Loveland

The dream

Dim sunlight tickles my eyelids... A warm atmosphere embraces my body... A feeling I had never felt in my life.

Even breathing, which was difficult in my previous life, is now easy.

I slowly opened my eyes to face the fate that awaits me, and I found myself in the body of a baby girl who had not seen anything of the world yet.

I looked around and it was my old room, but why is it so bright?

It wasn't like this before it was dark and full of negative vibes, just what's going on?

"My child... my little sweetheart... did you wake up?", A warm, affectionate voice was calling me

Two people entered the room, a woman and a man. The woman hugged me, an embrace that made you forget the cruelty of life.

Then the man carried me in his arms and started tickling me in my stomach with his nose.

These two people are my parents, but they are different from my parents, whom I remember.

I was very confused and didn't know what to do, but when I saw their eyes overflowing with anxiety over their daughter who was behaving strangely, I decided to act like a newborn baby and not like an adult woman...I was laughing naively, as someone who had never faced calamities in his life, like an innocent child sheltering in the arms of her parents... When they approach me, I hold them with these angelic hands, and when they leave, I face them with that innocent face.

The only thing I couldn't do was cry, I'm not used to it, because crying won't solve problems, and if I don't stand up and fight on my own, I will die, and no one will want to help me. This is how I lived my previous life.

Despite all my attempts, my parents were still worried and kept bothering the doctors even though they all confirmed that I was healthy and that I didn't suffer from any disease, well they can't be blamed because a healthy baby not crying is like impossible, but what can I do, my past is controlling me and I can't forget it, only because I received some love which I I was deprived of the the thirty-seven years that I lived in my previous life.

I waited for everyone to leave so I could collect my thoughts, and the moment they left I looked at myself in the wall mirror that was in front of my bed.There is no doubt that my appearance is still the same... My black silky hair has not changed anything except its length, it has become shorter because I was born recently... My green eyes and white skin are still the same... Everything is the same as if I see my little self, but why are my parents so different, as if I'm seeing them for the first time...

No, if we think about it, they look more like me than my previous parents.

Speaking of which, there was a time when they had a fight because I didn't look like them, at that time my father accused my mother of cheating on him with another man even though she denied it.

Their relationship ended in divorce after a long quarrel, after that, I lived with my mother, but I was not treated well, as she looked at me as a disaster that ruined her life, and she continued to drink until the day she committed suicide.

I was seven years old when all this happened, and since I was very young, I was sent to live with my father, and instead of getting better, my life got worse.

My father loved my mother more than anything in the world, even more than his own life, and he could not bear neither the divorce nor the death of my mother, so I did not only return as a disaster that destroyed their lives, but I also became a murderer who robbed him of the love of his life.

He blamed himself for her death, but he refused to admit his mistake and threw all the responsibility on his daughter's shoulder.

Then he believed all those lies that he was convincing himself with, and he began to look at me as a murderer.

Those painful memories and feelings of guilt, sadness and anger combined in one body to create a beast, a beast that tried to kill his daughter, even though he failed, but he lost the right to raise me as well as his freedom.

After my father entered prison, I was transferred to an orphanage, and here the great calamity began, and there I was on the first path of suffering because the orphanage was carrying out illegal activities such as selling children and forcing them to work.

I was sold to a gang boss and raised as a ruthless killer, and when he had a son who would inherit the gang and he no longer needs me, he tried to get rid of me in cold blood، that is why I ran away and lived my life surrounded by enemies.

At the age of eighteen, I returned to the headquarters and took revenge on everyone.

I did not leave anyone alive.

All those people who made me suffer are dead. Then I became a teacher in a kindergarten for one reason only, which was to save them from adults so that they can live a life free from the suffering that I have not been able to live.

Remembering all those hardships and sufferings made my heart ache, because memories, even if they are from the past, this does not mean that their impact on our hearts is less, especially since the heart remembers wounds and pains more than joy and hopes, perhaps because their effects last longer.

Continuing to remember will only increase my pain... When will I become this weak... No, let me forget everything now and sleep, because this small body will not bear any more exhaustion.

That's all I remember before I fall into a deep sleep...

To be honest, I was afraid of falling asleep and returning to that life again, but what happened was closer to imagination...

Darkness was surrounding me and I saw my past life through a mirror I don't even know how it got to that place.

I was so scared... I don't want to go back to that world... I want to be happy.

At that moment, I heard a voice say:

"You who were a victim of greed and selfishness...You who did not know the taste of happiness...In this land between fantasy and reality, there is your home... In the Loveland , live the life you should have lived...As a price for that suffering, your dreams will guide you and show you the truth... so use your power for good.”

I woke up and without realizing, tears were pouring down my pink cheeks... I couldn't stop myself and for the first time I cried so hard.

My parents stormed into the room and instead of being bothered by the sound of my crying, they picked me up and hugged me... The words they said to me were like "don't worry", "your parents are with you", "we love you",They woke up my sleeping heart and those feelings that I locked up... I don't know if that dream was real or what the owner of that voice meant, but I decided to trust my parents and live for myself happily and with a wide smile.