In Her Name, I Fell into Eternal Slumber

Warmth

I’m not sure when exactly my feelings began to change, or perhaps it was just her occasional acts of kindness, which to me, seemed so rare, that made it impossible for me to resist.

We met, and I pursued her actively. Six months later, we got married, and soon after, we had our daughter, Wang Jiajia. When I had a family, I briefly thought that maybe I wasn’t so starved for love anymore. I thought, perhaps someone in this world finally loves me.

I thought that among all the lights in the city, there would finally be one shining for me. I thought that I was no longer that person with an empty social circle. Maybe the next time I got drunk, someone would come to pick me up. Maybe when I got home after work, there would be someone waiting for me. Maybe when I was sick, someone would be by my side, and during the holidays, I wouldn’t be alone.

I wouldn’t be ignored, wouldn’t feel awkwardly silent in the corner, and wouldn’t be watched with malicious eyes or ridiculed by others.

Li Rongrong did a great job. Despite the years of her betrayal, she really did embody the ideal image of a wife. When I got drunk, she would come to pick me up. When I finished work, she would wait for me. During holidays, she would celebrate with me. She built a dream home for me, a home I thought was filled with love. I truly believed I was loved by her, and that she was willing to give so much.

But when the truth was revealed, I finally realized: these seven years were nothing more than an illusion. Dreams always wake up, and when you wake up, all that’s left is emptiness and loneliness.

The day I was discharged from the hospital, I was still alone. Li Rongrong didn’t come to find me. Her pride wouldn’t allow her to bow down. Someone who had always been so high up could never stoop down to someone she had once looked down upon. Why would she, after all these years, beg for forgiveness from someone like me?

For all those years, I had begged for her love and received nothing in return. She would never lower herself to ask for a man she had once rejected.

It wasn’t until we went to the civil affairs office to finalize the divorce that her attitude remained unchanged: “Wang Peng, if you apologize now, if you beg me, I’ll forgive you. I won’t divorce you.”

Wang Jiajia stood by, her voice innocent yet filled with reproach: “Dad, you’re a man. Shouldn’t you be more understanding? Why can’t you just stop this? How long do you want to keep fighting? Do you want us to hate you before you’re satisfied?”

I simply smiled, a smile tinged with helplessness. Yes, I had never considered reconciling. I wasn’t trying to make her feel guilty or hoping for some kind of play to get her back. I had long let go of any hope. She could no longer give me what I longed for. She could not offer me the love I had once begged for.

I smiled and resolutely walked into the civil affairs office. I no longer cared about her pride, nor did I care about the past. I knew this marriage was beyond saving.

Li Rongrong sneered at me as I walked into the office. She was sure I would, like before, come crawling back, begging her to return. She knew I feared loneliness, and she knew that I wouldn’t want to spend the upcoming holidays alone.

But I knew I wouldn’t do that. After the divorce, I focused all my energy on my work. I used to think that money was the key to a better life for my family, but now I understand that money cannot buy love; it can only buy me security.

I no longer craved love from others. All those years, I had acted like a dog, begging for affection. Now I understood that what mattered most was having enough money to secure my own life.

A year later, my company went public, and during that year, I met the first person who pursued me—Zhao Yue.

Zhao Yue was young, beautiful, intelligent, and independent. She had just returned from studying abroad, and at twenty-six, she was everything I thought I could never have. According to common logic, she wouldn’t have given a second glance to someone like me—someone who had been through a divorce. I never imagined she would like me. But Zhao Yue’s persistence moved me.

She told me: “I want to be with you. Whether we’re a match or not isn’t for you to decide, it’s for me to decide. Why should you make that decision for me?”

Her bright, determined eyes shone with conviction, as though she had everything in her control.

In that moment, I found the courage I hadn’t had in years. I wasn’t the broken man who had once lived in the shadows of his past. I wasn’t afraid of loneliness anymore. I embraced her tightly, feeling warmth I hadn’t felt in years.

The next day, I went to her house to propose. I solemnly promised her parents that I would love her with all my heart.

Her parents weren’t thrilled, but eventually, they agreed. Zhao Yue and I began preparing for our wedding with excitement and passion.

But then, one day, Li Rongrong and Wang Jiajia showed up at my doorstep.

Li Rongrong was still high and mighty, looking at me with disdain. She coldly said, “So, you’re marrying someone else to make me regret it?” Her tone was full of sarcasm. “I’ve told you before, you’ll regret divorcing me. Who would want someone like you after you leave me? You’re nothing but a joke.”

I took out the marriage certificate I had just received and threw it in front of her: “You’ve been to the civil affairs office too, haven’t you? Do you really think this can be fake?”

Zhao Yue spoke calmly, “We didn’t waste time. We got our marriage certificate first. We’ll have the wedding later. We believe in this love.”

Li Rongrong’s expression shifted instantly. Looking at the real marriage certificates in front of her, she was caught off guard: “You’re really going to marry someone else?” Her voice quivered. “How can you marry someone else? Don’t you love me?”

This time, I didn’t remain silent. I didn’t lower my head. I knew that my past with her was just that—past. Zhao Yue was my future.

Taking a deep breath, I looked at Li Rongrong and answered calmly, “I’m no longer the man who needs you.”