his mercy was her name

Episode 10

Chapter 10: The Illusion That Broke HerRudransh's POV

"Inside."

The word left my mouth colder than intended.

Not because I wanted to intimidate her.

Not because I was angry at her.

But because if I allowed even one crack—

One ounce of the chaos clawing through me—

I would lose the control I had spent years mastering.

Pihu stood near the grand mansion doors, moonlight brushing softly against her face.

She looked small.

Fragile.

But tonight—

There was something else.

Something far more terrifying.

Distance.

The kind that doesn't come from physical separation.

The kind born when someone's heart begins retreating.

And God—

That terrified me.

Because I could fight enemies.

Bullets.

Blood.

Betrayal.

But how was I supposed to fight the consequences of my own silence?

She walked inside without a word.

No stubborn argument.

No pout.

No playful glare.

Nothing.

And suddenly—

I missed even her chaos.

The doors shut heavily behind us.

Leo prowled nearby, restless, sensing every dangerous shift in my mood.

I finally turned.

"Have you lost your mind?"

The words came out sharper than intended.

Not because she had done something unforgivable—

But because seeing Advik's lips near her hand...

Had nearly unleashed something monstrous inside me.

Pihu turned slowly.

And the look in her eyes—

God.

Pain.

Pure, exhausted pain.

"Oh?" she whispered bitterly.

"Now you care?"

The accusation sliced through me.

Because yes—

I cared.

Too much.

Enough to ruin us both.

"Pihu."

My voice dropped, quieter.

A warning.

A plea.

I wasn't sure anymore.

But she shook her head.

"No."

Her breathing trembled.

"You don't get to do this."

Every word hit like punishment.

"You told me to spend time with him."

Her voice cracked slightly.

"You pushed me away."

And there it was—

The truth I had created.

Not because I didn't love her.

But because I loved her enough to fear what staying beside me would cost.

"You don't get jealous now," she whispered.

A tear escaped.

And for one devastating second—

I nearly broke.

Nearly crossed every line.

Nearly grabbed her shoulders and told her everything.

That every sleepless night was built around her safety.

That every cruel decision was self-destruction disguised as protection.

That every time another man touched her—

I wanted violence.

That she was mine in every way that mattered.

But I couldn't.

Because love meant sacrifice.

And sacrifice meant silence.

"You don't understand."

The words felt pathetic.

Weak.

Because they weren't enough.

And when she looked at me—

Hope flickering desperately—

And whispered:

"Then explain..."

I felt my soul fracture.

Because I couldn't.

I couldn't tell her that my enemies would use her heartbeat against me.

I couldn't tell her that loving me publicly could become her death sentence.

So once again—

I chose silence.

And this time—

I watched something inside her break.

Her laugh came out shattered.

Not angry.

Not hysterical.

Just...

Broken.

"Exactly."

No scream.

No dramatic collapse.

Just quiet devastation.

And somehow—

That was infinitely worse.

Because this wasn't temporary pain.

This was the beginning of emotional surrender.

"I'm tired."

Her voice was so soft it nearly killed me.

"Goodnight... Rudransh."

Not Rudra.

Not Ansh.

Rudransh.

Formal.

Cold.

A wall.

And as she walked away—

I realized something horrifying:

I wasn't just protecting her anymore.

I was losing her.

Pihu's POV

That night—

I cried until breathing hurt.

Not because he yelled.

Not because he was jealous.

But because—

Even after all of that...

He still wouldn't choose me.

That was the cruelest part.

If he didn't care—

This would be easier.

But he did.

I saw it.

Felt it.

In every furious glance.

Every possessive shift.

Every moment his control nearly snapped.

So why?

Why protect me but not keep me?

Why love me in silence if silence was what destroyed me?

The contradiction was unbearable.

I curled deeper into my blankets, clutching them like they could somehow hold together the pieces of me unraveling.

Maybe I wasn't enough.

Maybe I was too soft for his world.

Maybe Elena—

Elegant, powerful, dangerous—

Was better suited for the devil than a tired surgeon who still believed in saving hearts.

That thought alone shattered me all over again.

And perhaps the worst part?

I still loved him.

Even while he broke me.

Even while he stayed silent.

Even while I slowly realized—

My heart may have chosen someone who would never truly choose me back.

By sunrise—

My tears had dried.

But something inside me had changed.

Pain was still there.

Love was still there.

But hope?

Hope was beginning to die.

And maybe...

That was necessary.

The Next Morning

For the first time in years—

I left before seeing him.

No breakfast.

No waiting.

No accidental moments that would weaken me.

My hands trembled slightly as I quietly moved through the silent halls.

Every familiar corner hurt.

Because this mansion wasn't just a home.

It was him.

His protection.

His routines.

His presence.

And now—

Even that comfort felt dangerous.

Leo found me before I reached the door.

Of course he did.

My precious boy padded silently toward me, his golden eyes immediately softening.

He nudged my hand.

Whined softly.

And just like that—

My composure nearly cracked again.

I crouched down, wrapping my arms around his massive neck.

"You're the only male in this house not breaking my heart."

My voice came out watery.

Leo huffed softly, as though deeply offended on my behalf.

A weak smile broke through.

God—

At least someone here was loyal.

I kissed his head gently.

"Take care of him, okay?"

But the truth was—

I wasn't sure who needed more protecting anymore.

Rudransh from his enemies.

Or me from loving him.

Rudransh's POV

"She left early."

The report should not have affected me the way it did.

And yet—

My entire body went still.

"She skipped breakfast."

Now that—

That was serious.

Pihu never skipped meals unless emotionally overwhelmed or physically exhausted.

And given last night—

I knew exactly which one it was.

My chest tightened unpleasantly.

Because she wasn't just hurt.

She was withdrawing.

And suddenly—

Elena's warnings echoed louder.

You're teaching her how to live without you.

No.

That wasn't supposed to happen.

Distance was supposed to protect her.

Not erase me.

But perhaps—

I had underestimated heartbreak.

Or maybe—

I had simply overestimated how much pain she could endure before giving up.

For the first time—

Real fear settled in my chest.

Not of war.

Not of bloodshed.

But of this:

What if my silence cost me the one person I would burn the world for?

Pihu's POV – Evening

The hospital kept me busy.

Thank God.

Pain is easier to survive when your hands are occupied saving others.

But exhaustion can only numb so much.

By evening—

I was running on autopilot.

And there he was.

Advik.

Waiting.

Again.

Perfect smile.

Perfect timing.

Perfectly exhausting.

"Ready?"

I nodded politely.

Because emotions had become too expensive to spend recklessly.

And maybe—

Maybe numbness was safer.

The Ride

I barely noticed the city passing by.

Until—

I did.

Rudransh's car.

It was Elena.

Inside.

Close.

Far too close.

Her hand rested near his shoulder.

His face angled toward hers.

From where I sat—

It looked unmistakable.

Like they were kissing.

My breath caught violently.

No.

No no no—

This couldn't—

But before I could process further—

The light changed.

Their car moved.

Gone.

And just like that—

Something inside me broke permanently.

I looked away instantly, blinking back tears.

Because maybe—

Maybe this had never been sacrifice.

Maybe I had romanticized pain.

Maybe he really was moving on.

Maybe I had simply been too foolish to see it.

"Pihu?"

Advik's voice sounded distant.

Concerned.

But I couldn't answer.

Because the ache in my chest was unbearable.

I had spent weeks surviving heartbreak.

But this?

This felt like humiliation.

Because I had still hoped.

Still believed.

Still loved.

And now—

I hated myself for it

Close.

Too close.

Her hand near him.

Her body angled intimately.

And from my broken perspective—

It looked like everything I feared.

My heart didn't shatter loudly this time.

No.

It was quieter.

More final.

Like the last fragile thread of hope finally snapping.

Maybe I had misunderstood him all along.

Maybe his silence had never hidden love.

Maybe it was simply rejection softened by protection.

And somehow—

That possibility hurt worse than truth.

I turned away quickly.

Before my tears could betray me.

Because one painful realization settled heavily inside me:

If loving Rudransh meant constantly breaking—

Then maybe survival meant finally learning not to.