Through The Dark

2.

Tanner

"Renée, come on," I let out a breath, sitting on my bed as I pulled my little sister to me. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying and her body shook furiously.

"D- Do you have to go?" She asked, raising her big, brown eyes to me.

"Yes, Renée," I was quiet for some time, "It's university. I have to go."

"I don't wanna stay here. Can I come with you?" She buried her head in my chest and I could feel that part of my T-shirt soak up.

"You can't come with me, Renée," I told her quietly.

She could, though. I was getting my own apartment not far from the campus and I'll be living alone, but she had to go to continue school here and I wasn't exactly sure how to make her comfortable even when I had evening classes or even classes on weekends.

She held me tight then, "Please don't go," she cried.

I let out a breath, "Right, right, Renée, let me think about it, okay?"

She nodded, and we ran quiet before she spoke, "What about Zee? I won't follow you if I can go live with her."

I shook my head. "No, Mackenzie's also going to university. We'll be attending the same one, but  just hold on, okay?" I kissed her cheek which was wet with tears.

"O- Okay," she nodded like she had done before.

I still couldn't believe it. How Mackenzie and I got accepted into the same university. It was perfect because we weren't just going in for courses we had to fill in just because we really wanted to be together, but we're going for ones we really wanted to major in. I'll be studying Film and she'll be going in for Journalism.

It had taken a lot, of course. It hadtaken a lot of sacrifice, a lot of hardwork and a lot of determination

There were days Mackenzie would have to stay over because we studied way too deep into the night. There were days I'll get so frustrated, I'll sleep off on my table, leaving Mackenzie to study alone. There were times we would get into arguments and not speak to each other while studying even when deep down, we wanted to ask questions. There were times Mackenzie would break down crying because she didn't feel we would be accepted into the same university, and of course, there were times we lazed around, snacking and watching TV instead of studying, days we literally didn't want to get our hands off each other.

My parents— if they were even worthy to be called that— didn't know about my acceptance into the university and I intended on keeping it that way. They didn't deserve to know anything going on in my life, because it was just none of business. Maybe if they had been around all our lives, things would have been different, but right now, I could care less.

I could see their efforts these days. They were trying hard. So hard to 'talk' to Renée and I. Their efforts harder than that of the previous year. They tried to be home these days, but not together, like, they made a roaster of who should be home and when. They would try to engage me in discussions, which I didn't give half f***s about. The worst part of it all, was when Mackenzie came around and mom was trying to get to know her.

Mackenzie.

I'd treated her like crap in the beginning and she always took my s**t in, until she finally gave up on me. That wasn't exactly the best moment for me.

She was the only girl I'd let in. The only girl I really, truly felt something for. She was beautiful. She was irresistible. She made me break my rules. The rules which stated that I wasn't letting any girl close to me, rules that stated that I wasn't ever going weak for any girl, but all that just changed and before I knew it, I'd forgotten about them. Because of her.

We'd gone through a lot as individuals, so it was easy for us to connect, and we were connected in a way that I didn't even see myself with another girl.

"Is Mackenzie coming today?" Renee asked, bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked down at her, "She didn't say anything about coming."

Renée always liked Mackenzie. Right from the beginning.

"Well, then, can we go get some popcorn?" She asked, her eyes now wide, a smile on her face even though her eyes were red.

"Sure, cutie pants," I chuckled at the smile on her face and her red eyes.

I hunched her over my shoulder, causing her to giggle. While we walked down the stairs, she made beats as she hit my back.

"If you keep doing that, I'll throw you down this stairs," I joked.

She laughed, hitting harder, "You can't ever do that, big brother."

I chuckled as a hand went down to her leg, tickling her feet and she burst out laughing. "It's okay, Tanner... I'll stop!"

We got to the kitchen and my smile disappeared as I saw my mom standing by the counter, chopping some carrots. "Hey!" She greeted, a shaky smile on her face.

I put Renée down and she looked at me as soon as she saw mom.

"Hey, baby. Have you been crying?" Mom turned to face Renée, putting the knife she held aside. Renée stood, quiet and I walked to the refrigerator to get some corn out to pop.

"What's wrong?" Mom asked Renée quietly.

"Nothing. Tanner already took care of it," she replied.

"Uh..." Mom looked over at me and we locked gazes. I stared hard at her until she looked away, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Renée moved to where I stood before looking down at her feet. "Oops, I forgot to wear my flip-flops!"

"Go put them on," I told her. Knowing I always told her to put them on in the kitchen, she nodded before running out.

I poured some oil before adding the  popcorn kernels in the popcorn machine and just as I was about to turn it on,

"Can we talk?" Mom asked hastily, knowing that I was likely to leave the kitchen as soon as I turned the machine on.

"I'm sorry, what?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"C- Can we talk?" She repeated herself,  uncomfortable asking the second time when clearly, I'd heard her the first time.

"I have nothing to say to you," I spat.

"Well, I- I have something to say to you."

"Has it ever occurred to you that I don't wanna hear it?"

"Tanner.." Her voice trailed off even as Renée walked back into the kitchen, humming happily to herself.

"Is all the corn popped yet?" She asked.

"Not yet.. and the word is are. Are all the corn popped yet?" I told her before turning the machine on.

"Had Mackenzie said anything about coming yet?" She asked me. "Can she come, please?" She tugged on my arm, "Please, call her."

I could feel mom's eyes on me so, I said, "No, uh, why don't we go to her house instead?"

"Yes, yes!" She jumped excitedly.

"Right. I'll text her. But we've got to let all these corn pop," I laughed.

"Yeah! And we'll take some to her," she squealed, causing me to chuckle.

Sometimes, it felt like Renée liked Mackenzie more than I did, but it wasn't true.

It just wasn't.