Without Sin

Chapter 3-1

Chapter 3

“You know he’s gay,” Mike says at lunch. He’s talking about Avery. The way he says it makes his friends laugh, as if liking other boys is a bad thing.

Jacob glares at his roommate across the table. “You don’t even know him.”

Jacob’s voice holds that undercurrent of anger that Mike will learn about soon enough. It’s the anger that got Jacob kicked out of the public high school last year, when one of the other freshman thought it would be cute to call him a fag.

That had been in the boys’ locker room after P.E. The kid had spent the next hour in the nurse’s office, waiting for his mom to pick him up. He’d needed five stitches across his forehead where Jacob had rammed him into one of the faucets in the showers.

Jacob had spent the rest of the day in the principal’s office, listening as “Dirty Harry” explained to his parents how horrible a child he could be. His therapist had been there, too. She hadn’t mentioned then that he was brilliant and bored. She had just nodded in all the right places, and when Jacob left the school, he had been told not to come back.

But Mike doesn’t catch the anger in Jacob’s voice, mostly because he probably doesn’t know it’s there. He shrugs and bites into his hamburger. “I’m just saying, rumor has it.”

“He likes it up the ass,” another kid says, some freshman named Trevor something or other, who’s decided Mike’s cool just because he’s a grade older and talks a good game. Jacob doesn’t know where Mike finds them, but he won’t be sitting here again tomorrow.

When Trevor leans over and winks at Jacob, a stupid grin on his face like he knows Jacob will get his joke, Jacob grabs his collar and hauls him across the table.

Fear flickers in Trevor’s eyes. He grapples with Jacob’s hand at his neck, but Jacob has had more experience with this sort of bullshit and Trevor can’t pry Jacob’s fingers loose. Mike’s watching with wide eyes. “Shut the f**k up,” Jacob growls.

“I didn’t—” Trevor chokes, but Jacob shakes him until the words dry up.

Mike looks around, suddenly scared. “Jacob,” he warns.

“Take it back,” Jacob tells Trevor.

When Trevor shakes his head, Jacob pulls Trevor’s shirt tighter around his neck. His face is turning a deep red, almost purple, and Jacob wants to hurt him for talking about Avery. Jacob bares perfect white teeth as if he were a lion and about to bite the kid’s nose off, then snarls, “I said—”

“Okay,” Trevor says. “Jeez, okay, I take it back. You happy? I take it back.”

From the corner of his eye, Jacob sees one of the nuns heading his way. He releases Trevor, making the kid stumble from the table. Trevor lands on the floor with a thud that had to hurt and looks up at Jacob with wounded eyes. Then his gaze shifts to Mike as if asking for help, but Mike’s not looking his way. Mike’s staring at his plate, ignoring them both.

“Keep your goddamn mouth shut.” Jacob realizes the whole cafeteria has fallen silent. Everyone’s looking at them, even the lunch ladies behind the counter. Everyone but Mike. “You say s**t like that again and I’ll f*****g kick your ass. I’ll—”

Then he feels a hand grip his arm. He looks up at the nun, a young woman hidden in the habit of her order, her eyes daring him to keep it up. He tries to pull away but can’t. He remembers this all too well and, without further argument, lets the nun drag him to the monsignor’s office. He suspects his parents will be called. He can’t imagine this will make them happy.