Royals and Rebels 2: Love and War

Seventeen: Penelope Peters

Chapter Seventeen

Penelope Peters

Princess Arwen was standing in front of me. I had grown up seeing her on the news, in the papers, and in person she was even more pretty. Somehow, she was more intimidating then her younger brother. Cadoc, I saw in class every day. Cadoc, I had once seen drunk, puking in my room. Princess Arwen was an otherworldly figure who I didn’t know up close and personal. She looked me up and down, with a smile on her face.

“Well, you’re gorgeous,” she said, “I can see why Cadoc’s been so fixated on you.”

I blushed. “Um, thank you,” I said, “but I’m not that special.”

“She’s being modest,” said Cadoc, “I wouldn’t be pining after someone who was unremarkable. You’re remarkable, in many, many ways.”

I shook my head. I didn’t know what he was talking about. Nothing since my coming to Hollow Hills Academy had made sense. Especially everything that had happened with Cadoc. “You’re insane.”

“Well, I suspect that’s why you like me,” he said. He smiled roguishly.

“Partly,” I said, “although who said I liked you?”

Arwen chuckled. “Oh, you’re going to do fine. Cadoc tells me that you’re a writer?”

I nodded. “I want to go to Oxford, and study literature. That’s why I chose to attend Hollow Hills when it became an option.”

“You should meet Margot March, she’s the---”

“Editor of Couture Magazine,” I finished, “she’s amazing!”

Arwen smiled. “I’d be happy to make an introduction. She helped me arrange the designers for the show. She knows everything there is to know about design.”

I glanced at Cadoc. “Is that okay?”

“It’s okay,” said Cadoc, “I’m not your keeper, you know. You can do what you want. We’re friends, after all. Per your request.”

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t be petty.”

“I’m royal, it’s in my blood to be petty,” he smirked, “enjoy yourself. I am going to have some fun. Arwen, don’t corrupt her too much.”

She laughed. “No, that’s your job.”

“Exactly.” He smirked. I caught a twinkle in his eyes, and I thought for a moment that he was going to kiss me. I wondered if it was wrong that I wanted him to, when we weren’t together, and I’d broken up with my own boyfriend not so long ago.

But I found myself being dragged away from him by Arwen. Off to a corner where Margot March was chatting in French to someone. While looking fabulous, drinking champagne, and smoking a cigarette.

She was a tall, skinny blond woman wearing a black, strappy dress. “Margot!” Arwen called.

The woman glanced over, looked at me, and I smiled nervously. Margot March was a Welsh legend. She was the first, female editor of Couture magazine in its fifty-year existence. She had taken over when she was twenty-one. She had so many awards for journalism to her name that the rumor was that she had an entire closet for them.

“Your highness!” Margot smiled, and air kissed Princess Arwen on both cheeks.

Arwen smiled. “Did you enjoy the show?”

“Excellent, as always,” she said. She paused, her gaze zeroing in on me and I wanted to hide behind the nearest pillar. “You look familiar. Have I seen you somewhere before?”

I laughed nervously. “Probably not, unless you’ve spent a lot of time in Hay-On-The-Wye.”

“No. There were pictures of you recently in Welsh Weekly weren’t there?” She tilted her head, and I just coughed.

Arwen smiled. “This is Penelope Peters, Margot. She’s a friend of Cadoc’s from school. You saw those great pictures of them studying together.”

“Emily Dickinson,” I said, “we were just looking at poetry for class. That’s it.”

Margot raised an eyebrow. “Ah. Well, I’ve always been a great admirer of Dickinson myself. What one was it?”

“I felt a funeral in my brain,” I replied, “we were talking about art, and mental health. Not exactly the stuff of romance the papers wanted it to be.”

Margot scrunched up her face, titled her head to the side then looked from me to Arwen. “Ah. And Arwen, what’s your opinion on the matter?”

Arwen glanced at me, a smirk on her face that was so much like her brothers I couldn’t help but be worried. “They’re just dear friends. For now. But they make a wonderful team. Penelope’s desperate to become a writer.”

That caught Margot’s attention, and she fixed her gaze back on me. “A writer? What do you write?”

“Fiction, mostly,” I said, “short stories, novels, some poetry. I just like being able to express myself. I grew up in a town made of books, it was only natural for me to be fascinated by words.”

“What are you doing this summer?”

“Going home, I expect,” I said.

“Not anymore,” she pulled out a business card from her purse, a sleek, black thing with gold clasps, “we’ve an internship program for students. It’s three months. At the end of it, there’s an awards ceremony and a scholarship is given to our best worker. Send me your application directly, and I’ll put in a good word.”

I took her card from her. “Oh my gosh! Really?”

“Really,” she said, “any friend of the Prince and Princess is a friend of mine.”

“Thanks!” I said. “Thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome,” she said, “I look forward to seeing you again, Penelope.”

Arwen clapped her hands together. “Wonderful! That’s excellent news. You’ll have a fabulous time, and you can stay in Owaine for the summer.”

I hugged her. “Thank you!”

She laughed. “I didn’t do anything. Margot knows talent when she sees it.”

“That’s true,” said Margot, “Arwen, dear, you’re going to be on our July cover aren’t you?”

“Oh yes,” she said, “of course! I’m going to be talking about my education initiative. You know, Penelope is part of the first generation of girls to be officially admitted to Hollow Hills Academy in over 500 years as part of their new co-ed program. She’s also a scholarship student. She’d be one of the people the initiative would help. It might be a good idea to showcase her, also? Only if you are up for it.” She looked back at me.

I couldn’t help but feel like I’d been shanghaied somehow. That this was all part of Cadoc’s plan to push me into society, into his world, and lock me up in a tower somewhere for the rest of my life. But the card in my hand felt like too much of an opportunity to pass up, and all I could do was smile.

“Sure,” I agreed, “sounds lovely.”

“Excellent!” Arwen said. “We’ll even take a few pictures of your days at Hollow Hills. Follow you around. Show them the progress that’s being made by opening up doors that weren’t before.”

“I love that idea,” said Margot, “sounds fantastic.”

“Great. Fantastic,” I said. I searched the room for Cadoc and found him over at the bar talking with Gwyneth. His gaze met mine, and he toasted the champagne glass in his hand in my direction, a knowing smirk on his face.

The same one that his sister had had.

Well, he had said that he had wanted me to know his world. To understand it so that I could see if I even wanted to be with him. He was pulling out all the stops, and I just had to decide if I wanted to let him sweep me away in it.

Even with the card in my hand, I didn’t know.

I excused myself, and went outside, just to get a breath of fresh air. I took my cell phone out, and I called a number I shouldn’t have even been thinking about. Jaspers.

He answered on the first ring. “Pen?”

“Hey,” I said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called….”

“No, no, it’s okay. Are you alright? Is Cadoc? Aren’t you supposed to be at the fashion show with him?”

“Yes,” I answered, and I could hear the wavering in my voice.

There was a long pause. “You okay?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted, “are you free?”

“Well, I’ve got training tonight but I can put it off if I need to. What’s up?”

“Come get me?” I begged.

I didn’t know where this was coming from. I just knew that by being in that room, in the dress that I had on, accepting business cards from people I never would have met otherwise, I felt like I was saying yes to something I didn’t know I was ready to accept. I needed a chance to think, to breathe, and to be around someone who could make sense of the mess that I had just entered into. Jasper was the only person I could think of who was in it, but not of it, that would understand.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Just hang around the back entrance of the museum, yeah? I’ll let Cadoc know.”

“Thanks.”

I knew he had to, because it was his job, but part of me wished that Cadoc wouldn’t know. That I could just make a clean escape without anyone having any idea. But I understood that wasn’t how Cadoc’s world worked. He always had to know.

I walked around to the back and waited for about ten minutes. There was the low rumbling of a car’s engine, and Jasper pulled up in a red Maserati.

“Hello, gorgeous,” he said, “need a getaway car?”

He revved the engine, making me smile, and I got in on the passenger’s side. I slammed the door shut and put the seat belt on. I could feel his gaze on me.

“You okay?” he asked.

I closed my eyes and leaned back against the car seat. “I’m starving,” I admitted, “they serve nothing but really small portions there.”

He chuckled. “Let’s get some food in you then. I know a place.”

He drove, the music playing an indie rock song I’d never heard of before, “Would you dance with the dust to fly with the fairies? Shimmy with a stripe to stay up all night. We are the youth of a young age, we are the youth of a young age….”

He pulled up to the parking lot of the Nando’s that we had gone to a few times. I felt ridiculous going inside wearing a sparkling dress, but Jasper convinced me anyway and we got a bunch of food to share. Along with two cokes, and I downed mine greedily.

I had had nothing but champagne, and while it was fancy, I was ridiculously thirsty and a little lightheaded from it.

I could feel Jasper looking at me as I drank, while he bit into a piece of chicken.

“So,” he said finally, “you going to talk or did you invite me here just to watch you eat? I could do that, but I don’t know how beneficial that would be to you.”

I sighed and put the drink down. “How do you deal with it?”

He scratched his forehead. “Deal with what?”

“Them,” I answered, “I feel like they’re plotting my whole life out for me. Yes, they got me an internship, which is great- “

“That is great,” he said, “where at?”

“Couture,” I said, “with Margot March.”

“That’s awesome,” he said, “isn’t it?”

“It also means I have to do some kind of photoshoot for Arwen.”

“Ah,” Jaspers face fell, as if he knew exactly what I was talking about, “well, that’s kind of how this world works. It’s not about what you can offer them, it’s about what they can offer you. If they offer you anything at all. How do you think I wound up going to a private school for Princes and future Presidents?”

My shoulders sagged. “How do you even keep your own mind in a world like that though?”

“Easy,” he said, “just be honest. They appreciate that. Especially Cadoc. That’s why he likes you, you know. You weren’t even mildly impressed with his rescue that first day. He was so pissed off about it for days on end. If they think they own you, they’ll control every detail of your life.”

“I don’t want to be owned,” I said, “I want to be me. I want to have my freedom.”

“Well, if you’re going to be part of Cadoc’s world, you’ve got to learn that there are some things that you can’t control. But, if you want a bit of your independence, you don’t have to take the internship.”

“I’m never going to get an internship opportunity like this again,” I said, “it’s too big of a deal to pass up, and I don’t want to piss off Cadoc.”

“You can’t spend your entire career at Hollow Hills wondering if you’re going to piss off Cadoc. He’s a Prince, yes, but at some point he has to accept that he doesn’t control everything. Even if he controls everything.”

“Comforting,” I said, “you’ve dealt with him before in situations like this. What do I do? Do I take the internship?”

“You care for him?” he asked.

I sighed. How did I explain what it felt like to be around Cadoc? I took a sip of my coke, and chewed absent mindedly on my straw, trying to find the words. “It’s kind of like having a walking fantasy takes notice of you. People talk about men like Cadoc all of the time, and you never think they’re going to notice you. Then, when they do, all you want to do is stay in their orbit.”

“But do you care for him?”

I thought about him, coming, stumbling drunk into my room on the first date that I had with Jasper. I thought about him sneaking me onto Jaspers hidden, guard camp just so I could see him. About the lengths he was going to so that he could make sure that I fit into his world and that I didn’t feel like an outsider.

“I really want to. He’s…. like a drug,” I said, “is that stupid?”

Jasper laughed. “No. I get it. That’s what happens. You bask in the glow of greatness, and you don’t want to let go. But you only hang on if that’s what’s right for you. Cadoc’s part of the reason I got kicked out of Sweden.”

“You got kicked out of Sweden?” I asked.

He chuckled. “Officially, no, unofficially, yes.”

“How do you deal with him?” I asked.

“Well, when he gets really excited about something, I usually distract him with food or beer,” he admitted, “however I believe that you have other, more efficient ways that you can distract him.”

I laughed. “Probably. But I’m keeping alcohol and food option open just incase I don’t want to use my womanly wiles yet.”

“Look, you’ll be fine. Cadoc wouldn’t be going to ends of the earth for you if he didn’t think that there was something there between you. And there is.”

“Everyone keeps on saying that. Just because I don’t cower around him doesn’t mean we’re a love match.”

“No, but it does mean that you’re someone special. Even if this whole thing doesn’t result in you being Queen of Wales, you should at least hang onto him. He’s a good guy, Pen.”

“Was he really a good guy when he interfered with us?”

Jasper sighed. “We weren’t meant to be. Maybe in another lifetime, but not this one.”

I sighed. “I should just run away.”

“Wouldn’t try---he’d find you.”

“I know,” I muttered.

It only half bothered me.

Jasper ran a hand through his hair. “Listen, why don’t I take you back to the dorms? The whole point of you two not dating right now is so that you don’t have to make any rash decisions. You’ve got three years. You can make it.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this, you know,” I said, “I was supposed to come to school, battle off some bullies, and graduate. I wasn’t supposed to have the Prince of Wales as my designated Prince in Shining Armor. I blame you.”

He chuckled. “Cadoc would have found you sooner or later. Just be glad it was sooner, because if anyone else had gotten to you first besides me well I don’t think they would have lasted. Addington’s still pissed because he’s been blacklisted from all of the Royal events because of you.”

That news startled me. “Is he really?”

Jasper nodded. “He wouldn’t stop ranting about it the last time we fucked.”

I coughed. “What?”

Jasper smirked. “You didn’t realize I was bi, did you?”

“You never brought it up!” I blurted. “Was that why you punched Addington?”

“Perhaps,” he said, “also, you were worth it. You just looked so dreamy and lost. I couldn’t let you get taken advantage of. He’s a prick, and he knows better. Besides, if it didn’t happen with you it would have happened with another girl who wasn’t as gutsy. I’m surprised, really. The whole schools been super quiet for a while now.”

“Addington still takes every chance he can to be annoying, he’s just not blunt about it,” I reminded him.

“I don’t know. Before the school board voted to go co-ed, there were some threats from a group called The Royalists. I just thought that things would be a lot worse.”

“The Royalists,” I said, “the group of revolutionaries from Coleum?”

“No,” said Jasper, “that’s The Guillotine. The Guillotine was more about destruction of the monarchy, the royalists is about keeping it together. Also keeping Princess Arwen from taking the throne.”

I bristled at that. “All about the male heir, huh?”

“Unfortunately,” he said, “but you didn’t hear that from me.”

“You think Arwen should be next in line?”

He shrugged. “I don’t make the rules.”

“I suppose not.”

“Come on,” he said, “whenever you make up your mind about Cadoc, it’s not going to be after eating at a Nando’s. Let’s get you back to campus.”

He drove me back to campus, this time in silence. I thanked him as I got out of the car, and when I got back to my dorm that I was unsurprised to find Cadoc leaning up against the door waiting for me.

He looked over at me, as if he were a lost puppy. “Is this the part where you tell me that you’re riding off into the sunset with Jasper? Because if you are, I might as well just hang myself now.”

I scowled. “Don’t even joke about that.”

“I thought I was doing something good,” he said, “the internships a big deal, and Arwen just wants to get you involved in our world. How did I screw up?”

I placed my hand on his cheek. “You didn’t screw up. Everything was perfect. This world you’re in though, it’s too big, too bold, and I just don’t know how to make myself fit yet. But I’m not going to stop trying.”

His face perked up a little. “You’re not?”

“I’m not,” I said, “I love that you want to offer me the world. It’s one of the things that makes me stick around. I just…. I don’t know how to give you anything close to what you’re giving me.”

“I can think of one thing,” he said, “just for a start.”

“Don’t say a kiss. I’m still drunk off of champagne, and that’s just not fair.”

He smiled. “Fine, no kiss. I just want to stay with you. I’m dead tired, and I can’t stomach going back to my place alone.”

“Audrey will be back soon,” I reminded him, “shouldn’t she be back now?”

He shook his head. “She’s staying at Gwyneth’s. They went to her home for the weekend. They do it every fashion show. They would have invited you, but you disappeared.”

“I’m sorry,” I apologized, “it wasn’t anything that you did. Or the evening. Or anything like that. It’s just that I felt lost for a moment, but now I’m back, and I’m ready to be your….” I couldn’t finish the sentence.

Friend seemed wrong, but we weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend either.

“I get it,” he said, “now, about my coming in…”

I smiled, took out my dorm key, and let myself in. He followed, shortly after. I probably should have done something, anything else besides letting him in. Having him come into my room, even if it was just to sleep, was crossing into territory that I didn’t know if I was ready for or not.

But it didn’t matter. We were tired. Tired in the kind of way that happens after a long, mad, day of running around after a big event. Late at night, early morning. I fell asleep breathing in the smell of his cologne, listening to the sound of his heartbeat, and wrapped in his arms. It was the best night’s sleep I had ever had.