Loving Cino

Chapter 8

Cino

            When we got outside, I shoved her away from me.  I watched her laugh at me like I was the funniest thing in the world, which made me even angrier.  For the past two weeks she had been badgering me to come back home.  The last week I just ignored her.  And now she was here f*****g up my night. 

“I think your girlfriend is a little embarrassed now.”  She taunted in my face.  “Don’t talk about her.”  I growled watching her face drop from amusement to annoyance.  “b***h please!  You still haven’t figured out that b***h is using you!  Wake the f**k up!”  “I’m not going to tell you again to keep her out your mouth.”  I growled again.  “Or what Cino!  What the f**k b***h boy!  What are you going to do if I keep talking about that b***h?  Huh?  f**k you and f**k her!”    Before I knew it the back of my hand crashed across her face.  She fell to the ground holding her face.  Blood dripped from her nose and she looked up at me in shock. 

“You don’t talk about her, period.”  “You hit me?” She asked.  I watched the tears in her eyes flood out and down her cheeks I use to love to kiss all the time.  “And for that b***h!”  She jumped to her feet.  I stepped to her making her step back in fear.

 “Stay away from her and stay away from me.  Don’t call me or text.  I don’t want to hear from you until our divorce hearing.”  She cried uncontrollably and stared hatred filled, brokenhearted daggers at me.

 “I will never divorce you!  You are MY husband!”  “Not for too much longer.”  “Cino you will not leave me!  I love you!  Not her!”  I looked at her.  She hadn’t said those words to me in almost a year now.  I had almost forgotten how they sounded. 

“What?”  I asked facing her again.  “I love you!”  She rushed into me and kissed me. 

I told my body to push her away from me, but it didn’t work.  Instead my body hugged her and kissed her back.  I heard myself telling me to stop but I couldn’t.  The next thing I knew we were back at our house in our bedroom. I had her on the bed loving her body and healing all of her wounds I had opened.

 “I am so sorry baby.”  I panted digging deep inside her.  “Me too.”  She moaned in my kiss.  She held onto me tightly and we became one again.  I felt so relieved and yet, so heartbroken at the same time. 

The next day was Friday and I didn’t go to work.  I woke up next to Melissa and smiled at her.  I kissed her back which was to me. She scooted away making me sneak my erection inside her from the back.  She moaned and pushed me away.  “You’ve had enough now move.”  I watched her walk into the bathroom and closed the door.

  I put my clothes on and walked in the kitchen and made some eggs and bacon.  I turned around to see Melissa sitting at the table with Isiah, her fourteen-year-old son.   I served everyone and sat down and ate. 

After breakfast we just hung out at the house.  I tried to focus on being there but couldn’t shake my sadness away.  I couldn’t understand why I was so sad because it seemed as though I got my wife back.  That alone made me happy.  I couldn’t help but think about how happy Ramona had made me these last few weeks as well. 

She was the opposite of Melissa and I appreciated that so much.  Yes, I wanted her so badly, but I wanted my wife more.  I tried to block her out and evolve myself in my wife completely.

 A week had passed, and I hadn’t seen or heard from Ramona and it was literally killing me. I had my ringer to my phone on and checked it what seemed like every hour on the hour. I couldn’t sleep or eat or think about anything but her.  Even my body missed her.

 If I wanted her, she never denied me she always gave in to me.  She did nothing but lift me up when the love of my life put me down.  I finally got up enough courage to dial her number.  I listened to it ring and ring until it went to voicemail.

 I hung up and called Derek.  “Where the hell have you been?”  He answered. 

“Where is she?”  “Heart broken.  What were you thinking?”  I dropped my head and melted to the floor against the wall. 

“I know man, I f****d up bad.”  “Are you really with Melissa right now?”  I took a deep breath and let it out.  “Cino!”  “I know!”  “Man, you started a whole relationship with Ramona, and you haven’t even left your wife.  Do you have any idea how bad you hurt Ramona?  She has not gone to work or come out that room since that night you left her at the restaurant.”  “I know, but I really need to talk to her.”  “Are you kidding me?  Cino what you need to do is choose.”  I stood up and slid into my shoes and grabbed my keys. “I did choose.”  I said running out the house.

I jumped in the car and sped down the street.  “Yeah we see that.”  “No Dee, I chose Ramona.”  “Then why are you with Melissa?”  “Could you leave your wife so easily?”  “Cino if it is done, let it be done.” 

“I thought it was done.  Do you know how confused I am right now?”  “Cino I bet you are confused as hell right about now, but do you not see where you went wrong?  You have now entangled someone else’s emotions in a situation that she should not have been in in the first place.  This is bad Cino.” 

I didn’t mean to break my baby’s heart.  I need to fix this, but I don’t know how.  Ramona did not deserve this at all.  She was the innocent party in this situation.  Yes, she knew I was married but I led her to believe it was over with my wife.  I had every intention of letting her go until she kissed me. If Melissa kissed me right now it would not change my course of action so why did it that day? 

The situation was I had fallen in love with a woman who was not my wife while still in love with my wife.  So now who do I choose?  My wife walked away from me and I chose Ramona.  Now my wife wanted me back.  Am I not obligated to go back to my wife?  But how do I do that when I needed Ramona? 

Being away from her killed me and I couldn’t take it anymore.

 Ramona could not be out of my life.  One way or another, I am going to have her.