THE CROWNLESS KING'S REJECTED MATE

THE CHOICE TO STAY

I woke before sunrise to a silence that, for once, did not frighten me.

For a few moments, I stayed beneath the heavy blankets, staring at the ceiling while the last embers in the fireplace gave off a faint orange glow. My body felt strangely heavy. My ribs ached when I breathed too deeply, and the skin around my throat pulled beneath the bandage whenever I swallowed.

I waited for the familiar panic to come.

It didn't.

Then I remembered where I was.

The Iron Citadel.

Lucian.

The Ashen Wilds.

And everything that had happened before I closed my eyes.

I turned my head toward the window. Beyond the glass, the world was still dark, the mountains barely visible beneath the fading night.

For so long, waking up had meant remembering Ravencrest.

The attic.

The cold floor.

Victoria's voice.

Jax.

The way everyone had looked at me after he rejected me, as though his decision had finally confirmed what they had always believed.

Defective.

Wolf-less.

Worthless.

I touched the bandage around my throat.

The memory of the brand still lived beneath my skin even though the wound had begun to heal.

I lowered my hand.

I was tired of thinking about it.

A soft knock came at the door.

I straightened.

"Come in."

The door opened.

Lucian stood on the other side.

He looked as though he had barely slept.

His black hair was slightly disordered, and there were faint shadows beneath his silver eyes. He wore a dark shirt with the sleeves pushed to his forearms, and for once, he looked less like the untouchable king everyone feared and more like a man who had spent the night dealing with problems that refused to wait until morning.

I studied him.

"You look terrible."

One corner of his mouth lifted.

"Good morning to you too."

I almost smiled.

Almost.

"What happened?"

"Council meeting."

"That explains the face."

He gave me a long look.

"I'm beginning to regret coming here."

"You could leave."

"I could."

Neither of us moved.

Then his expression softened.

"How do you feel?"

"My shoulder hurts."

"That's not what I asked."

I looked away.

"I know."

He didn't push.

Instead, he stepped into the room carrying a wooden tray.

Warm bread. A bowl of fruit. A small pot of broth.

He placed it on the table beside the bed.

"You need to eat."

"I ate last night."

"You ate half a bowl of broth."

"You were watching?"

"I have people who notice things."

"That sounds suspicious."

"It probably is."

I looked at the food.

My stomach betrayed me with a quiet growl.

Lucian raised an eyebrow.

I glared at him.

"Don't."

"I didn't say anything."

"You were thinking it."

"I was thinking that you're hungry."

I reached for the bread.

"You're irritating."

"I've been called worse."

The words were light, but something in his expression changed afterward.

Only slightly.

I noticed.

He pulled a chair closer but didn't sit.

For some reason, that made me nervous.

"Why do you keep doing this?"

His gaze settled on me.

"Doing what?"

"Helping me."

He didn't answer immediately.

I expected some easy explanation. That I was his mate. That protecting me was his duty. That he was responsible for what happened inside his territory.

Instead, he looked toward the window.

"You were hurt."

"That's not enough."

"No."

His answer came quietly.

I waited.

He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, as though he wasn't entirely comfortable with where the conversation was going.

"I found you alone," he said. "Rejected. Branded. Left in the wild like your life didn't matter."

My fingers tightened around the bread.

"I could have kept walking."

I looked at him.

"Why didn't you?"

His eyes met mine.

"Because I know what it feels like to have no one come back for you."

Something inside me went still.

I didn't know what to say to that.

Neither did he, apparently.

He looked away first.

"You don't have to tell me anything else," I said.

"I know."

There was no disappointment in his voice.

No pressure.

Just acceptance.

He headed toward the door.

"I have another council meeting."

"More terrible faces?"

"Probably."

This time I smiled.

He noticed.

I knew he did because his expression changed for half a second.

But he didn't comment.

He simply left.

I listened to his footsteps disappear down the corridor.

Then I looked at the food.

I ate because I was hungry.

Not because someone told me to.

It was such a small thing that it shouldn't have mattered.

For some reason, it did.

By late morning, I was tired of staring at the same four walls.

My shoulder still hurt, but I could walk without feeling as though my ribs were going to crack. I pulled on the clothes left for me and stepped into the corridor.

The Citadel looked different in daylight.

At night, it had felt enormous and almost empty.

Now I could hear voices.

Boots struck stone.

Someone shouted instructions from somewhere below. Metal clanged in the distance, followed by laughter that quickly disappeared around a corner.

People lived here.

The realization surprised me.

I had spent so much time thinking of the Iron Citadel as Lucian's fortress that I had forgotten it was also a home.

I followed the sounds until I reached the main corridor.

I stopped when I heard voices ahead.

Lucian.

Commander Torin.

I couldn't see them yet, but I could hear enough.

"Two scouts were seen near the lower pass."

Torin's voice was tense.

"Ravencrest?"

"Most likely."

My stomach tightened.

"They're still searching."

"For her?"

"For the Outcast."

The word hit harder than it should have.

My feet became heavy.

I stayed where I was.

"How many?" Lucian asked.

"Not enough to attack the Citadel. But they're searching every trail leading into the mountains."

"And if they find her outside?"

Torin hesitated.

"They'll try to take her back."

I heard the scrape of something against stone.

Lucian's voice lowered.

"I won't allow that."

My breath caught.

Then he said, "But what happens next is her decision."

I stepped into view.

Both men turned.

Torin's expression tightened.

Lucian simply looked at me.

For a moment, no one spoke.

I could feel the word Outcast sitting between us.

I hated how quickly it could make me feel eighteen again.

Small.

Ashamed.

Waiting for someone else to decide what I deserved.

Lucian didn't look away.

"What do you want to do?" he asked.

The question should have been simple.

It wasn't.

All my life, other people had answered questions for me.

Where I belonged.

What I was worth.

Who I should obey.

Who I should love.

Who I should become.

Jax had decided I wasn't good enough to be his mate.

Gidean had decided I deserved the brand.

My father had decided silence was easier than defending me.

Even Victoria had spent years deciding how small she could make me feel.

Now Lucian was asking me.

Not telling me.

Asking.

I swallowed.

"I want to stay."

The words sounded strange once they were spoken.

But they were mine.

Lucian held my gaze.

"Then you stay."

That was all.

No speech.

No demand.

No condition.

Torin gave a brief nod. "I'll double the patrols."

He left.

Lucian remained.

"Are you sure?"

I looked at him.

"I think so."

"That's enough."

I frowned.

"You don't need me to be certain?"

"No."

"Why?"

His expression was calm.

"Because you can change your mind."

I stared at him.

He continued, "If you decide tomorrow that you want to leave, you can."

Something about that hurt more than I expected.

Not because he wanted me gone.

Because he was willing to let me go.

"Why would you give me that choice?"

His eyes stayed on mine.

"Because you should know you have one."

I didn't answer.

I couldn't.

He walked past me, leaving enough space between us that I could have stepped away if I wanted.

I didn't.

By afternoon, I needed air.

The Citadel felt too warm.

Too close.

I found the courtyard doors and pushed one open.

Cold wind rushed over my face.

I stepped outside.

"You're limping."

I turned.

Lucian stood several feet behind me.

"I'm walking."

"You're doing both."

I looked down.

He was right.

I hated that.

He opened the other courtyard door wider.

"Come on."

I hesitated.

"Where?"

"Outside."

"I noticed."

His mouth twitched.

"You've been inside for days."

"I can see that."

"Then let me save us both another argument."

I gave him a suspicious look.

He took a dark cloak from a nearby hook and held it out.

I looked at it.

Then at him.

"I can get one myself."

"I know."

He kept holding it.

I finally took it.

"Thank you."

We walked into the snow.

For several minutes, neither of us spoke.

The cold felt good against my face.

I pulled the cloak tighter around myself.

"I thought leaving Ravencrest would feel different."

Lucian glanced at me.

"Different how?"

"Like freedom."

He waited.

"It doesn't," I admitted.

"What does it feel like?"

I looked toward the mountains.

"I don't know."

"That's honest."

I gave him a sideways look.

"Is that your way of saying I'm terrible at answering questions?"

"No."

"Good."

"I think you're still figuring out what freedom feels like."

I didn't have an answer for that.

We kept walking.

After a while, I said, "I thought Jax loved me."

Lucian didn't react.

I appreciated that.

"I really believed it," I continued. "For years."

My voice sounded smaller than I wanted.

"I thought being his mate meant I finally belonged somewhere."

The snow crunched beneath our boots.

"I kept thinking that if I tried harder, if I stayed quiet, if I made myself useful enough, maybe people would stop seeing me as broken."

Lucian looked ahead.

"You were never broken."

I swallowed.

"You didn't know me then."

"I know enough now."

I looked at him.

He wasn't trying to convince me.

He wasn't saying it because it sounded comforting.

He simply believed it.

"Ravencrest never made me feel like I belonged," I whispered.

"You belonged before him."

I looked away.

"I wish I believed that sooner."

"You were eighteen."

I frowned.

"What does that have to do with it?"

"Everything."

His voice was quieter now.

"You shouldn't have needed to understand cruelty that young."

I didn't know why those words stayed with me.

Maybe because no one had ever said them before.

People had always told me to be stronger.

To stop crying.

To stop complaining.

To accept my place.

No one had ever told me I shouldn't have had to endure it.

After a while, I asked, "Do people really think you're a monster?"

Lucian's expression hardened slightly.

"Some do."

"And you?"

He took a breath.

"Sometimes I believed them."

The honesty caught me off guard.

I looked at him.

"I'm sorry."

"You believed them too."

"I did."

He nodded.

"You had reasons."

"I was afraid of you."

"I know."

"I still am."

He glanced at me.

Then, unexpectedly, he smiled.

"Good."

I blinked.

"Good?"

"Fear keeps people from doing stupid things."

I laughed before I could stop myself.

His smile grew faintly.

"There," he said.

"What?"

"You laughed."

I immediately stopped.

"I can take it back."

"Too late."

I shook my head.

"You really are irritating."

"I've heard that before."

We kept walking.

The silence between us no longer felt like something I had to fill.

That surprised me.

At Ravencrest, silence had always meant something.

Punishment.

Disappointment.

Judgment.

My father's silence.

Jax's silence after he had chosen Victoria.

The pack's silence when I was branded.

Here, it was simply quiet.

I didn't have to earn the right to speak.

I didn't have to apologize for taking up space.

We reached the far end of the courtyard.

Then warmth spread beneath my collarbone.

I stopped.

Lucian noticed immediately.

"What is it?"

I pressed my fingers against the place beneath the bandage.

"I don't know."

The warmth grew.

Not painful.

Just strange.

Like something beneath my skin had stirred awake.

Lucian took one step toward me.

Then stopped himself.

"Has this happened before?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want me to call someone?"

"I don't know."

He waited.

I closed my eyes.

The warmth moved slowly, almost like a pulse.

Then it faded.

I opened my eyes.

Lucian was still standing where he had stopped.

He hadn't touched me.

He hadn't told me what I was feeling.

He had simply waited.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

The familiar answer almost came out.

I'm fine.

I stopped myself.

"No."

His expression softened.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do next," I admitted. "I don't know who I'm supposed to be. I don't know where I belong anymore."

I looked down at the snow.

"I don't even know what happens if I stay."

"You don't have to know."

I looked up.

He nodded toward the path ahead.

"One choice at a time."

It wasn't a promise that everything would work out.

Maybe that was why I believed him.

We started walking back.

Our footsteps fell beside each other, never quite matching.

At one point, I noticed something.

Two sets of footprints in the snow.

Separate.

Parallel.

Neither one leading the other.

I looked at them for a long moment.

I was still afraid.

Of Ravencrest.

Of Jax finding me.

Of the mark beneath my skin.

Of whatever was waiting in these mountains.

I was afraid that trusting the wrong person would cost me again.

But for the first time, I wasn't thinking about whether I should run.

I was thinking about what it meant to stay.

And that difference mattered.

I tightened the cloak around my shoulders and kept walking beside him.

Not because he had asked me to.

Not because I owed him.

Not because I had nowhere else to go.

I stayed because the door was still open.

I could leave if I wanted.

And knowing that made all the difference.

For once, the choice was mine.