces, Jisung chuckles at his reaction, using his other hand to push his hair behind his ear so he could look at the wound on the side of his eye properly.

“Sorry, it stings”

When he’s done, Jisung applies an ointment then finishes off with a baby blue plaster.

“Thank you” San says immediately the boy is finished and now packing the stuff back to the box.

San grabs a drink, opening it and gulping half of the content down.

“This feels refreshing” San says to himself in a low voice but Jisung heard him.

Jisung takes a seat beside him on the couch, resting his head on the hand of the couch while San was at the other side, doing the exact same thing.

“We’ve never spoken before today, how are we involved in a dating rumour?” Jisung asks, amusement laced in his tone.

San feels bad, dragging the poor boy into this whole mess just because his group needs the attention in other to promote them.

“I’m sorry, i’m sure this was the last thing you expected to happen this year” San says and Jisung shakes his head at him immediately.

“It’s not your fault and it’s exciting. Finally, something fun is happening”

“Exciting? to be in a dating rumour with another guy?”

“Uh huh, it’s not a big deal and you’re really attractive so i’m actually flattered that it’s you”

San chuckles at the compliment, downing the rest of his drink.

“Wouldn’t it be better if it was with a girl, maybe Yuna?”

“Yuna from GIX?”

“Yeah, she’s really pretty and every male idol kinda has eyes for her”

“Yeah she’s alright but no, i think it’s cool you’re the one. I’ve seen you a lot y’know, you always talked less, why’s that?”

“I don’t always have anything to say so i don’t talk much”

“I understand”

San’s phone vibrates in his pocket and he takes it out, seeing ‘Gerald Hyung’ flashing on the screen and he shuts his phone off.

“Wanna do something fun?” Jisung says and San turns to him and nods. Jisung gets up, walking towards the boy and taking his hand. it’s the second time Jisung is doing that and San doesn’t mind, he likes it.

Jisung guides him to another room where that’s a play station, it’s basically an arcade room. The room’s orange lights shimmering in ir and San actually gasps, walking into the room and observing it for a while.

“You have an arcade, inside your house?” San asks excitedly, grabbing a basketball and throwing into the net. The room is huge, there’s video games, car racing games where you can basically sit on a chair and control your own car. There’s a lot more including a Ps5 and San says to himself that he could really live here, forever.

“You sound excited” Jisung says from behind him and he nods, sitting on a small chair that has wheels on it.

“Yeah, it’s been so long since i had actual fun and i’m here, in an arcade. Your place is cool”

“Really? thanks”

*

Hours passed and it was dark outside, San was still playing all kinds of games in Jisung’s arcade room and the boy lets him, smiling at how excited San was to try out all the games.

He’s never seen him smile that much, even at award shows whenever they’re either taking an award of performing, he never smiled and if he did, it was strained, so obvious that it’s fake.

“I ordered food, do you want to keep playing or?”

“Give me two minutes, hmmm?” San says cutely and Jisung nods at him with a smile, walking back to the living room to set up the dining table.

Minutes later, San walks out of the arcade room, stretching as well.

“It’s six already? i played for four hours?” San says, shocked too as he joins Jisung at the dining.

“Did you have fun?” Jisung asks, passing him a plate full of tteokbokki and San nods, bowing to him.

“Thank you”

They both start to eat, small sounds emitting their mouths at how good the food tastes.

“I’m sure your members are worried about you, i can drive you back to your dorm” Jisung offers, his hand grabbing a tissue paper and lifting himself up a bit from his chair to wipe the sauce at the corners of San’s mouth, catching him off guard.

“Uh”

“You had a little something on the side of your lip, it’s gone though”

“Ah thank you. I’ll call them tomorrow instead and tell them i’m fine. I don’t really wanna worry them”

“I understand but being here and turning your phone off, i’m sure they’re really worried”

“Okay, i’ll call Gerald once i’m done eating”

At the mention of Gerald’s name, Jisung perks up, suddenly interested because he’s heard a lot about both of them being too close and very suspicious about their friendship.

“Gerald sunbae? you two must be really close”

San looks up, away from his food to look at Jisung and he smiles, dropping his chopsticks at the side of his bowl and nods.

“Yeah, he’s the closest person to me”

“I don’t know if this is going to sound uncomfortable but ughmm- uh nevermind. Now i think about the question in my head, it sounds creepy”

“You can ask me anything though, it’s really okay”

“No no, i’ll ask you next time”

“Next time?”

“Uh huh, i like you to not wanna see you again” The confession slips out of his mouth and the corners of his lips stretch into a smirk and San fights his own smile.

“I’ll give you my number then”

“Sounds delightful”

*

Jisung finally stops the car, just few blocks away from San’s dorm because San asked him to drop him off a bit farther away from the dorm so he could take his time and walk to the dorm and maybe clear his head.

“Thank you Sunbae, for today” San says with a small bow.

“You can call me hyung too y’know, i really don’t mind” Jisung says and he means it, he definitely prefers being called Hyung than Sunbae and so San agrees, it’s not that hard anyways.

“Okay hyung, i’ll be going now”

“Okay, i’ll call and text you” Jisung says and San nods, waving each other a small goodbye as San starts to walk away from him.

He’s a little bit close to the dorm when his phone vibrates in his pocket, he totally forgot to call Gerald and now he’s wondering if Gerald texted again after seeing tons of messages from him, the other members and their manager too.

He flips through the screen of his phone, gawking at an unknown number before his eyes scan through the message and he sees it’s Jisung. He glanced back, hoping to see him or his car still lingering at the place he dropped him off but he was already gone.

San stands at the door, scared to knock because he knows what’s waiting for him behind the door. Chan is definitely going to go on and on about how he makes others worried like this, vanish and never says a word till he winds up and still doesn’t say anything to anyone.

He’s learnt to cope that way, he knows it’s a bad habit to shut everyone off, his members and the few people he’s close with whenever he’s going through something, anything but he can’t help it. It’s not a surprise how people you open up to use them against you afterwards. He’s learnt things the hard way so he prefers keeping to himself, sometimes he wants to tell Gerald because he’s the only one that actually understands him but he decides against it every single time he forms up the courage.

He’s scared that Gerald will want nothing to do with him after he tells him the one thing that’s constantly eating him up.

He pushes the door bell once, twice, debating whether he should make a run for it or just suck it up and let them yell at him all they want.

The door opens, Daniel peeks outside the door and his eyes widen. He opens the door wider to let San in, smiling at him as if to reassure him that he doesn’t have to worry about anything.

San walks in, the tension of the room rising as his members stand there, watching him while he looks down to his feet and fidgets with his fingers.

“Are you okay?” Daniel is the first to speak, to ask and San nods quietly. He takes off his shoes, dropping them at the shoe rack where they left their outdoor shoes and flip flops, ones they didn’t wanna keep in their room.

He starts to walk to his room, still looking down and not bold enough to look at his members.

“San, where are you coming from?” Chan’s voice stops him in his tracks and he finally looks up, Sehun standing there and running his hands on his face from how frustrated he is.

“I just went to clear my head” San answers, now fully staring at Chan. He knows he won’t get away with any of it, he knows Chan will say something that’ll hurt him, something that’ll probably make him cry himself to sleep and he was ready for it.

Chan scoffs, his hands on his waist as his tongue pushes into the side of his cheeks and that’s an action he does whenever he’s trying to control his words, his anger.

“For six hours? do you know how worried we all were?. I’ve warned you about this stupid behaviour of yours. Shutting everybody off whenever you’re going through a difficult time, you’re not the only one going through stuff so why do you have to worry the rest of us?” Chan says, the annoyance hinted at his tone.

“Sorry” San mumbles and he hears shuffling before Chan is in front of him.

“Where were you?” Chan asks again, his eyes shooting daggers at San as if to scare him, frighten him into speaking the truth.

San doesn’t want to say, he can’t tell them the same person he’s rumoured to be dating was the only one who cared enough to take him away from the nonsense he tried to put up with.

He didn’t want them to know that he smiled so much today, being away from them and all the drama surrounding them.

“Nowhere hyung, i just wanted to get some air”

“Why did you turn your phone off?” Chan asks again, teeth gritted.

“No reason”

“What’s that blue plaster on your wound, who treated your wound?” Chan asks again.

“Nobody did”

“f*****g bastard!” Chan mutters, walking away from the scene and into his room, slamming the door in the process and San flinched, his hands sweating and sweat pooling on his forehead.

“San, just get some sleep, we’ll talk about this tomorrow”