Twenty-Six: Prince Cadoc
2103 Words
Chapter Twenty-Six
Prince Cadoc
I was drunk, and alone on my birthday. I had punched the boyfriend of the girl that I loved in the face. I had a bloody nose. It was also a new year, and I wasn’t speaking to my best friend because I had interfered with his dream job.
Gwyneth sat down next to me. “You commanded her?”
“She said,” I insisted.
“That was a challenge!” Gwyneth exclaimed. “To not be an asshole. You know why she won’t be with you? Because you act like she’s your property, and not someone that you love.”
“You never cared when I did that. In fact, it used to make you horny when I commanded you.”
“Yes, but I am f****d up,” said Gwyneth, “Penelope Peters isn’t f****d up. She’s sweet, dreamy, and idealistic. She wants to make the world a better place. She doesn’t want to receive orders like a soldier. She wants to be an equal.”
I wiped the blood from my nose. “I don’t deserve her.”
“No, you don’t,” Gwyneth agreed.
“What am I supposed to do? She’s never going to speak to me again.”
Gwyneth placed a hand on my shoulder. “You’re going to have to stay away from her.”
“How’s that help me?”
“Give her some freedom. Some independence. The reason that she keeps on running is because she feels like at any given moment, you’re going to send her to the tower. Let her be herself.”
“I don’t want to be away from her,” I said, “I want to be with her.”
“You will be,” she assured me, “but just not by making her. You can’t command love, Cadoc. She’s got to realize she loves you in her own time, and she might not be at the same place that you are right now.”
“I hate being away from her, Gwyn,” I said, “it aches. Every day, it’s like a punch in the chest. When I see her with someone else, it’s torture.”
Gwyneth sighed. “Poor Little Prince. Here’s what you’re going to do. First, you’re going to go talk to Seamus Flannigan. Apologize for punching him. Second, you are going to leave the party early. You are going to go home. You are going to write Penelope the most heartfelt letter that you’ve ever written. Apologizing for your behavior. You will give it to her then you will leave her alone.”
“Leave her alone?” I said. “That’s the exact opposite of what I want.”
“You know why she doesn’t want to be with you?”
“Because she’s in love with that singer prat?” I challenged.
“No, you i***t! It’s because she feels like she has no power in this relationship. You’ve left her defenseless, without any control, and Penelope Peters isn’t made to be controlled. She has a mind of her own, Cadoc. Until you learn to respect that you’re never going to have her because you can’t respect her. This isn’t about her feeling like she fits into your world. It’s about her feeling like she fits with you.”
“But she does,” I said, “perfectly, might I add.”
I could still remember the feel of being inside of her that summer night. The way she had wrapped so perfectly around me.
“Not as long as you treat her like a subject instead of a person,” said Gwyneth, “which is what you’ve been doing a lot lately. I suspect that’s why Jasper isn’t talking with you either.”
“I’m a Prince,” I insisted, “I’m a future King. You are my subjects.”
“That’s all you’ll ever have if you don’t change your way of thinking. At this rate, you could force Penelope to marry you and she still wouldn’t love you. Because she doesn’t respect you. Get her to respect you, and that’s how you’ll get the girl.”
“How do I do that?”
“Start by respecting her,” Gwyneth told me.
“By giving her space?” I hated saying those words out loud. Giving her space seemed like the most foolish thing that I could do. If I gave Penelope space, it wouldn’t be long until another Seamus Flannigan came into the world and tried to take her away.
Although I did like Gwyneth’s first idea, of commanding her to marry me….
But she was right. I wouldn’t win Penelope over like that. I had to show her that I was okay with her independence, that I wasn’t going to try to control her every move. I had to give her freedom.
I could do that.
Even if it would kill me to.
“Get up, sad boy,” said Gwyneth.
“It’s New Years. It’s my birthday. I shouldn’t have to do this. Say something dirty and spank me. That sounds like more fun.”
“Cadoc,” she grumbled.
“Fine. Where’s the wanker?”
“Seamus is right over there.” She gestured to the stage, where Seamus was sitting with a redheaded girl that was helping clean his face.
“f*****g hell,” Seamus Flannigan said upon seeing me. “Never would have thought I’d live to say that Prince Cadoc of Wales punched me. You’ve got a killer right hook, man.”
“Sorry,” I apologized, “I shouldn’t have hit you.”
He shrugged. “Nah, it’s alright. I shouldn’t have kissed Pen. You’ve got to understand. We’ve known each other since we were like six. She’s been to every single one of my gigs. Her kissing me, it was just for good luck. She always does it.”
“Always?” I said.
He put his hands up. “Not anymore. I’ll tell her.”
I shrugged. “No, it’s okay. She’s not mine. She can kiss whoever the hell she wants.”
He laughed. “Yeah, yeah sure. Which is why you punched me. I know all about last summer. You were her first, right?”
“Right,” I said. “She told you about that?”
“Well, you were the reason that we broke up. So yeah, she told me about it. Listen mate, I get it. If it were anyone else, I might not get it. But you are the Prince of Wales, so I’ll let it slide.”
I ran a hand through my blond hair. “I feel like I should let you punch me.”
He put his hand up. “I’m okay. It’s fine. Just….you’re gonna treat her right, yeah?”
I sighed. “I’m going to try, Seamus. I’m really going to try.”
“Good,” he said, “I’d threaten to kill you and whatnot, but that’s treason, so I’m just gonna go play my set. Happy Birthday.”
“Thanks,” I said, “you swear that you don’t have any feelings left over for her?”
“Well, I’m always going to care for her,” said Seamus, running a hand through his sandy blond hair, “but she’s not in my future. I’m not in hers. But we’re always going to be part of each other’s histories.”
“Alright,” I said, “alright.”
“She’s a good girl, mate,” said Seamus, “you take care of her?”
“I’m going to try,” I said.
I slipped out of my own birthday and I found myself headed back to my off-campus apartment. I remembered Gwyneth’s words, and I wrote a letter to Penelope. Complete with my official wax seal.
Dear Pen,
I thought love was as simple as wanting someone the most. I’ve realized since knowing you that is not the case. You can desire someone but if you don’t desire what’s best for them as well then desire is meaningless. Because if love were as simple as wanting, we would be together already. Because no one wants you more in the universe then I do. Love is about respecting the wishes of someone, even if their desires might conflict with your own.
I haven’t been listening to you. When you said you wanted to be with Jasper, I pushed the two of you apart. When you said you weren’t ready to be with me, I rushed everything. I tried to jump when I should have slowed down.
I want what’s best for you. For us. If that means that we have to be apart right now, then I’m alright with that. I want you to find who you are. I just hope that you’ll find room for me once you do.
Forever and a day,
His Royal Highness
Prince Cadoc of Wales
I took the letter, and the Christmas present that I’d gotten her to the dorm the next morning. New Years. I was seventeen now. We had two more years to go. Until she could either give me her heart or give up.
Just as I was about to leave the letter, and the gift, the door opened. Penelope stood there staring at me. She was wearing jogging sweats, her brown hair pulled back in a hairband. Her face fell when she saw me.
“What are you doing here, Cadoc?” she said. “Going to punch someone else I care about?”
I shook my head. “No. I’m not here to punch anyone, Penelope. I’m here to tell you that I’m letting you go.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You don’t let anyone go. You bend them to your will until you get what you want.”
“Gwyneth told me I was being like my father,” I told her. “That I was treating the people I cared about more like subjects then people. I don’t ever mean to get like that but it’s difficult because I am a Prince, Penelope. I’m a future King. I’m supposed to give orders. But I don’t want you to ever feel like…. like I’m forcing you to be with me because I’m the Prince. I want you to be with me, because you want me. If that means I must let you go for right now, then I’ll let you go. Just know that when you’re ready to be with me, if you ever are, I am here. Ready and waiting.”
She stared at me; her face unreadable. “We’re always going to come back to each other, aren’t we?”
“One can only hope, Pen,” I said, “one can only hope.”
I stepped forward, taking her hand in mine. I pressed my forehead to hers. Hollow Hills Academy was ancient, made of stone, and in the early morning it “The letters yours, and the gift is for you whenever you’re ready. Happy New Year, Penelope.”
She blushed. “Happy birthday, Cadoc.”
I kissed her on the cheek, then left her alone, with the gift and the letter. I didn’t stay long enough to see if she opened either of them.
- Writer
