In Her Name, I Fell into Eternal Slumber

Lonely and Unwanted

“I’m certainly lacking love,” I muttered bitterly, “But even though I crave love, I certainly don’t need your kind of love. Your love disgusts me.”

“Li Rongrong, you’re nothing but a cheap woman, a thoroughly disgusting person. I was blind when I married you, treating you like the moon, worshiping you, trying to protect you from any harm, thinking you were some kind of treasure.”

“I only realize now how foolish I was in the past. You’re not worth it. You don’t deserve anyone’s love.”

“That’s enough! Shut up!” Li Rongrong snapped, her voice furious. To her, my words were nothing short of provocation. For years, I had been nothing but a dog at her feet. When had I ever dared to challenge her like this?

She sneered. “Oh, now you’ve got some backbone in front of me. Do you remember how you begged me to love you back then, how you acted like a dog, as if you couldn’t live without someone loving you? You were pathetic, practically begging for scraps of affection.”

“I knew it! Anyone so desperate for love, they’ll latch onto whoever gives them a little attention. You had no pride, no self-respect. No wonder your parents don’t love you. The people who gave birth to you couldn’t care less about you. How could you expect others to love you? Do you think it’s possible?”

“You know why I married you?” She scoffed. “It’s because you were so easy to manipulate. You thought I would ever love you? Look at yourself in the mirror. What about you is worth loving?”

It was as if the pain had reached its limit, and now I felt numb. Her words were venomous, but somehow, they no longer stung as deeply. Instead, I found myself wanting to laugh, as if I were watching the most absurd play unfold before me. And then it hit me—I was the main character in this farce.

When Wang Jiajia, my six-year-old daughter, saw the fight escalating, she also stepped in. “That’s right. I’ve never liked you. I don’t love you. Everything I’ve said was just a lie,” she added coldly.

I couldn’t believe it—at six years old, she was already lying so effortlessly. All the love she had ever expressed to me was a lie.

“It’s okay,” I said softly, a bitter smile forming on my lips. “It’s okay, you’re right. I’ve been so desperate for love. How could I have begged for it like a dog? How pathetic.”

The wounds of my childhood had never healed. Even after thirty years, the scars were still there, invisible but deep, running through my soul. No matter how much I had accumulated in terms of wealth, no matter how much I had achieved in the outside world, people calling me ‘General Manager Wang’—inside, I was still that helpless child, screaming “Mom, Dad, please don’t leave me, don’t abandon me.”

For all these years, I had never truly grown up. I was like a child who had secretly borrowed an adult’s clothes and found myself out of place in the adult world.

Li Rongrong, however, had seen right through my weakness. She had chosen to deceive me, using false love to weave a lie that trapped me in it, unable to escape.

After venting her anger, Li Rongrong suddenly laughed, her demeanor changing back to the role of the gentle, loving wife.

“Alright, darling, don’t be upset. I was just kidding before.” Her voice was soft again, full of sweetness. “I love you so much. How could I ever not love you? I’m the one who loves you the most in this world. You, me, and our precious daughter—we are the happiest, most loving family in the world.”

“Look, everyone envies you. You have a wife who’s so gentle and thoughtful, and a daughter who’s so obedient and cute. So many people envy you. How could you think of divorcing me?”

“If you divorce me, who will take care of you when you’re sick next time? You think you’ll be okay alone?”

“You should think carefully. Some people who get divorced still have family to support them. But you don’t have your parents, do you? Oh, wait, you have parents, but they don’t want you. You have siblings, but they don’t care about you at all.”

“So, you can only rely on me. You only have me and our daughter as family. It may not be perfect, but it’s probably better than what anyone else has, don’t you think? You should really think this through.”

Li Rongrong smiled, her face as beautiful as ever, a gentle, warm smile on her lips. But the words she spoke were filled with despair. She was cutting into me with a knife, showing me that someone like me, abandoned by both my parents, someone who had never been loved, could never find love again. No one would ever love me.

Money could buy companionship. It could buy people who would feign affection and surround you, but it could never buy genuine love. If I wanted love, I would have to stay with her. Even though the love she gave me was fake, it was the only option I had.

For the first time, I laughed. The sound was full of mockery. “Li Rongrong, you’re right. Maybe after I divorce you, there won’t be anyone to care for me when I’m sick.”

“But I’m sure no one will be at my bedside, pretending to love me like you did, making me listen to your fake affection. I find that really disgusting.”

Li Rongrong’s fake smile faltered. “I knew it. You’re upset because of Zhang Wenliang, aren’t you? But I was just playing around with him.”

“Is that so? You were just playing with him? But the only reason you did that is because he looks like Chen Cheng, right?”

I sneered. After waking up, I hadn’t been idle. I had already had people investigate everything Li Rongrong had done these years, and now I knew everything.