A Hand to Hold

Chapter twenty-one

~ Natalie

*

One minute, I was getting acquainted with my new sister-in-law, and the next, I was gaping at the Barbie doll embracing my husband. Logically, I had no reason to be jealous. Ronan and I didn’t have a real relationship. But my emotions would not be reasoned with. Especially when the catalyst was so gorgeous. She was the epitome of perfection, standing at 5’ 7” with pure porcelain skin, an impeccable smile, and a flawless figure. She was the type of woman all men wanted, and women couldn’t help but envy. Even women like me who weren’t all that fussy about their looks.

*

“Cynthia,” Ronan addressed. “How did you know to come here?” I noticed how she remained in constant contact with him, touching his arm as if she owned him. “Oh, Ronan, I was on the phone with her when it happened. It was awful.” Even her voice was melodic.

*

“I would have been here sooner,” Cynthia claimed, “but I made the mistake of going to the wrong hospital. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you, Ronny.” Whoa, what did she call him? Who the heck was she to him that afforded her the privilege of using a nickname? And a ridiculous one at that.

*

“You have nothing to apologize for, Cynthia,” Ronan assured her. “I only just arrived a few moments ago. Brigid is still in surgery. There’s nothing for us to do right now but wait.” I expected Ronan to introduce me to the mystery woman he seemed so familiar with, but he didn’t. I tried not to take it personally. When we’d arrived, Ronan could hardly focus enough to remember Brigid’s birthday. I’d never seen him so distraught. It came as a relief when he relinquished enough control to let me help him.

*

Ronan took a seat in one of the waiting room chairs while Cynthia promptly occupied the seat beside him, reaching for his hand, which he allowed her to hold. Given how much Ronan cared for his grandmother, I couldn’t bring myself to be upset with his thoughtless behavior. My feelings were the last thing he needed to be concerned with at the moment. I just wish I had more information on who the voluptuous beauty was and how she knew my husband so well. For all I knew, she had a bigger claim on him than I did.

*

Feeling useless, I decided to hunt down some decent coffee. “I’m going to find the cafeteria. Does anyone want anything?” I asked. Ronan merely shook his head. Cynthia didn’t take notice of me at all. But Maddie said, “I do. I’ll come with you.”

*

I walked through the hospital alongside Ronan’s sister. She didn’t say a word to me until we reached the cafeteria. “Pay no attention to Cynthia.” I looked at her questionably as she continued, “I could see you were bothered by her… shall we say… affectionate ways toward my brother.”

“Who is she?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

*

Maddie and I ordered our refreshments and paid before she answered, “Her father and my father used to do a lot of business together. In fact, Ronan still does business with him from time to time. Do you know David Price?”

“Lord, yes,” I responded, automatically rolling my eyes. “Dealing with David Price is one of the few things I don’t miss about my job. He always expected to be given special priority. As if Ronan had nothing better to do than drop everything to meet with him.”

“That sounds exactly like how my dad used to complain about the man,” Maddie replied with a soft laugh. “He’s a shrewd businessman, but his success has made him extremely entitled and arrogant, and his daughter is no different. If anything, she’s worse.”

*

We claimed a table in a secluded corner of the cafeteria, and I clarified, “So, Cynthia is David’s daughter?” Maddie nodded, replying, “Because our fathers worked together, the Prices became family friends. David’s wife, Leticia, is one of my mother’s closest friends. Ronan and Cynthia also went to school together. She’s always had this weird sort of claim on him, even though he’s made it clear they are not a thing.” I sipped my bitter beverage quietly in thought.

*

Why didn’t Ronan simply marry Cynthia when he realized he needed a wife? She was exceptionally beautiful, and they’d known each other a long time. She seemed the most logical choice of bride. Certainly a more logical choice than his assistant with Russian baggage.

*

“I can see your mind working,” Maddie said. “It’s why I wanted to come get this crappy cup of coffee with you; to reassure you, despite what she thinks, Cynthia has no claim on my brother.”

“Ronan never mentioned her to me,” I admitted more pathetically than intended.

“And that should tell you all you need to know about how unimportant she is to him.”

“It’s silly for me to feel insecure in the first place,” I said, more to myself than to her. “Ronan and I have an agreement, not a real marriage.”

“I know you think that now, but he already holds you in a much higher regard than he does her. He did marry YOU, after all. Don’t underestimate how much my brother likes you.”

*

Maddie took her cup in hand and stood as she announced, “I don’t want to be away too long. I just wanted to offer some encouraging words.”

“Thank you, Maddie. Truly.”

“I’m happy you’re part of our family. You suit him.” With that, she left me to my thoughts.

~~*~~

It seemed selfish to dwell on my insecurities over Cynthia while Ronan’s grandmother underwent open-heart surgery. I knew if I were in Ronan’s place, I’d need support from my friends. So, I decided to pour my efforts into letting him know I was there for him in whatever way he needed me. My anger toward him was still present in the farthest recesses of my mind. However, I couldn’t focus on my resentment while he was in such an emotionally fragile place. It was akin to kicking a man while he was down. My Aunt Mel raised me better than that. One day soon, Ronan would have to answer for the way he treated me. But today, he deserved a friend.

*

The four of us waited hours and hours. When she first arrived, Maddie had been instructed to watch the screen on the wall for any changes in Brigid’s status. After nearly seven hours, it still reflected her surgery as ongoing. For the first three hours, Cynthia had been adamant about remaining at Ronan’s side. After hour four, however, he convinced her to go home when she’d ‘conveniently’ fell asleep on his shoulder. He never got around to introducing me as his wife, and Cynthia acted as though I didn’t exist at all. I cut her an ounce of slack, though, because I still wore my ratty painting clothes. I’m sure I didn’t look like anyone important.

*

I repositioned in my seat and yawned. Ronan leaned toward me and whispered, “Why don’t you go home, bean chéile?” I caught Maddie smiling from her corner seat when she heard Ronan address me by my sobriquet. It also didn’t escape my notice that Ronan had asked rather than commanded. “I wouldn’t be any more comfortable at home, wondering how she is doing,” I said. “I want to stay.” Ronan didn’t protest but squeezed my hand and sent me an appreciative smile.

*

At dinnertime, I stood to stretch my legs. I told Ronan I was going to walk around awhile. He nodded, but I sensed a bit of hesitancy in him to release my hand. After a brief stroll, I went in search of vending machines. Having located a pair around the corner from the elevator, I purchased an array of snacks and a couple bottles of water. Ronan hadn’t consumed a thing since we’d arrived. I hoped if I put something in front of him, he’d eventually relent.

*

“Here,” I said, extending my offering of snacks. “You should eat something.” When he selected nothing but a bottle of water, I chided, “Ronan.” He took a package of nuts from my hands, but I never saw him open the bag. I sighed in defeat, knowing there wasn’t anything more I could do for him.

*

Another hour passed when Ronan suddenly pointed to the screen, saying, “Maddie, look.” The status next to Brigid’s name had changed. She was being moved to recovery in the ICU. A few moments later, a doctor entered the waiting room, calling for Brigid’s family.

*

I listened intently as the doctor explained Brigid’s condition and what they had accomplished in surgery. She made it through quite well, and her prognoses looked good, but the recovery would be long and arduous. Ronan asked to see his grandmother, but the doctor warned him she wouldn’t come out of the anesthesia for some time. Ronan insisted on being by her side when she did.

*

After the doctor retreated, Ronan turned to me and said, “Natalie, I want you to go home and get some rest. Please.” I was softened by his use of the magic word, but I still didn’t like the idea of leaving. Seeing the reluctance on my face, Ronan took ahold of my hands and said, “You’ve been amazing, and I truly appreciate all you’ve done, but I’d feel better knowing you’ve gotten some decent sleep in a real bed.” I bit my lip before asking, “Will you call me when she wakes up?”

“Absolutely, bean chéile.”

“Alright then. I’ll go.”

“Thank you, lass. For everything.”

*

Ronan reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, stating, “I’ll call Harrison.”

“Ronan, it’s late.” I protested. “Let me just take an Uber. Nobody knows I am here.”

“No, absolutely not. Harrison’s already offered his services, no matter the time. He’s expecting to take you home.”

“Fine. But you better give him an extra-large Christmas bonus.” He smiled and agreed.

*

I hadn’t realized how stiff and sore my body had become from sitting in the waiting room all day until I climbed into the luxurious back seat of Ronan’s Rolls Royce. I nearly fell asleep before we were out of the hospital parking lot but managed to stay awake the entire way home by talking to Harrison about Brigid’s condition. He was happy to be useful, which made me feel a little less guilty for dragging him out of his home in the middle of the night.

*

After a quick shower and getting into clean pajamas, I felt grateful to Ronan for convincing me to return home. It also gave me a newfound determination to return the favor just as soon as he’s been reassured of his grandmother’s stable condition.

*

I’d seen a different side to Ronan that day. A side that reminded me of the hope I had when we first got married. There was a well of untapped compassion, and possibly even love, within him. Was this what my inner voice wanted me to wait for? To unlock this side of him? I wanted to, I really did, but I feared failure and the heartbreak that would follow. Ronan stirred an myriad of emotions in me. Granted, recently, it’d been mostly anger and resentment, but I knew there was much more he could incite within me, and it was nerve-racking. I felt uneasy being at the mercy of a man who could never love me. It was like being on a slippery slope with nothing to hold onto. Which was why leaving had been so tempting. But abandoning Ronan was out of the question so long as his beloved grandmother lay in the ICU.

*

Thoughts of Ronan followed me into my subconscious, and he dominated my dreams all night long. It came as a surprise when I awoke the following day feeling well-rested. I reached for my phone and found no missed calls or new texts. I went into the bathroom and hastily ran through my routine. Once dressed in a pair of dark wash jeans and a white cable knit sweater, I headed downstairs.

*

As I ate breakfast, I filled Marie in on everything I knew about Brigid, which wasn’t much. I asked her to prepare a hot but portable breakfast for me to take to Ronan. As I filled a thermos with fresh coffee, I dialed my ride. After being chauffeured home at such an inconvenient hour, I hated the idea of disturbing Harrison so early in the morning. But I’d had enough of fighting with Ronan to anger him by calling an Uber or, heaven forbid, commandeering his Lamborghini.

*

While waiting for Harrison to fetch me, I went to the den and selected one of the many vases containing a bouquet of pink buttercups. They still looked as fresh as the day Ronan surprised me. I thought Brigid would appreciate having flowers in her room. Lord knew I had plenty to spare.

*

Upon returning to the hospital, I swiftly made my way to the ICU. As I approached Brigid’s room, I stopped in my tracks at the voices wafting through the cracked door. “I just don’t understand why you still haven’t told her about Natalie,” I heard Maddie say. I wasn’t ordinarily one to eavesdrop, but after hearing my name, I couldn’t stop myself. I had to know who ‘she’ was.

*

“Because I can’t have her interfering and attempting to scare Natalie away,” Ronan replied. “You haven’t told her, have you?”

“I promised I wouldn’t. Have you ever known me to break a promise? Though, I think you’re worrying about nothing. Mother isn’t nearly as calculating as you make her out to be.”

“You’re her daughter. Your opinion of her is swayed by love. You didn’t hear her accuse me of stealing your inheritance or her promise to take me to court.”

“She’s all talk, you know that. She is still bitter about the divorce, even though she was mostly to blame. Anyway, I’ve already made my position clear to her. The business belongs to you. I don’t want that responsibility.”

“That may be, but she’s intent on you getting it.”

*

When my conscience kicked in, I tapped on the door and pushed it open. Ronan stood as I entered, looking like he hadn’t slept since I last saw him. Maddie, however, wore different clothes, indicating she’d at least made it home at some point.

*

“Good morning,” I said quietly, placing the vase on the bedside table.

“Those are beautiful, Natalie,” Maddie expressed. “Grandma’s going to love them when she wakes up.”

“They’re from Ronan, actually,” I pointed out, and he responded with a grateful smile. I passed him the bag of food and the thermos, saying, “Marie made you breakfast.” I turned to Maddie and added, “There’s plenty for two if you can talk your brother into sharing.”

*

Before I could react, Ronan’s arms had engulfed me. I was stunned. Had he ever hugged me before? I remembered hugging him— in my buzzed state after our one and only date. But I was sure my husband had never hugged me. It must have been infectious because Maddie joined in.

*

Being warmly embraced by Ronan and his sister rendered me speechless. Luckily, my response didn’t matter because, at that moment, Brigid awoke. “Can anyone spare a bit of affection for me?” she asked weakly.

“Móraí,” Ronan breathed in relief, instantly reaching for his grandmother’s hand.

*

After kissing Brigid’s pale cheek, Ronan said, “We’ve been so worried about you.”

“I don’t know why,” she replied. “You know it would take a hell of a lot more than a silly little thing like a heart attack to do me in.” Her words were lighthearted, but her tone was edged with exhaustion. She did her utmost to put on a brave face for the sake of her family.

*

Ronan pressed the call button for the nurse, who entered a moment later to check Brigid’s vitals. I migrated into the hall and texted Harrison and Katrina, letting them know the Irish matriarch was conscious and in good spirits. When I saw the nurse leave, I re-entered the room and sat beside Ronan near the window.

*

“You heard what the nurse said, Grandma,” Maddie stated. “You need to take it easy.”

“Nonsense!” Brigid protested. “The charity gala is in a week.” Ronan wearily rubbed his beard and replied, “Now that you mention it, I’ve been thinking we should cancel the gala.”

“Certainly not! It’s been in the works for months. I will not have all my hard work go to waste.”

“Grandma, any strenuous activity could further damage your health,” Maddie reminded her.

“Then someone will have to take over. But it will not be canceled.”

“Who on earth could take over a task of that magnitude at the eleventh hour?” Ronan questioned. “Even Cynthia couldn’t pull it off without you.”

“I wasn’t referring to Cynthia.”

“Who did you have in mind, Móraí?”

“Natalie, of course.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~