Against the Black

Chapter 11

I made my way to the front doors, stopping only to have one of the attendants mind link the valet, requesting my car be made available as soon as I get out there. When I burst through the doors, I saw my baby idling and waiting. I passed the valet driver a tip and climbed in, speeding away from the castle before the car door was fully closed.

Babs linked me after about five minutes.

Boss, your mates are looking for you. What should I tell them? She spat the word mates as if it was poison on her tongue.

You may tell them I left. It’ll take them time to catch up. She kept the mind link open, but didn’t speak for a moment.

Are you ok Roxy? She asked it softly and the gentleness in her voice almost made me break out into sobs. I hadn’t realized I was crying until then.

I’m fine. I refuse to be humiliated any more tonight, however. So, if they want to reject me, they’ll have to come to me. My pack needs me and I will not stand around waiting for them to make up their minds. I came to this ball to find my mate. I found them. The rest is up to them. I cut the link and let out something between a huff and a sob.

It was true, though; I didn’t want to go to the ball in the first place. I only went to make my mother and pack happy. But after they humiliated me in front of the king, I wasn’t about to let them cause further damage. They hadn’t outright rejected me, but they sure as hell hadn’t accepted me either. If they wanted to find me, it would be by my rules. And the first order of business would be to get home, where I was comfortable. I opened the link to Babs back up and told her I wasn’t stopping at the hotel and asked her to grab my things for me when she left. She agreed, and I cut the link again.

I drove with the top down, letting the cool night air calm my racing heart. I thought back to all the things that had happened.

They didn’t reject us. Kalua spoke up, as if proving she knew this was going to happen.

They didn’t accept us either. They just… sat there. They stared at me like I was some freak of nature. They didn’t have to say anything out loud. Their faces said enough.

They did not reject us. She roared in my head and I swerved a little. I pulled over to the side of the road and leaned my head against the headrest, looking up and closing my eyes.

No, they didn’t reject us. But they will. And if they don’t, they will expect us to give up our pack for them. I won’t abandon our people like that. Not ever.

We will not give up our pack. Kalua agreed. But we may need to compromise. She said softly. I opened my eyes and stared up at the stars overhead.

We might. I agreed. But for now, let’s get home and come up with a game plan. I need to think and I can’t do that with them chasing us. I took one last look at the night sky. It was extraordinary. So dark, yet the stars littered the sky like diamonds. The moon was high and full, casting light through the tall trees. What was the moon goddess thinking? I thought to myself, then put the car in drive again.

I got home sometime after 1:00 in the morning and flopped into bed. I was exhausted from the events of the evening and my brain was fried from trying to puzzle out how to handle it. I looked at this mate situation from every angle. What if they rejected me? What if I had to reject one or both of them? What if they chose not to reject me? What if they chose not to accept my rejection? What if they wanted me to give up my pack? What if they chose to give up their packs and join mine? That last one was the least likely of all the options, but it needed to be considered. Although if that were the case, I would probably reject them for lack of honor, loyalty, and discipline. So it was an easy enough answer. The rest was another story altogether.

The hardest option to wrap my head around was them not rejecting me. Kalua was adamant that they would not reject us. Although I was skeptical, I had to take the option into account. But if they did both want me, what then? We could all become one big happy family together. Though after the fight they had on castle grounds, I highly doubted that was an option. That left the only other option of someone getting rejected. Either they reject me, or I reject one of them. But how do I decide who to reject and who to keep? All these questions swirled through my head and I had fallen asleep to the certainty there was a rejection in my future.

When I woke, I had a raging headache. I groaned and rolled onto my back, throwing my hand over my face. I was no closer to coming up with a solution than I was when I’d fallen asleep. I decided that since most of the pack still didn’t know I’d returned yet, I would take advantage of the time and get a little rest and recovery. For starters, I linked the kitchen and asked for breakfast to be sent to my room while also asking they keep my presence hush hush.

Once breakfast arrived, I climbed out of bed and grabbed the tray from the sweet omega girl in my doorway. I thanked her and shut the door. Then I set the tray down on the counter in my kitchenette and grabbed some pain killers from my medicine cabinet to get rid of the headache. Once I had medicine in my system, I made myself a cup of coffee and walked back into my bedroom with the tray of food. I set the tray on my bed and climbed under the covers. I decided that the best way to get over this headache was to simply avoid the things that gave it to me. That would mean I needed to stop thinking. And what better way to stop thinking than to put on some mind numbing television?

I searched through the subscriptions and none of the options were jumping out at me. Until I came across an old comfort classic of mine and just about squealed in excitement. Babs, Vera, Lenny, and I would watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the weekends together. You were either team Angel or team Spike. This was long before team Edward and team Jacob were even a thing. I was team Spike as a teenage girl. He was the bad boy with his bleach blond hair and British accent. He went from bad boy to good guy and then somehow back to a bad guy. He was so conflicted and I loved it. We loved the show because it was almost like being represented in pop culture. But not exactly, since their werewolves looked like dogs made from paper mache in a first-grade classroom. But it was the 90s, and they tried.

The opening credits began rolling, and I dug into the breakfast the kitchen had prepared for me. The coffee and food did wonders for my headache and I was finally feeling like myself again after an hour or so. I got up for a refill and listened in on the episode playing in the other room when I heard something Buffy said.

“Alright, yes, I want to date, and shop, and hang out, and go to school, and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I want to do girlie stuff.”

That’s when it hit me. Duh, I just needed to date them like the humans do. Get to know them on a deeper level than just the mate bond.

If you think either of them is going to be willing to try and date, you’ve lost your marbles. Kalua snorted.

Why not? We need to figure out which is going to be a better match, and short of playing pin the tail on the mate, I’m not sure what else to do. I flopped back into bed with my coffee and sipped as I watched my show.

They’re wolves. Their minds don’t think like that. Even worse, they’re male wolves. I choked slightly on my coffee and let out a laugh. They’re not used to having to think things like this through. The mate bond tells them who their mate is and they trust the goddess.

And in situations like this? How is anyone supposed to navigate this? I leaned back against the wall and slid my knees up, holding my cup balanced on my knees.

In the past, they usually held duels to the death. Whoever the winner was, got to claim their mate for themselves. My eyes just about popped from my skull. Then I shook my head, rebooting my brain.

No, we can’t do that. Even if William’s ancestor was Warren Black and we hold a grudge with the Black Winter pack to this day over it, I still don’t want him dead. I paused before continuing. I don’t want him as my mate, but I don’t want him dead either.

Then pick the prince. We could get ourselves some royal di..

I can’t just pick Roman either. I interrupted Kalua before she could finish her sentence. He’s the crown prince. We have a duty and responsibility to our pack, whereas he has a duty to all packs. The entire werewolf community relies on the royal bloodline. We would be forced to give up our title as Alpha, and give up our pack.

But we’d be giving up our title for Queen. And we wouldn’t really be giving up our pack since they would be under our care, just like every other pack would be under our care. My headache was coming back.

I spent the rest of the day in bed watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, eating junk food, and arguing with Kalua about whether we should date them or have them fight to the death.