I Will Find My Way Back to You

Ch. 7 Luca

I was buzzing with excitement. My whole body felt wired. I was still in shock that my plan had worked. It had actually worked better than I thought it would! I got my brother himself to bring me out on patrol...

The hunt!

For as long as I could remember I had watched with longing as our warriors would go out nightly to get us fresh blood. I could hear the animals in the woods surrounding us, completely unsuspecting of the predators that we were. I would try to keep my eyes open at bed time for as long as I could to catch them heading out. And when it was Lucian's turn to join them, I stayed awake all night, until he returned just so I could live vicariously through him, asking him all about it.

I looked at my image in the mirror. I had cuts and bruises on my pale face. My lip was busted, my right eye black and blue, but I smiled. It was all worth it, though I was still sore as hell. I pushed the sleeves of my black shirt down over my tattoed arms. I was in all black to blend into the night. My smile wavered as I caught sight of the horizontal scar beside my right eye.

I hated it and I couldn't even remember how I got it. That was the worst part. Everyone around me knew but they were sworn to secrecy. I knew it was traumatic. I saw the haunted looks in their eyes all the times I had questioned them as I grew up. I knew it was connected to the day I lost my mother.

My mother....

The beautiful, kind, loving woman that I dreamt about sometimes...and sometimes filled my nightmares. I could never understand the nightmares much but I felt the agony. The way my breath came in gasps, the piercing pain in my chest that seemed to spread over my entire body with every ragged breath I took. The way I would scream for her when I saw the glassy look in her eyes, knowing she was gone.

I dont know why I cant remember. Maybe I had trauma to my brain? Maybe someone blocked my memories? Either way, there was a gaping hole in my childhood. I could remember the willow tree, hear a creek that always brought me peace.

Then there was her.

I only had glimpses of her. Her long silver hair swinging down her back as she skipped on the rocks. Her giggle, the way she called my name. It was like music to my ears.

But for the life of me, I couldn't figure out who she was or why I dreamt of her all the time. The time I asked Lucian about her he had tensed before telling me it was probably just that....a dream, something my mind made up.

But I knew there was more. I saw it in his eyes. I saw it in all their eyes, especially my father's. The way his jaw clenched and I saw the burning in his eyes when I spoke of her. He had forbade me from ever mentioning her again, more angry than I had ever seen him.

How could the girl with the beautiful voice cause him so much pain when all she brought me was peace?

I shook the thoughts out of my head as I rubbed the scar in disgust before turning and running downstairs. I jogged to the pack border where Lucian met the night's men. I slowed as I approached, trying to contain my excitement as adrenaline coursed through me. A few looked at me and nodded with approval in their eyes. Gray grinned at me from where he stood near Lucian. I smiled back before focusing on my brothers words.

...."The bigger the beast, the better. We are trying to stock up. Don't go out alone, especially if you go far out from the territory..." His eyes found mine, his jaw clenching. He didnt want me here but he was trying.

As the men scattered, taking off, I went to follow when a hand pulled me back, hard, "You are with me," Lucian said sternly. "Stay close."

I tried not to groan and be appreciative as I dutifully ran behind him. I loved the speed, the freedom I felt getting to let loose. I sensed the deer before I saw it. Lucian motioned for me to stop as I joined him at his side. I tracked its every move, waiting until Lucian gave me the all clear. When I saw the wave of his hand I was on it instantly. The poor thing didnt stand a chance. I wiped the blood from my mouth as I tossed it under the tree near us. He nodded his approval to me and my chest filled with pride.

We went on like that, getting our respective kills and piling them up. We were about to head back when we heard it. The snap of a twig not too far off. I looked at him and he nodded. I didnt wait after that. I took off, snaking through the trees and roots effortlessly.

But when I got to the clearing that I knew it was headed to, nothing prepared me for what I saw. There was a pile of bodies, badly burned, still smoldering. They all seemed dead but one was crawling towards the deer. My deer that I had tracked. He was gasping and desperate, his skin black and charred. He looked up at me, pleading with his bright blue eyes. He opened his mouth and I saw nothing where his fangs should be.

In a flash I killed the deer that had been grazing not too far away. He eyed me greedily as I cautiously approached him, dragging the deer behind me. I knelt down and squeezed some of the deers's blood into his mouth. He lapped it up graciously. When I pulled the deer away he grabbed my arm, his skin still hot to the touch.

"Help me," he croaked.

"Who did this to you?" I asked him, my voice barely a whisper. My eyes raked over the pile of vampires near him, their eyes glassy, clearly dead.

"The wolves," he managed to get out. He opened his mouth to say more but another voice rang through the air.

"Luca!" Lucian nearly growled. He was beside me in an instant, tearing the man's hand off of me. He put himself between us, narrowing his eyes at the dying vampire in front of us. "What pack?" He snapped.

"Blood Moon" the vampire breathed. He was getting weaker by the second.

"Did you deserve it?" Lucian barked. I was stunned by his coldness.

The vampire looked up at him, clearly horrified by his question, "N-n-no," he whispered.

"Did your coven attack first?" Lucian demanded.

"We did nothing! We kept to ourselves..." He choked out. Lucian nodded then swiftly thrust a branch into his chest, puncturing his heart. The vampire slumped forward as he reached final death.

"Why ..." I managed to ask, my eyes glued to the broken man. "Why did you do that?"

"It was the merciful thing to do. He wouldn't have survived without his fangs. He would have suffered," Lucian answered, very matter of fact as he walked around the charred group of bodies, looking for something that I wasn't privvy to

I couldn't move, glued on my knees. The deer was long forgotten at my side. My eyes locked onto the arrows that stuck out of many of the vamp's chests. I absently rubbed the scar on my own chest. Their glassy eyes showed they were long dead. The wooden arrow to the chest the final kill.

"Luca!" Lucian commanded, but I couldn't respond. My mind was racing with possibilities about what had happened to me. The questions Lucian had asked the now dead vampire rang in my ears. Did my coven do something to deserve our attack?

Suddenly Lucian was peering at my face, his hand on my shoulder, "Luca, come on," he coaxed, much gentler than before.

My eyes moved to his, that were creased with concern, "Did we do something to deserve it?" I whispered. "Did we attack first?"

His brow furrowed in confusion until he saw my hand on my chest. Understanding formed on his face and his jaw clenched, "No, we didn't," he said resolutely, then pulled me to my feet. He grabbed the deer and tugged my arm, forcing me forward.

I was in a daze as we made our way back. I silently helped bring all our kills home. When we were done and Lucian dismissed us, I somehow made it back to my room. My head was spinning. This was the closest I had ever come to learning the truth about what had happened to me, the cause of my scars. Lucian had known exactly what I was referring to.

After I showered, I looked at my chest scar closely. It was mere millimeters from my heart. The weight of how close it seemed I had come to death at 6 years old was sobering. Sure Lucian had been drilling that in my head my entire life, using it as his excuse to keep me safe, but it was different to see it first hand.

For the first time in my life, I truly felt gratitude for my brother and all he had done for me.