A Hand to Hold

Chapter eleven

~ Natalie

*

Ronan and I spent the morning running errands. Our first stop was the bank, where I kept a safety deposit box. I needed my personal documents in order to obtain a marriage license. Lastly, we drove to my old apartment building, where I spoke to my landlord and explained my sudden departure. Ronan had insisted on accompanying me. When I mentioned the damages, he instructed the landlord to send the bill to him, refusing to hear any argument from me. I stewed in annoyance all the way back to the office, which Ronan took little notice of. I feared the imbalance of power between us. What kind of control, if any, could I retain being married to the man who signed my paychecks?

*

Upon our return to the OCE building, Ronan showed me where his guys had stashed my belongings. I needed to decide what I wanted to take to my new home with Ronan. I wondered how long the surreality of my situation would last. Only the day before, I’d been nothing more than Ronan’s assistant, who didn’t even address him by his first name. In the blink of an eye, our names were side by side on a marriage license, and I was hours away from moving into his home.

*

At the moment, I didn’t know what to feel. I didn’t know how to process such radical change. A strange calm I couldn’t explain had settled over me. I managed to find comfort in what I already knew about the man who would become my husband. Though Ronan and I were not in love, we had something a lot more reliable— trust. We trusted each other, and that played a big part in why I’d agreed to the marriage in the first place.

*

Ronan left me to sort through my stuff while he had the unpleasant job of informing his grandmother of our plans to marry that evening. As I finished my task, my phone rang. “Hey, Trina,” I answered.

“Nat!” she shrieked in irritation. “When I asked you to send someone to pick me up, I didn’t mean the reincarnation of Evel freaking Knievel!”

“Whoa! Calm down, Trina. I’m sorry, I don’t know who Ronan sent.” I promptly headed for the elevators as I asked, “Where are you now?”

“I’m in the parking garage downstairs, thanking my lord and savior for sparing my life, which flashed before my eyes more than once on the way here.”

“I’ll be right there,” I assured as I mashed the button for the lowest level.

*

The past twenty-four hours had me wondering which end was up. But when the elevator doors opened, and I saw my best friend for the first time in six months, I suddenly felt anchored. She dropped her bags, and we ran to each other. Amidst our embrace, she softly said, “Just come home with me, Nat.” While stroking my hair, she added, “You’ll be safe in Vermont. You don’t need to marry a man you don’t love.” I gave her a final squeeze before pulling away to look at her. “They will find me anywhere I go now, trust me. They tracked my parents across the world.” And murdered them in cold blood, I thought to myself.

*

“And besides,” I added, reaching for the larger of Trina’s two bags, “I really do want to help Ronan get his inheritance. No one deserves to own OCE more than him. We are both slaves to our parents’ actions and choices. Everything will work out, though. I just know it.”

“I had to try,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

“I know, and it’s why I love you.”

*

I guided Trina to the apartment I stayed in the night before. “Ronan said you’re welcome to stay here however long you’re in Chicago if you want,” I told her as we entered.

“Hell yes!” she exclaimed, taking in the luxuriousness of Ronan’s home away from home. “This place is amazing! I can’t believe your future husband owns the entire building now. Losing John as partner clearly didn’t slow him down any.” I led her into the bedroom and put her bag on the bed. She suddenly took ahold of my left hand and examined the ring Ronan had put on my finger that same morning. “It’s very you,” she admitted, “he did good.”

“I thought so, too.”

*

We ordered food, and over lunch, I filled her in on all the office gossip while she told me about her job back home, which left her feeling under-appreciated. One thing I noticed during our catch-up time was that Trina didn’t have a single positive thing to say about her life in Vermont. And when I mentioned how happy her parents must be having her home, she simply nodded and immediately changed the subject.

*

Before I could pry deeper into Katrina’s life, someone knocked on the door. “Candace!” I exclaimed in delight when I found her in the hall. She charged into the apartment with a garment bag slung over her arm and said, “You didn’t think you could elope with one of my closest friends without me, did you?”

*

Movement behind us caught Candace’s attention, and she squealed in surprise, “Trina! Oh my God!” She tossed the bag onto the kitchen island, freeing her arms to hug Trina. “I didn’t know you were in town.”

“I just arrived a couple hours ago,” Trina explained.

“What’s in the bag, Candace?” I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

“After talking to Ronan this morning, I knew I had to do something to make the day a little more special. So… I got you a dress.”

“What?!” I responded in surprise.

“Don’t freak out, it’s nothing fancy."

“Didn’t he tell you we aren’t having an actual wedding?”

“So what? Every girl deserves to feel like a bride on her wedding day, regardless of the circumstances.”

“Well, I’m dying to see it,” Trina said, “Go put it on, Nat!” With a sigh, I picked up the bag and headed for the bedroom.

*

I flopped the garment bag on the bed and took a steadying breath before reaching for the zipper. The dress Candace chose for me was simple but classy. After changing into the lightweight wedding gown, I evaluated myself in the floor-length mirror, conflicted by what I saw. The dress had dainty straps, a low neckline, and the back consisted of only lace. The satin fabric was of the highest quality I’d ever had against my skin. I certainly looked the part of a bride, but I didn’t feel like one. Not as I would have if I were marrying a man I loved.

*

“Come out already. We wanna see!” Trina yelled from the other room. I quickly ran my fingers through my long hair and draped it over my shoulder. When I walked into the living room, both girls softly gasped. They sat side by side on the sofa, and I gave them a slow twirl.

“You look gorgeous, Natalie!” Trina praised.

“It’s a perfect fit,” Candace said, smiling. “In size and style.”

“I’m really grateful, Candace,” I said. “But you shouldn’t have gone through the trouble.”

“Were you really planning to marry a billionaire in your pencil skirt?” Her hazel eyes looked at me incredulously as I responded meekly, “I didn’t think it mattered.”

“Well, it does.”

*

“I know you don’t want to hear this,” Trina interjected as she twirled a finger around the end of her brown hair, “but I have a pair of shoes in my suitcase that would look amazing with that dress.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to hear that?” I questioned.

“Because they’re high heels.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Candace wanted to know.

“I don’t like wearing high heels,” I admitted. “However… today, I think I’ll make an exception.”

“Really?” Trina’s caramel eyes widened in surprise.

“Why not? As Candace said, I am marrying a billionaire.”

“Good for you, girl! Own it!” Candace said. “I told you the day we met you’d be a good fit for him. This relationship is way past due.” She tossed her sleek black hair over her shoulder and leaned back on the sofa, leaving me momentarily stunned.

*

“What are you saying?” I asked. “You wanted us to get together?” Candace sighed and answered, “I suppose I owe you an explanation.” I sat in the club chair opposite her as she continued, “The day of your interview was the same day I learned about Patrick Ó Ceallaigh’s will and what it meant for Ronan. He confided in me that morning, and not even an hour later, I met you. The more we talked, the more I felt in my gut you’d be good for him as more than just an assistant. But I’ve tried to set Ronan up many times before, and he always turned me down. I knew if there was any hope for the two of you, I would have to let things unfold on their own. But I made it my mission to make sure you got hired.”

“How so?” Trina asked with interest.

“Ronan relishes being in control, so I gave him the control,” Candace explained. “I was supposed to submit one applicant for approval. Instead, I gave him two and let him choose, knowing he would choose you.”

“Wait, he chose me? I thought you did.”

“I tipped the scale in your favor, but ultimately, he made the decision. And without knowing what you looked like, I might add. He doesn’t believe in seeing candidates’ pictures before they’re hired.”

*

Realization hit me, and I said, “So, that’s why he reacted the way he did my first day.”

“What are you talking about?” Candace wanted to know. I explained to them both about my first encounter with Ronan as his PA. Candace was laughing by the end of my story while Katrina scowled. She didn’t see the humor in his assumption that I was there to seduce him. “You truly are perfect for him,” Candace said, smiling.

*

This new revelation from Candace had me feeling uneasy. Approaching this marriage with optimism was one thing, but too much hope risked a broken heart. “Candace, this isn’t a real marriage,” I reminded her as well as myself. “We aren’t in love.”

“I see no reason why it can’t be a real marriage.” She shrugged and added, “And as far as love goes well… that’s only a matter of time.”

“I wish you wouldn’t fill my head with false hope. He’s already admitted the only reason he chose me was because I don’t have any unrealistic expectations of him as a husband. I already know his priority is, and will always be, OCE, and I accept that.”

*

Sensing my distress, Trina came to my defense, saying, “I, for one, am glad you’re not letting yourself get carried away with fantasies. Being realistic will protect you in the long run.”

“Ronan and Natalie living happily ever after isn’t unrealistic,” Candace argued.

“It is if you define ‘happily-ever-after’ as the two of us falling madly in love,” I pointed out. “I trust Ronan to never intentionally hurt me, but the only thing he’ll ever be devoted to is OCE, and it’s foolish to hope for anything more.”

*

I didn’t know how to deal with the knowledge that Candace had manipulated Ronan into hiring me. Especially since she’d clearly been wrong about our compatibility. If we were so right for each other, as she predicted, why hadn’t something developed between us within the past year? I knew her heart was in the right place, but I just wanted to forget the entire conversation.

*

“Let’s talk about something else,” I suggested. I turned to my bestie and said, “Trina, tell me about the Evel Knievel character who picked you up from the airport.”

“Oh, um, I think he said his name was Calvin?”

“Good Lord, Callum picked you up?” Candace interjected. “I’m surprised you made it here in one piece.”

“Who’s Callum?” I asked.

“You haven’t met Ronan’s best friend yet?”

“I thought you were Ronan’s best friend?”

“I am his oldest friend. Ronan met Callum in Italy the year he traveled across Europe.”

“I didn’t know he traveled through Europe either.” What else did I not know about the man hours away from becoming my husband?

*

“Callum didn’t sound Italian,” Katrina commented.

“That’s because he’s American,” Candace explained. “From Arizona, I think. His parents died when he was barely legal and left him a small fortune. He wandered aimlessly around the world until Ronan sort of adopted him.”

“What does he do now?” I asked.

“He’s really good with computers. He has a cushy consulting gig that has something to do with programming the computers they put in high-end vehicles. He’s good at it too.”

“Interesting,” I commented.

“Interesting is not the word to describe Callum. Menace is more like it.”

“I agree with that,” added Trina.

*

Spending the day with Katrina and Candace was a welcome distraction from my growing nerves. In the afternoon, they dragged me into the bedroom to begin my transformation into a respectable bride. They spent over an hour fixing my hair and doing my makeup. I’d never had anyone else do my makeup before, and I was worried until I looked at myself in the mirror. Relief washed over me as I realized how well my friends knew me. I still looked like myself, just … enhanced.

*

At five o’clock on the dot, I heard the front door open and Ronan call, “Hello?” from the other room. “You stay right where you are, Natalie,” Candace instructed. “I’ll deal with him.” She left the bedroom before I could respond.

*

With the bedroom door cracked open, I caught Candace’s side of the conversation. “No, Ronan, she’s coming with us.” He mumbled something in response, and Candace replied, “I don’t care what you had planned. You sprung this on her at the last minute without even giving her time to get her aunt here. The least you can do is let her arrive at her wedding with her friends.” It was strange having someone else stand up for me besides Trina, but I was grateful. Candace was a fierce friend.

*

The girls and I made our way to the parking garage, where we piled into Candace’s Lexus SUV. Setting out for my new home felt strange when I didn’t even know where that was. Candace and Trina dove right into conversation while I did my best to feign interest. All my mind could focus on was what awaited me.

*

The distance from the office to Ronan’s house was farther than I anticipated. We’d been in the car nearly thirty minutes and were on the outskirts of civilization when I asked, “Ronan doesn’t live within the city?”

“No, he likes space, privacy, and quiet,” Candace replied. If that were true, I wondered how he would cope with a new inhabitant in his home. I didn’t have too much time to think about it, though, because a few twists and turns later, we pulled into a gated property.

*

It was difficult to determine how expansive Ronan’s territory was for all the mature trees in the area that created privacy. As the car glided over the circular gravel driveway, I leaned toward the window to take in the view. Ronan’s home was nothing like what I’d imagined. For one, it was smaller than I’d envisioned for a billionaire. “I had that same look on my face the first time I came here,” Candace told me. “Not what you were expecting, is it?” I couldn’t answer. I was too enamored with the house. I’d needlessly dreaded moving into a cold, enormous mansion. Ronan’s place was anything but.

*

I slid out of the backseat, never taking my eyes off my new home. It was warm, welcoming, and modest in size. The only way of knowing the place belonged to someone with disposable income was if you looked closely at the details. The stone on the facade, the pristine flower bed, and the massive, hand-carved mahogany front door were all immaculate and only a taste of the extravagance that lay within.

*

In the middle of drooling over what was now my new home, I suddenly felt the warm hand of my best friend on my arm. I looked over at Trina as she said with a smile, “All right, let’s get you married.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~