Loving Cino

Chapter 16

Ramona

            All I could feel was pain.  My back felt like someone dropped a boulder on me.  My butt ached and burned as if I had been drug across the rug for ten miles naked. The back of my head ached and throbbed.  The light pressure I felt on my thighs crawled up my stomach to my chest.  What in the hell is going on?  My eyes fluttered open to tapping on my cheeks.  A blurred face was pressed against mine.  I could hear faint screaming in the distance.  I couldn’t move.  I had no desire to move.  I was afraid it would make my pain worse.  I stared at the face as the tapping on my cheeks continued.  The more I stared at the face the clearer it became, and I realized it was Caleb.  He was terrified and screaming at the top of his lungs. He was laying on my chest patting my face to get my attention.  His little face was so red and wet from tears and snot.  Never had I ever seen him so afraid.  I tried to reach for him to comfort him but instead I passed out again. 

            I awakened again to total darkness and silence.  My pain was gone, and everything felt at ease.  The air was cool, and the smell of bacon invaded my nose.  It made my stomach begin to rumble. I focused my eyes and looked around.  The first thing I noticed was the I.V. bag hanging over me.  I felt something in my right arm which made me turn in that direction.  I relaxed to see Caleb sitting in my arm facing Cino, who was feeding him.  Cino looked at me and smiled.                 

  “Hey.”  “Hey.”  Caleb turned and looked at me.  My heart sank looking at the scabbed gash across his cheek.  He smiled and let out a high pitch screech.  “MAMA!”  He squealed.  I picked him up sending a throbbing shooting pain to my back.  I ignored it and hugged and kissed my son.   I glanced at Cino who was smiling at us.

 “Where’s Calin?”  I asked panicking all over again.  “Right here.”  I looked at the bed behind Cino.  Laying against a barricade of pillows was Calin sleeping.  He was untouched and slept soundly.

 “How’d you get him?”  I asked.  “I don’t know.”  “What do you mean?”  “I went to work with Derrick that day.  I had started gutting the first room and I kept hearing a baby crying. So, I walked out the room and he was sitting outside on the steps crying.  No one knows how he got there. The next thing I know their school is calling me telling me he’s been kidnapped, and you and Caleb got hit by a car.”  I watched the tears pooling in his eyes as he spoke.  “You’ve been right here for the last week and a half.  We’ve been right here with you.  If I try and take Caleb from you, he freaks out.”

 I looked down at Caleb and realize he hadn’t let go of me yet.  I kissed him to see if he was asleep and he wasn’t.  He was just laying there.  I had traumatized him, and he would be this way for the rest of his life.  What a great mother I had become.  He was almost eight months old and I had traumatized him for life.  I buried my face in his hair to hide my tears.

 I couldn’t believe I handed my son to a perfect stranger and thought everything was going to be okay.  I should have listened to my instincts.  I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t expect it to have anything to do with my boys.  Now look at the mess we were in. I was hurt as well as Caleb and Calin was kidnapped.  The guilt of not being able to spot the danger and protect them set in and began to fester.

Cino

            She was discharged about a week later.  She had no broken bones just scars.  Her emotional scars would never go away, and I could see it taking over her.  She didn’t sleep anymore and barely ate.  All she did was watched our sons very closely.  If they were not in the same room with her, she freaked out and had a panic attack.  She kept them close to her and in her room.  She took a leave from work and spent her days with our sons in her room.  Things went on like this for a month.

             I was exhausted and about to lose my mind.  I had to walk on eggshells around her because everything set her off.  I was starting to feel like I was back in a relationship with Melissa again, and I didn’t like it.

            “What are you doing?”  I looked over my shoulder at her from Caleb. “Getting them ready for daycare.”  “No, they’re not going back to that place!  Are you crazy?”  She snatched Caleb off the bed and walked to the recliner with him.  “Ramona, they have to go back.  What are we going to do when you go back to work?”  “I’m not going back.”  I looked at her. She sat there holding Caleb close.  I glanced in the play pen at Calin who was playing with his toys then back at Ramona. “Why?”  “What do you mean why?  Do you pay attention at all?”  “Of course, I do.  I just want to hear your reason for not going back to a job you love and have put your blood sweat and tears into.”  “I love my boys more.”  “Our boys.” She rolled her eyes at me. 

“Baby, I know that was some scary s**t we just went through, but” “OH REALLY?  DID YOU GIVE OUR SON TO A STRANGER AND WATCH AS SHE DROVE OFF WITH HIM?  DID YOU GET YOURSELF AND OUR OTHER SON HIT BY A CAR TOO?  IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE I ONLY REMEMBER THAT HAPPENING TO US NOT YOU!”  “So, I haven’t been there with you going through this with you?”  “YOU CAN’T GO THROUGHT THIS WITH ME IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE!”  

I stared at her a moment trying not to lose my patience, but I really couldn’t help it.  “Baby you’re right, I don’t know what it feels like to get hit by a car.  Oh, wait a minute, I do BECAUSE MY f*****g WIFE RAN ME OVER ONCE UPON A TIME!”  I watched her tears fall into Caleb’s hair before I turned away.  I took a deep breath and let it out.

 Do I walk away, or do I stay?  Being here makes me want to drown my sorrows in alcohol, and what I would give for a hit right now.  I think I should just go.  It would be better for everyone.

 “I’m sorry.”  My mouth dropped open at those words.  I turned around and looked at her.  She stood there staring at me terrified holding our son.  “I know I haven’t made this easy for you and I am sorry.  I am just afraid.  I barely survived losing you.  I can’t lose them too.”  “You never lost me baby. I am always here. I will make it my life’s mission for you to never lose them either.”  She stared at me long and hard before she nodded her head. 

“We also can’t stop living our lives because we are afraid.  What is that going to teach them?”  “I know.”  She replied sniffling.  “Come on or they’re going to be late.”  She nodded her head and followed me to the car.

We got in and drove to the daycare. It was completely silent.  We walked into the center with me carrying Calin and their bags and Ramona carrying Caleb.  Everyone we passed spoke to us and welcomed us back. 

When we reached the classroom, Ramona stood at the door looking inside.  I could tell she was struggling and getting ready to retreat so I opened the door. 

“Oh, my Goodness, welcome back!”  The teacher greeted excitedly rushing to us.  “You must be Dad?”  I nodded my head.  “Caleb.”  “Nice to meet you.  I am Charlotte.”  She looked from Calin to Caleb.  “I can tell you are Calin.  It is nice to finally meet you.”  She said to Calin who practically jumped in her arms.

 She played around with him before putting him on the mat with the other kids.  He crawled over to another baby who was playing with toy cars.  He took one and began playing with him.  Before long they both were laughing and having the best time.  I looked at Charlotte

who stood beside Ramona watching Calin.  She looked back at Caleb.

 “What do you think Caleb?  Would you like to give it a try?”  She asked smiling at him.  He watched Calin play and have fun for a few minutes.  Charlotte reached out to Caleb.  He looked from her to Calin and leaned into her.  She took him over to his brother.  Caleb sat there watching the other baby play with Calin.  Calin turned to him with a car and ran over his leg with the car.  Caleb laughed at him and began playing with him.  I couldn’t help but feel relieved watching them play together with the other babies.

 I looked beside me at Ramona who was losing her mind.  She stood there crying to herself watching them play.  “It’s okay.”  Charlotte comforted her hugging her.  “I will take good care of them, I promise.”  She nodded her head unable to speak. 

We walked out the classroom.  Ramona stopped outside the door and continued to watch.  After about fifteen minutes Caleb noticed we were gone.  He looked around franticly for us.  When he didn’t see us, he began to cry.  I held Ramona to keep her from running to him.

 “He’s okay baby.”  I comforted her.  She nodded her head. We watched Calin turn to his brother and pat his back.  He then handed him his car.  Caleb looked at the car as he calmed down.  He then looked at Calin who was crawling towards the snack table.  He followed him.  I smiled watching Calin pull himself up, so he was standing and reached for the paper bowl of cheerios. He pulled them down making them go everywhere. Caleb grabbed some off the floor and began eating as did Calin and two other babies.  Charlotte rushed over to clean the mess.  “You guys that was our afternoon snack.”  She said trying to take the cereal from the babies.  Before long she was swarmed with babies trying to get the cheerios.  She gave up and stepped aside.  “Snack time is early today!”  She announced sitting with them and eating cheerios.

  I looked at Ramona as she giggled and cried at the same time.  At least she’s laughing.  We stood there for another thirty minutes watching them before I dragged Ramona to the car.   I put her inside and drove to Popeyes.  We ate lunch and I drove us back home. 

“Cino take me back to my babies.”  She begged breaking down again.  Oh my God lord give me strength.  “Baby they are fine.”  “Then take me back so I can see for myself.” 

Before I could say anything else her phone began to ring.  It was a video call from an unsaved number.  I answered the call and saw it was Charlotte.  I smiled as I saw my sons sleeping in their cribs together.  I turned the phone so Ramona could see.  “Hey Momma, they just ate Spaghetti O's for lunch and now they are napping.  How are you holding up?”  I looked at Ramona who couldn’t speak, only smile, and nod her head.  “Today is only the first day.  It will get easier I promise.”  She nodded in response.  “You look exhausted.  Why don’t you take a nap?  By the time you wake up it will be time for them to be picked up.”  She nodded her head again.  “Okay Ramona, I will talk to you soon.”  “Thank you.”  I answered for her.  “No problem, talk to you soon.”  I hung up and looked at Ramona.

 She turned her head away from me and continued crying.  I got out and went around and opened her door.  I helped her out and into the house.  No one was home.  It was just us.  I sat her on the couch and turned the tv on.  I then went back into the kitchen and made some chamomile tea.  I poured some Benadryl in the tea making it blend as best I could and brought it to Ramona.  She was trying to stay calm, but I could tell she was about to freak out again.

 “Hey baby, drink.”  “I don’t want it.”  “Baby, please drink.”  She looked at me and took the cup and drank the tea. When the cup was empty, I took it from her and returned to the kitchen.  I washed the cup and returned it to the cupboard.  When I returned to Ramona, she was sound asleep. 

 Genius!  Why didn’t I think of that sooner? 

I slid her feet out her slides and picked up her legs and swung them around on the couch.  She rolled on her side and began to snore.  I smiled at her watching her sleep for a moment.  I then kissed her forehead.  I pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and laid it over my queen. I set an alarm on my phone and laid across from her on the opposite couch and took a nap as well. 

I awakened a few hours later to the front door closing.  I sat up and looked at Carline who was now standing over Ramona’s sleeping body.  She was still snoring.  “How did you finally get her to sleep?”  She asked amazed.  “I drugged her with Benadryl.”  I admitted.  She stared at me dumbfounded for a moment before erupting into laughter.  “She’s going to kick your ass when she wakes up!”  I smiled at her.  “Yeah, I know.”  She continued laughing while walking upstairs.   

I looked at my phone.  It was almost five o’clock.  Time to go get my boys.  I stood up and stretched.  “Pizza?”  I called out to Carline.  “HELL YEAH!”  She answered making me laugh. 

I got in Ramona’s car and drove to pick up my sons.  Caleb was asleep and Calin was ready to play.  I played around with him as I put them in their car seats.  “So, it’s true?” 

I looked up from Calin to Melissa.  I put Calin in his car seat and buckled him in, then closed his door.  I faced Melissa who stood in front of me now.

  “You really had a baby with this b***h?”  “Watch your mouth bitch.”  I growled.  She instinctively backed up.  “You know, I didn’t believe Nyla when she said she saw her with two babies.  I had to see it for myself and I have.” Nyla is her younger sister.

I watched the tears pool in her eyes.  “How are we supposed to come back from this?”  I looked at her in disbelief.  “We were beyond repair when you had me thrown in jail for molesting Isaiah!  I love that boy like my son!  You made him lie and have me thrown in jail out of spite!  You cannot take that she is a better woman for me than you!  Hell, I been knew that!  She made me come back to you!  My d**k doesn’t get hard for you anymore!  Melissa, I use to love you with everything that I am!  Now, I hate you with every breath I take!  Do not come near my kids!  Don’t send anyone for them!  And do not come anywhere near my queen or her family!  Do you understand me?”  She stood there and cried and cried.

 I got in and drove away.  I went and picked up the pizza and went back home.  I was walking in the front door to see Ramona just getting off the couch.  She looked like a brand-new person.  She smiled at me and walked over and took our sons.  “My babies!  I missed you!”  I smiled watching her hug and kiss them. 

 I walked into the kitchen with the pizzas and everyone soon flooded into the kitchen.  It was just like old times. There was no tension or conflict.  It was just everybody loving everybody.  For the first time in a long time, it felt like I belonged right where I was supposed to be.  The more I watched Ramona goof off with everyone, the more I realized I couldn’t live without her and I refused to.