Ashes Behind Her Smile

Chapter 17: To Let Go, To Wait

Two full days had passed since Brylen slipped away, and not a single trace of her had turned up anywhere. The sun rose and set twice, but for Zhaiven, time felt like it had stopped altogether—every minute dragged by heavy and painful, filled only with the gnawing fear that he would never see her again.

They searched thoroughly and methodically, covering every possible place she might have gone. Teams combed through all the bus terminals, train stations, and piers, checking passenger logs and asking every attendant if they had seen her. They visited every hotel, inn, and transient house within a wide radius, even the small, unregistered ones tucked away in narrow alleys. They checked the homes of her distant relatives, old family friends, and every spot she had ever mentioned liking or visiting before. Zhaiven himself drove around for hours at a time, his eyes scanning every face on the sidewalk, every taxi that passed, every quiet corner of the city, hoping against hope to catch even a glimpse of her.

But every time they followed a lead, it ended in disappointment. Someone thought they saw her at a market—but it turned out to be someone who just looked a little like her. A driver recalled dropping off a woman who matched her description, but she had gotten out and disappeared into a busy crowd and no one knew where she went next. She had paid cash everywhere, never used her phone or bank cards, and never given her real name—she had truly planned to vanish completely.

Zhaiven barely ate or slept during those two days. His eyes were red-rimmed and hollow, his face pale and drawn, and he moved around as if he had lost all purpose. He would sit staring blankly at the front gate for hours, or pace restlessly from room to room, often stopping at the spot where he last saw her happy, or looking at the little puppy outfit she had left behind on the table. He kept muttering her name under his breath, as if saying it enough times might somehow call her back.

Arthur stayed right beside him the whole time, never leaving him alone for long. He took charge of organizing the search parties, spoke to contacts in different towns, and handled all the coordination so Zhaiven wouldn’t burn himself out completely. Every time a new report came in, he would be the one to check it first, his heart sinking every time it turned out to be nothing.

Late on the second evening, they gathered back at the house to go over their notes one last time. Everyone looked exhausted and downcast. Zhaiven leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands, his voice cracking when he finally spoke.

“She’s so hurt… she must think I never cared at all. She thinks the worst of me and I can’t even get close enough to tell her the truth. Where could she be, Arthur? Is she safe? Is she eating properly? Is she crying all alone somewhere?”

Arthur rested a comforting hand firmly on his brother’s shoulder, though his own heart was heavy too.

“I know, brother. I worry about all those things too. But we haven’t covered every place yet. She knows this city and the nearby towns well—there are still places we haven’t checked. We won’t stop. Not until we find her. No matter how long it takes.”

Just as they were about to head out again at dawn on the third day, one of the field guards rushed back to the house, breathless and wide-eyed. He had been checking a quiet, modest boarding house near the domestic airport when he spotted someone who looked exactly like her through an open window on the second floor.

“Sir! Sir Zhaiven! We found her!” the guard called out urgently, leaning against the doorframe to catch his breath. “She’s staying in a small room not far from the airport! She’s packing her things right now—fast and in a hurry. And when we looked carefully on the table beside her… there were travel documents, plane tickets, and all sorts of papers prepared for a flight later this morning!”

Zhaiven felt his heart leap then twist painfully in his chest. He didn’t waste even a second—he grabbed his keys and rushed straight for the door, Arthur and a few others right behind him.

When they quietly arrived at that place and looked through the very same window, it was true—there was Brylen. She looked pale, tired, and her eyes were swollen from crying, but her hands moved quickly, folding her clothes tightly and shoving them into a small bag. Right next to her on the small wooden table lay her passport, confirmed plane tickets, and other papers showing she planned to fly far away, somewhere neither he nor anyone else would easily be able to follow or find her. She was fully set to leave the city—leave his life—for good.

Zhaiven’s knees almost gave way just seeing those papers. Without stopping to think, he hurried up the stairs and knocked firmly but desperately on her door.

“Brylen! Please… open the door! It’s me!”

Inside, Brylen froze completely. Her hands dropped the shirt she was holding, and her heart hammered painfully against her ribs. She knew that voice all too well—even through the closed door, it sent shivers running through her whole body. She stood there trembling, eyes squeezed shut, fighting back a fresh wave of tears. She didn’t want to open it. She wanted to pretend she didn’t hear him, to grab her bags and slip out the back way. But her feet wouldn’t move.

“Brylen, please… I know you’re in there. I saw you. Just… let me speak to you for even just a minute. If after that you still want to go, I won’t stop you. I promise,” he pleaded, his voice thick and raw with emotion.

Slowly, shakily, she reached out and turned the lock. She pulled the door open just a crack, her head bowed low so he wouldn’t see how red and puffy her eyes were. But the moment she looked up and saw his face—how pale he was, how messy his hair, how his own eyes were swollen and full of fear and longing—her resolve crumbled a little.

Before she could say a word, Zhaiven gently pushed the door wider and stepped inside, but he stopped right there, keeping his distance so he wouldn’t scare her. He glanced quickly at the half-packed bags, at the tickets spread out on the small table, and his expression twisted with pain.

“You were really going to leave,” he whispered, more to himself than to her. “You were going to fly so far away… and never tell me where.”

Brylen hugged her arms tight around herself, stepping back until she bumped against the wall. “What else was I supposed to do?” she asked, her voice cracking. “I saw everything, Zhaiven. I saw her kiss you. I saw you… I thought you had chosen her. I thought everything you said to me was just lies. It hurt so much I couldn’t stay there anymore. I had to go before I got hurt even worse.”

Zhaiven took one slow step forward, holding out his hands palms up to show he meant no harm, tears finally spilling down his cheeks.

“Brylen… none of it was true. None of it. Please listen to me carefully,” he begged softly. “She put something in my coffee. A strong powder meant to cloud my mind and make me lose control. I was fighting it the whole time. When she kissed me… the very next second I threw her off as hard as I could. I wiped my lips over and over because it made me sick! I never wanted that. I never chose her. I only ever choose you.”

He looked straight at her, gaze steady and full of nothing but sincerity.

“I didn’t know you were there. If I had… if I had seen you, I would have run after you right away. I would have chased you to the ends of the earth. Please… believe me. Don’t go. Not like this. Not when we can fix this.”

But Brylen just slowly shook her head again and again, tears spilling freely down her cheeks as she backed further away until she had no more space left. Her voice trembled so much it was almost a whisper.

“I want to believe you… I really do. But I saw it with my own two eyes, Zhaiven. I saw her sitting on your lap. I saw her kiss you and… and you didn’t push her away right away! You looked like you were letting it happen! All those people before me said the same sweet things you did… and they all lied too. How am I supposed to know you aren’t just saying this now because you got caught? What if once I stay, things will just go back to how they were before… or even worse?”

She glanced sadly at the plane tickets on the table, then back at him with a look that broke his heart all over again.

“It hurts too much to hope again only to be proven wrong. It feels safer if I just go. If we end it here while I still have enough strength to walk away.”

Zhaiven felt like his chest was being crushed seeing her so broken and unsure. He didn’t rush closer or try to force her. Instead he pulled out his phone, pulled up the reports and evidence they had gathered, and placed it gently on the table where she could clearly see it.

“I understand why you doubt me. I would probably doubt too if I were in your place. So I won’t just tell you—let me show you. Here is the lab result from the remaining coffee, the security footage showing her slipping into the kitchen, and her own statement admitting everything when we barred her from the house. Even Arthur and the maids can tell you how sick and out of it I was afterwards.”

He took a small, unsteady breath, looking at her with pleading eyes.

“I am not asking you to trust me perfectly all at once. Just… please don’t leave yet. Give me just a little time. Let me prove it to you properly, step by step. If after that you still decide you want to go… then I will let you. I won’t chase you anymore. But please… give me this one chance.”

Brylen just shook her head once more, firmly this time, and turned to grab her bag and the travel documents from the table. She could hear the announcement being broadcast faintly from the airport nearby, and the clock on the wall showed her check-in time was fast approaching.

“No Zhaiven… please,” she said, her voice quiet but steady even though tears kept streaming down her face. “I can’t risk it. Even if all that is true… the image will never leave my mind. Every time I look at you, I will just see that moment again and again. I can’t live my life always scared and waiting for the next bad thing to happen. It is better if I go now while we can still part peacefully.”

She tried to step past him toward the door, but he stayed standing there, not blocking her roughly but refusing to move aside easily, his face wet with tears and full of pure desperation.

“Brylen, the flight is still more than an hour away! There is still time! Just come with me—even just to Arthur’s place, or somewhere else quiet, anywhere you want—and let us talk properly! If after hearing everything and seeing all the proof you still truly want to take that flight, I will drive you there myself and I will not stop you. But please… do not make this huge decision while your heart is this hurt and confused.”

She hesitated for only a heartbeat, gripping the strap of her bag tighter, then lifted her chin sadly.

“I am not confused. I thought about this every single second for two whole days. My mind is made up. Please… just let me go.”

She reached out gently but firmly to move past him, ready to walk out the door and away from everything they had shared.

Zhaiven stood frozen in place, his arm dropping slowly to his side as she walked steadily past him and out into the hallway. He wanted to run right after her, to grab her hand and beg her again and again, but just as he took a step forward, Arthur stepped up and placed a firm but gentle hold on his shoulder. He shook his head slowly, his own eyes full of sorrow but voice calm and wise.

“Brother… don’t,” Arthur said softly but firmly. “If you chase her now, or try to force her to stay, it will only make her want to get away even more. She is making this choice because her heart is so scared and so wounded right now. Right now, the kindest and bravest thing you can do is to let her go… just for a little while.”

Zhaiven stared at him, his face crumpling like he couldn’t bear to hear those words. “But Arthur—what if she leaves and never comes back?! What if this is the last time I ever see her?!”

Arthur pulled him gently back from the doorway so he wouldn’t follow, keeping a steady arm around his brother’s shoulders as they watched Brylen’s figure disappear down the stairs.

“I know it feels like that. It hurts me too just seeing her go,” Arthur said quietly. “But think about it—she has spent years being forced, tricked, and pushed around by people who only cared about what they wanted. If we hold her down now, she will only think we are all the same. She needs time and space to breathe, to calm down, and to think clearly without feeling pressured. If we truly love her, we have to respect that choice for now. If she is meant to come back, she will. And until then… we will be ready, and we will wait.”

Zhaiven’s legs gave way and he sank down onto the edge of the bed, burying his face in his hands as quiet, broken sobs finally escaped. He watched the empty doorway where she had just stood, his heart feeling like it was tearing apart, but deep down he knew Arthur was right. No matter how much it hurt, he couldn’t keep her against her will.

“Wait for her…” he whispered shakily. “I will wait. As long as it takes.”