Finding Sunshine

Cloudy mind

The next morning Zarak sat in the large reading room that he had taken Rain to in his memory. He knew it was too much for Rain. He scared her and that broke his heart.

*”Zarak.” Rains voice came to him.

*” Are you okay?” He sent out. He held his breath. Just being connected to her mind made his blood flow feel like a raging river, he felt energized and refreshed. He felt more alive then he’s ever felt. His thoughts were clearer and even the world seemed brighter. That’s what happens when you deny a universal promise, you slowly and painfully die inside. He was about to be 22 but had the energy of an fifty year old scarlet being who’s been in too many wars.

*”I need to know everything but I can’t go through your memories again, at least not right now.” Rain’s voice came to him in a cloudy manner. She sounded defeated. He couldn’t blame her, it’s a lot on someone to take all in, and within such short amount of time. Zarak exhaled, in hopes that calmness would travel with his thoughts and she could feel alittle peace.

*” I know it’s a lot. I’m sorry. Why don’t we walk in the garden and I can tell you everything.” He sent out. Fresh air would do them both some good. The castle could make a being feel so trapped.

*” No, tell me right now.” Rain demanded.

As royalty, Zarak has never been talked to the way she’s talked to him. He never heard a stern no or had a woman be completely unfazed by him but Rain could do whatever she’d please to him and it would never bother him. This was his lifemate, his promised queen. He’s spent his whole life seeing her in his mind. He’s remembered everything about her face. He was smiling, being able to finally hear her is all he needed and he knew he wouldn’t wanna see another day if she wasn’t there.

*” My twin brother grew angry with my father, he felt that he should of been chosen to take my fathers place as king. He was smarter than I, that’s for sure.” Zarak rubbed the bridge of his nose. He hasn’t talked about this before. It was difficult to not flood her with his emotions. He let out a slow breath

*” The night we visited in my memory, he was furious. He too, grew up seeing visions of you play in his head. Zee knew that if I were to be king, I would take your hand in marriage.” Zarak could fell tears burn behind his eyes.

*” He ran away.” He shortened the explanation.

*”So my mom knew?” He could hear the sadness in her. He could imagine the betrayal she’s feeling.

*” I begged my father to let him be king. Zee had the heart and the mind of Aries. He would of been the better king.” He exhaled.

“Your mother agreed to keep an eye on him and she would send updates. She sent out a message to my father not too long after, that you had fallen in love with Zee. He was to be king and take you as queen but Zee refused to come back. He hated this castle, this clan and especially my father.” Zarak replayed these memories often.

he sighed "Father fell iller as the days passed."

*” The universe promise.” Rain stated. Already starting to understand.

*” by the third year my fathers strength and spark for life were almost nonexistent. I assume your mothers as well.” His voice barely able to be sent out. He was reliving the heartbreak of seeing his father decline.

*” My mother sent for xara, in hopes they would keep each other here longer but your mother would not come. So the Queen went to the dark woods herself to fetch her kings lifemate.”

Zarak felt the air get thinner by the second. His hands started to shake and he felt no control within. A panic attack? He asked himself. He thought he had gotten rid of them.

*” Zarak.” Her voice brought Zarak back to the present moment. He took a deep breath. He knew she felt his panic and pain. He worked so hard for so long to learn to control his feelings and here he is throwing all his trainings out the window. He dropped his head into his hands. Maybe this is a sign. He isn’t meant to be king and he didn’t deserve her as his queen.

“Zarak” Rains voice filled the room. Zarak looked up and his eyes met hers.

“ I’m sorry. I’m usually really good at being strong.” He said as he wiped his tears while he stood up.

“What happened?” She asked as she slowly walked toward Zarak.

“They both were ambushed.” He didn’t even try to stop his tears from falling. He didn’t have the strength to in this moment.

“The Snow clan had found out about Xaras visit and that she was alive. They took them and declared war. the snow king was upset that he was lead to believe his daughter was dead all those years and he thought my father faked Xaras death to keep Peace and casted her out so he may marry his childhood love. My mother. In their eyes it was an act of war.They knew with my father still alive but weak, they had the upper hand in strength and they could take our territory but They knew that Zee would come back home to become king once my father passed. So our mothers were a pawn. If we were to surrender, they would let them go.”

"My father made a universal promise to never reveal Xaras truth to the snow king. His hands were tied."

Zarak could see Rain crying. She looked confused.

“ you didn’t surrender? For you own mother? For mine?” Rains voice was raspy and broken. She took a step back and looked at him like he was a monster.

“ You need to know that Zee and I both love you. He may have not gone about it the right way, and I definitely started off bad but we would never hurt you. We wanted to surrender.” Zarak held his chest, in hopes it would stop his heart from exploding.

“Chad. His name is Chad now.” Rain said. She shook her head in disbelief.

“ How could you let them die?” He could hear the pain in her voice.

“Why would you let them die?”